Inner Michael » A closer look at Michael Jackson's life and work

 
Michael Jackson was not who "they" told us he was. A minister and metaphysician takes a look at Michael Jackson. "Inner Michael" is a metaphor and Inner Michael website is a research project into a man, his life and his work and how it influenced the world. Read More...

Forgiveness Challenge- All for Love

I sincerely urge you, and hope against hope that you will give yourself this gift! It is only day 2 of “The Forgiveness Project” lead by Desmond Tutu and his daughter, Mpho Tutu and I already know I am in the right place. The project started with a survey that immediately told me that there is nothing but personal gain ahead of me in joining this project and I already see that it will make the world a better place.

In listening to Bishop Tutu and Reverend Tutu speak on Huffington Post live, a single initial question stopped me in my tracks: “If this was a world where we didn’t nurse grudges… what kind of world would this already be?”

Where “we didn’t NURSE grudges?”

Whoa. I had always thought of it as holding a grudge. I have looked at places where I hold grudges and I know I need more work there, but do I nurse grudges?

The question startled me but I had to admit that there are areas in my life where I do– not just hold grudges but I nurse them! Already I am more awake! More aware! Already I have found one way to become a better person and thereby create a better (instead of bitter) world. I am more awake, aware and comforted than I was yesterday.

I learned that simply a smile and a simple greeting to the “other” is considered the start of building bridges and creating peace. I know I don’t smile enough.

I was relieved to hear also that we are obligated to stand up and speak out as patriots and as loyal opposition to oppression and injustice; forgiveness does not circumvent justice or the need to right the wrong.

I was glad to hear that– forgiveness is not all Kumbaya or ‘Hakuna Matata.’ Forgiveness does not mean ignoring those guilty of wrongdoing; forgiveness does not mean letting people off the hook but holding people accountable for their actions. It is asking for what is needed to move forward. “I’m sorry” are difficult words, but they are healing words. Taking responsibility for what has been done is courageous. Taking responsibility for the path to forgiveness in any situation is also courageous. It’s noble.

Here are the first steps to immersion in the forgiveness challenge. “Peace begins with me,” so I was delighted to find the program begins with how one treats self. Boy, do I need to learn to treat myself better and that will give me permission to extend that compassion to others.

It looks like I may about to drop a lot of unnecessary baggage and begin reconciliation. I am definitely in the right place and this is the right time.

When we do this kind of work, adding intention and dedication amplifies the impact of the work and makes it much stronger. I am going to dedicate this work to someone and do it on behalf of them. It is probably the greatest gift I can give the world in their honor. I can ‘make that change’ to be the change I wish to see in the world.

http://forgivenesschallenge.com/

Here’s a sneak peak– the survey that is a measurement tool for before and after:

Directions:
In the course of our lives negative things may occur because of our own actions, the actions of others, or circumstances beyond our control. For some time after these events, we may have negative thoughts or feelings about ourselves, others, or the situation. Think about how you typically respond to such negative events. Click the circle on the seven-point scale under each of the following items that best describes how you typically respond to the type of negative situation described. There are no right or wrong answers. Please be as open as possible in your answers.

Choices:
Almost Always False of Me
More Often False of Me
More Often True of Me
Almost Always True of Me

2. Although I feel bad at first when I mess up, over time I can give myself some slack.

3. I hold grudges against myself for negative things I’ve done.

4. Learning from bad things that I’ve done helps me get over them.

5. It is really hard for me to accept myself once I’ve messed up.

6. With time I am understanding of myself for mistakes I’ve made.

7. I don’t stop criticizing myself for negative things I’ve felt, thought, said, or done.

8. I continue to punish a person who has done something that I think is wrong.

9. With time I am understanding of others for the mistakes they’ve made.

10. I continue to be hard on others who have hurt me.

11. Although others have hurt me in the past, I have eventually been able to see them as good people.

12. If others mistreat me, I continue to think badly of them.

13. When someone disappoints me, I can eventually move past it.

14. When things go wrong for reasons that can’t be controlled, I get stuck in negative thoughts about it.

15. With time I can be understanding of bad circumstances in my life.

16. If I am disappointed by uncontrollable circumstances in my life, I continue to think negatively about them.

17. I eventually make peace with bad situations in my life.

18. It’s really hard for me to accept negative situations that aren’t anybody’s fault.

19. Eventually I let go of negative thoughts about bad circumstances that are beyond anyone’s control.

I am eager to learn what comes next. Join me? It’s not to late to jump in! It’s all for LOVE.

http://forgivenesschallenge.com/

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Healing the Wounds and Pain: An urgent Invitation

When the injury is colossal, the pain is deep, the woundedness leaves in its wake, an aching that can’t be described. One so aching, holds onto sorrow, sometimes as a mistaken way to sooth self or an excuse to not act, or as a weapon in one’s arsenal against a life seeming unjust. Healing then, is delayed or never begins.

It is hard to forgive. Some things seem yes… unforgiveable. But forgiving is not for the other person, it is for the self. It is hard to allow the brokenness to live inside us, to fully feel its sting, embrace the heartbreak so we employ resentment in order to not fully feel the overwhelming sorrow. Holding onto the wound with anger and resentment doesn’t exact revenge or damage the “other;” it harms the self. And because it is so toxic, consciously or not, we push it out and onto other people.

Resentment initially seems easier. And we feel justified in our pain when it is insulated with resentment. It appears easier to hold fast to it and to use it to want, demand or exact revenge. Wanting revenge, and even exacting it, while it seems warranted and justified, doesn’t heal anyone. Not the one it is aimed at, and certainly not the one who holds its poison in their body. Resentment, in fact, it makes the other more defensive, more sure of their position.

Hurt people hurt people. Wounded people wound other people. People who harbor self-loathing, whether conscious or not, lash out at others. They have to find others to blame or others to project onto and to deem inferior to self. They need a target for their projections (undesirable or dark things that go unacknowledged in self heaped on another in order to distance self from one’s own shadow.)

Without an open door to confession, the guilty must hold tightly in darkness and unconsciousness, their own suspicions about themselves (as a lost soul) and their guilt and contribution in the spread of harm or evil. They can’t bear to look at their own ugliness. And when it is pointed out to them, they must push against the accusers and against acknowledging it to avoid and survive. The guilty push down their suspicions about their own guilt or contribution to the spread of harm or evil, and then push it out and into the already toxic ecosystem that is built up from stirring in a little evil here and there. (Oh yes, the guilty know somewhere inside that they are guilty; the insides always know.) A person may appear indifferent or defensive but it covers fear and self loathing. Besides, when you’re already a goner, what’s a little more evil? And a little more? So attacking is not effective for it makes a perpetrator more defensive.

And that’s true of all of us. We all have those defense mechanisms of self denial, projection and repression into the unconscious or suppression of our guilt to the subconscious. We all do things we regret. We all have that dark shadow as well as the bright, and it’s either already in play or waiting to pounce. The shadow is our woundedness, a collection of our injuries, insults, our hurts, and the ways in which we feel unloved. When we feel unloved and inadequate, the more someone is beloved, the more our own unloved self becomes apparent to us and demands our attention. The more the unloved self is fed, the more destructive it becomes. The answer is to take responsibility for all of it. Not just the shadow of self, but the world’s shadow. When you take responsibility for all the hurt, harm, evil and shadow in the world, you gain power. And the power to do something about it. Begin with self and branch out from there. Then do both at the same time– the micro and macro worlds.

It’s not that our anger isn’t justified. People may indeed be guilty of deliberate harm. But a lot of it is not deliberate. Especially our own capacity to hurt others. It may not be part of our immediate awareness. But our job is to find out. Because, when we are unaware of our own capacity to harm, we attack— but attacking is not going to bring about a confession. Forgiveness might.

Attacking the methods, the result or the means and exposing the harm or evil perpetuated and released into the ecosystem, is a better idea than the poison of personal resentment. Making aware those who are ignorant, indifferent, or even complicit in the spread of harm or evil better educated about responsibility and stewardship is a win for everybody.

I have joined the Forgiveness Project with Desmond Tutu. Not because I am convinced about forgiving, or even capable of it. But because I want to examine forgiveness more closely, to understand it and how it is possible in some cases that seem unforgiveable. It want to know it, test it, try it out and see, not if it is effective on the other person, but if it makes me a better person.
 
The project launches today. want to join me?
 
 

 
Desmond Tutu invites you to:
The 30 Day Forgiveness Challenge:  http://forgivenesschallenge.com/
 
 
 

All Donations currently are being used to publish the “Words and Violence” Compendium, a project with more than 600 pages of resources about bullying with words– from the playground to the media. The Compendia will be shared with schools, childrens’ programs, educators and other supporters.

“Words and Violence” studies the impact of words when used as weapons to promote violence.

The work is dedicated to Michael Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer.

 

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No one else on Earth bears the pain of a Michael Jackson fan

This post is a combination of answers to recent letters from Michael Jackson fans. But it speaks to all the fans. In fact, this blog came about because I wrote a review of the film “This Is It,” that published, and fans began to contact me. They asked questions, they poured out their hearts; they told me tender and sensitive things I can’t repeat. It seemed at first as though their grief was disproportionate, and odd in some ways because I heard the same stories over and over about peoples’ newborn curiosity about Jackson– from people who were never fans. Many began to ask me to speak about my perceptions of the Jackson phenomenon that certainly took many forms.

There was Jackson himself, the enigma that nobody seemed to figure out, the icon that confused and bruised ingrained and culturally embedded sensibilities. His disarming seemed deliberate. His work carried a message that when decoded, revealed a man on fire– a man determined to change the world using his art, work, life and body to do it.

There was the phenomenon of the fans. They were not just grieving but they were inconsolable. They were showing signs of post trauma and of a spiritual emergency and it was not just a few individuals, it was a mass of them.

Then there was the compelling intrigue of it all and the curiosity of it. It beckoned in a way that was for more than simple curiosity or even compelling desire  to “figure this out.” What in the world was happening? How did this all come about? Why were fans so loyal, so intractably devoted and angry?

So began the study. The fans told me of their “Michaeling” which meant that they were watching his work on Youtube, reading his books, scanning the Internet for all things Michael Jackson. They were obsessed. When a well known figure dies, they become the center of focus for awhile because that’s natural but in time the intensity trails off… Not so with Michael Jackson. They were “Michaeling,” they told me– which they interpreted as compulsively seeking him out on the Internet– in videos and articles, buying his books, CDs and DVDs. They began collecting not just his work, but information. And it is still the case for many even 5 years later.

For me, the study has been an incredible journey with the discovery of all facets of an artist and from many viewpoints developed and honed over a lifetime; it’s been fascinating. “Michaeling,” though, has come to mean something else to me since I began to learn of it and through it 5 years ago. And I hope my definition goes viral like a scandal on fire because “Michaeling” has come to demonstrate to me, how fans have rallied to humanitarian causes in the name and memory of “Michael Jackson.” Schools have been funded, a children’s home been built, and a million trees planted– and that is only the beginning. That is true “Michaeling.” I hope someday the dictionary defines “Michaeling” as philanthropy in the name and honor of Michael Joe Jackson.

So many of the fans have turned their grief into action. And they have done it to honor a man who quietly did the same all his life. Something I’ve read over and over is “I am a different person. Michael Jackson changed me.”

I think the pain is so great for fans because the world is still so cruel to “Michael Jackson,” in name and in memory. It’s a bitter irony that it’s the fans who have taken the time and had the interest to research court records, studied what people said, looked into the backgrounds of those who accused and prosecuted him. They know that Michael was set up and that the first accusation of harming children came from a man who was mentally ill and wanted Michael to bankroll his career change from dentist to Hollywood screen writer. The second accusation came from a woman the jury saw as unglued, disjointed, with issues of entitlement and who had coached her children into assisting with other extortions where she received a payout. They know the scope of the corruption in this case and it takes their breath away. They have learned that Michael Jackson was seen as everybody’s benefactor and banker. The fans have studied and the fans know.

Nobody but fans have really researched this because the media saw a juicy story that could not be ignored and would not be challenged because it was so lucrative– the most famous and visible superstar in the world accused of sexual exploitation of children! It doesn’t get more juicy than that! Nothing sells like scandal! And the tabloids and tabloid journalists and tabloid TV milked it for all it was worth – bringing bags of cash and offering it to anyone who would tell them a salacious story for instant cash. Some of those offers were multiple times the target’s annual salary. So what’s more attractive– telling the truth or enough money to buy you a new house? In a sense, they are all victims too.

And the mainstream media jealous of the money the tabs were making followed in their path and did exactly the same thing. They learned that a “Michael Jackson” story sells. Any Michael Jackson story, whether true or not. When your editor realizes that a single individual can double and triple sales and circulation, reporters are going to be sent out to “get the story.” And what do they do when there is no story? Go back to their editor empty handed? No, they just take a piece of innocuous information and make something up. It’s evil. Pure and simple. No stuttering, no excuses. It was evil and the evil was rampant.

There’s even a name for it. When hysterical evil infects a society, it is like a virus that spreads to everyone involved or observing. The Indigenous people knew this phenomenon and even have a name for it– Windigo or Wetiko. It truly is a psychological madness that grips everyone downwind of it and in the case of Michael Jackson, because he was so famous and so beloved, that was the whole world because the world was downwind.

The pain that fans feel is not just the loss of “their idol” as the most guilty of those exploitive reporters has insisted and shouted and written in service to perpetuating it as a cultural meme. He’s not their idol, not in the way that slur toward the fans is meant. And not in the way most mean that or use that word.

Jackson fans do admire him for the way he retained dignity and strength in the face of an evil nobody else on earth has had to endure. And they feel the loss of a man who was tortured for no reason, who was innocent (confirmed by a jury that actually EXAMINED the evidence– or in this case lack of evidence,} and claimed by many who personally knew him, were close to him, and trusted him.) Jackson loved children but not in the way the virus of evil has captured imaginations and spread salacious and unfounded information. He championed children’s causes around the world, donated medical equipment in every city he toured, gave millions to charity (sometimes all the earnings from an entire tour,) quietly paid medical bills for parents who couldn’t afford them, found organ donors for some who would die without them, and even paid for funerals in cases where families didn’t have the money. He didn’t build Neverland for himself; he built it as a gift to the thousands of poor, sick and inner-city children who visited the ranch some attended by his staff in his absence because he was working elsewhere.

He’s not an “idol” but he is to be admired– a deeply religious and spiritual man who stood tall and faced unprecedented mocking and bullying as he found himself in the perfect storm at a time in human history where scandal was more attractive than integrity. Where humans were stuck in an evolutionary phase where it was more lucrative to behave as adolescents in a juvenile way and where scandal was raging in the body politic like hormones in puberty. The fans know that we humans are better than this and it was Michael himself who attempted to tell us all. They hurt because the world got it so wrong and has done nothing to correct it.

The pain is deep because it is all so unjust, the lies and unexamined assumptions and racism continue to this day, and they feel helpless to change it and find the whole situation sometimes just hopeless. It’s the virulent sting of powerlessness. The infection is too widespread, the wound too gaping. It is because their fellow humans (humanity) is consciously or not, caught up in it as well. And on top of that injury is the insult that Michael is gone.

It’s not that he is the fans’ “idol” or even their “angel” though some of the more sentimental individuals may feel that way (puberty and delayed puberty or addiction to drama and adrenalin will do that.) But it is more the archetype of the martyr– someone who dies for a cause. Someone who gives his life for a cause, for something noble and just and magnificent. Someone who throws down his body to serve his fellow man. It is that the martyrdom is not yet revealed nor is the cause clear. And therein lies the excruciating torment of incessant injustice heaped on grief.

In the midst of their sorrow is hidden the ghost of humanity and innocence lost for no reason that does not represent evil. The truth and reason live in the future while there are those who live now to suppress it, who insist on calling the fans “crazy” for the same reason they exploited Michael in the first place– for their own gain. Facing the truth of that is a living hell. Who would invite that? Admitting that to self is impossible because it would make clear one’s own complicity in the spread of evil upon humanity. So admitting it to the world is out of the question.

The truth of the matter is far greater than it first appears, far more vast than grasped in a glance, more archetypal than is realized. It is not just about Michael Jackson; it’s about many, many things that involve all humanity. Thus the size of the pain for fans of Michael Jackson. And no one else on this Earth bears it.
 
 

All Donations currently are being used to publish the “Words and Violence” Compendium, a project with more than 600 pages of resources about bullying with words– from the playground to the media. The Compendia will be shared with schools, childrens’ programs, educators and other supporters.

“Words and Violence” studies the impact of words when used as weapons to promote violence.

The work is dedicated to Michael Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer.

 

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Singing Earth’s song on Earth Day

April 22 is Earth Day.

Singing Earth’s song is more urgent than ever.
If we don’t work together to make that change immediately, there will be no future for Earth.
It is that serious. It is that urgent.

1960s… Rachel Carson tried to warn us with “Silent Spring” in the sixties.
1970s… Green Peace tried to warn us in the seventies.
NASA’s Blue marble photo was released in 1972 and consciousness shifted from the human ego to the fragile and precious blue planet.
1980s… In the eighties, we saw the Earth Justice movement adding legislation to prevent smog, pollution and chemical disasters like the incident at Bhopal and the nuclear meltdown in Chernobyl.

1990s… And in 1995, Michael Jackson joined the chorus:

This is where we are now. We’ve had 60 years to fix it. Now it’s really broken.

We have to fix this NOW. Here’s the simple one minute cure:

Some ways you can sing along:

 

Charter for Compassion… http://www.charterforcompassion.org
Pachamama Alliance… http://www.pachamamaalliance.org  See: “Awakening the Dreamer”
Green Peace… http://www.greenpeace.org
Sierra Club… http://www.sierraclub.org
Earth Justice http://earthjustice.org
Animal Legal Defense Fund… http://aldf.org
Union of Concerned Scientists… http://www.ucsusa.org
World Wildlife Fund… http://worldwidlife.org
Humane Society… http://humansociety.org

 

Adding the “Sustainable World Coalition: http://swcoalition.org/
(Order the book- it’s a great resource)
 
Here’s another way you can help the planet: Help us create a more humane narrative (story)

 

The 3rd edition of “Words and Violence,” the first ever program dedicated to Michael Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer, founded in 2009 after Michael’s passing with contributions by fans and admirers, journalists and artists, released its 3rd edition August 29, 2013. The 3rd edition featured “Performance Arts as communicator and change agent.” It asks media, theater, film and television to “make that change” by closely examining their responsibility to the culture and to humanity in favor of its evolution, not devolution. It charges those who contribute to the performing arts to become stewards of a more humane narrative (story) on this planet.

Words and Violence features scores of contributors from all walks of life and this project examines bullying in all its incarnations from the playground to the tabloids to the mortuary.

The 4th edition, to be released August 29, 2014 will examine the bigger picture, in fact its focus is the biggest picture: How we “BULLY THE PLANET.”

If you would like to support the work of this body of work about bullying in all its forms that has grown to more than 600 pages of resources for 140 countries and is hosted at Voices Education Project, please make a generous donation. A donation made for “Earth Day” will go toward publishing a 40 page compendium of resources for schools, civic organizations, journalists and educators.

All Donations currently are being used to publish the “Words and Violence” Compendium, a project with more than 600 pages of resources about bullying with words– from the playground to the media. The Compendia will be shared with schools, childrens’ programs, educators and other supporters.

“Words and Violence” studies the impact of words when used as weapons to promote violence.

“Words and Violence” studies the impact of words and images when used as weapon or as healer. The work is dedicated to Michael Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer.

 

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If you’re a Jackson, the Rules are Different

Why are the rules different when you’re a Jackson? They were different for Michael; they were different for Janet; they are different for Katherine; they are different for the Jackson brothers.

Why is that?

When you’re a Jackson and a piece of American history, American music royalty, an evolutionary and revolutionary for race relations, the first musicians to address social justice issues, the first child protégé and product of pride for African Americans– why are the ruled different for you?

If you’re a female celebrity why are the rules different for you than they are for males of your same genre?

And if you are female and black, and dare to be openly sexy or sexual, why is that the end of the world? Why does that so offend people?

Are you offended by female nudity?

Are you offended by breasts?

This is a photo of Lady Liberty by French painter Eugene De Lacroix

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 

 

Offended?
 

This was a little racy wasn’t it? Offended here?
 


 
 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 
 

 

Remember this? Offended?
 

 

 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 

Then why all this?
 

 

 

 


 
Just sayin’…

 

From the Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emma-gray/janet-jackson-wardrobe-malfunction-super-bowl-justin-timberlake_b_4698190.html?utm_hp_ref=celebrity&ir=Celebrity

 
 

All Donations currently are being used to publish the “Words and Violence” Compendium, a project with more than 600 pages of resources about bullying with words– from the playground to the media. The Compendia will be shared with schools, childrens’ programs, educators and other supporters.

“Words and Violence” studies the impact of words when used as weapons to promote violence.

The work is dedicated to Michael Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer.

 

Read the rest of this entry...

Still Healing the World again

“I read the other day some verses written by an eminent painter which were original and not conventional. Always the soul hears an admonition in such lines, let the subject be what it may. The sentiment they instill is of more value than any thought they may contain. To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men–that is genius. Speak your latent conviction, and it shall be universal sense; for always the inmost becomes the outmost-and our first thought is rendered back to us by the trumpets of the Last Judgment. Familiar as the voice of the mind is to each, the highest merit we ascribe to Moses, Plato and Milton is that they set at naught books and traditions, and spoke not what men, but what they thought. A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his.

“In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.

“Great works of art have no more affecting lesson for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good humored inflexibility then most when the whole cry of voices is on the other side. Else tomorrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.

“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried. Not for nothing one face, one character, one fact, makes much impression on him, and another none. It is not without pre-established harmony, this sculpture in the memory. The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray. Bravely let him speak the utmost syllable of his confession. We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents. It may be safely trusted as proportionate and of good issues, so it be faithfully imparted, but God will not have his work made manifest by cowards. It needs a divine man to exhibit anything divine. A man is relieved and gay [ joyful (original meaning) ] when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise shall give him no peace. It is a deliverance which does not deliver. In the attempt his genius deserts him; no muse befriends; no invention, no hope.

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connexion of events. Great men have always done so, and confided themselves childlike to the genius of their age, betraying their perception that the Eternal was stirring at their heart, working through their hands, predominating in all their being. And we are now men, and must accept in the highest mind the same transcendent destiny; and not pinched in a corner, not cowards fleeing before a revolution, but redeemers and benefactors, pious aspirants to be noble clay under the Almighty effort let us advance on Chaos and the Dark….

“These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. Society is a joint stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs.

“Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. I remember an answer which when quite young I was prompted to make to a valued adviser who was wont to importune me with the dear old doctrines of the church. On my saying, What have I to do with the sacredness of traditions, if I live wholly from within? My friend suggested,-“But these impulses may be from below, not from above.” I replied, “They do not seem to me to be such; but if I am the devil’s child, I will live then from the devil.” No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature. Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution; the only wrong what is against it. A man is to carry himself in the presence of all opposition as if every thing were titular and ephemeral but he. I am ashamed to think how easily we capitulate to badges and names, to large societies and dead institutions. Every decent and well spoken individual affects and sways me more than is right. I ought to go upright and vital, and speak the rude truth in all ways….

“What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.

“The objection to conforming to usages that have become dead to you is that it scatters your force. It loses your time and blurs the impression of your character. If you maintain a dead church, contribute to a dead Bible Society, vote with a great party either for the Government or against it, spread your table like base housekeepers,-under all these screens I have difficulty to detect the precise man you are. And of course so much force is withdrawn from your proper life. But do your thing, and I shall know you. Do your work, and you shall reinforce yourself. A man must consider what a blindman’s buff is this game of conformity. If I know your sect I anticipate your argument. I hear a preacher announce for his text and topic the expediency of one of the institutions of his church. Do I not know beforehand that not possibly can he say a new and spontaneous word? . . . Well, most men have bound their eyes with one or another handkerchief, and attached themselves to some one of these communities of opinion. This conformity makes them not false in a few particulars, authors of a few lies, but false in all particulars. Their every truth is not quite true. Their two is not the real two, their four not the real four: so that every word they say chagrins us and we know not where to begin to set them right. Meantime nature is not slow to equip us in the prison uniform of the party to which we adhere. We come to wear one cut of face and figure, and acquire by degrees the gentlest asinine expression. There is a mortifying experience in particular, which does not fail to wreak itself also in the general history; I mean “the foolish face of praise,” the forced smile which we put on in company where we do not feel at ease, in answer to conversation which does not interest us. The muscles, not spontaneously moved but moved by a low usurping willfullness, grow tight about the outline of the face, and make the most disagreeable sensation; a sensation of rebuke and warning which no brave young man will suffer twice.

“For non conformity. the world whips you with its displeasure…. It is easy enough for a firm man who knows the world to brook the rage of the cultivated classes. Their rage is decorous and prudent, for they are timid, as being very vulnerable themselves. But when to their feminine rage the indignation of the people is added, when the ignorant and the poor are aroused, when the unintelligent brute force that lies at the bottom of society is made to growl and mow, it needs the habit of magnanimity and religion to treat it godlike as a trifle of no concernment.

“The other terror that scares us from self trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them.

“But why should you keep your head over your shoulder? Why drag about this monstrous corpse of your memory, lest you contradict somewhat you have stated in this or that public place? Suppose you should contradict yourself; what then?

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Out upon your guarded lips! Sew them up with packthread, do. Else if you would be a man speak what you think today in words as hard as cannon balls, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict everything you said today. Ah, then, exclaim the aged ladies, you shall be sure to be misunderstood! Misunderstood! It is a right fool’s word. Is it so bad then to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood…. ” 

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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 A little perspective….

Eric Dyson and Cornell West

Michael Jackson and Grandma

All Donations currently are being used to publish the “Words and Violence” Compendium, a project with more than 600 pages of resources about bullying with words– from the playground to the media. The Compendia will be shared with schools, childrens’ programs, educators and other supporters.

“Words and Violence” studies the impact of words when used as weapons to promote violence.

The work is dedicated to Michael Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer.

 

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Still Healing the world

I watched a man today
on the street
dance for the sheer joy of it
all by himself,
with no embarrassment,
no restraint,
no holding back

and it was the most beautiful thing–
a thing to behold.
He danced because he could,
because the music would not censor him
nor allow hesitation;
nor did the world.

And I thought of Michael Jackson
how he danced with abandonment,
how he thrilled the world,
healed the world,
how he is still healing
a world that even though
he’s gone now
still won’t let him heal.

I watched another man today
dance with light,
and thought of one who came before
who also danced with light,
how he let it pour in and through–
a different kind of light,
the light within.

I remembered how he danced it,
shared it with abandonment,
and how fiercely he loved
to thrill the world
to heal the world
to dance with light
to LIGHT the world
all for LOVE.

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Michael Jackson still healing the world:

Singers at the United Nations

All Donations currently are being used to publish the “Words and Violence” Compendium, a project with more than 600 pages of resources about bullying with words– from the playground to the media. The Compendia will be shared with schools, childrens’ programs, educators and other supporters.

“Words and Violence” studies the impact of words when used as weapons to promote violence.

The work is dedicated to Michael Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer.

 

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Heal the World: March 22 is World Water Day

Thirteen million years ago the earth began to form this sacred place. Subterranean springs replenish this well in the earth in the amount of a million and a half gallons per day. The water maintains a year round temperature of 76 degrees.

This is Montezuma Well in Arizona. If you look closely, you will see Montezuma’s fortress high up in the canyon wall.

As we speak, the 13 Indigenous Grandmothers are holding ceremony at Montezuma’s well in the desert. They are accompanied by 300 women who are “Titans ” interested in healing this planet.

World Water Day is Saturday, March 22 and on that day many elders, tribes and Earth stewards will gather and hold ceremony that includes setting intention for clearing the waters and will include praying over and for the waters.

The United Nations has declared this day World Water Day in hopes of bringing attention to the state of the waters of Earth and their part in energy and sustainability. Without water, human life can not continue.

Wherever you are on Earth on this day, please take a few moments to do ceremony and pray for all the waters of the Earth and for more awareness of human stewardship of this precious resource. You might want to play Earthsong or smudge or send a prayer to the heavens with drumming. However you choose to participate, the Earth thanks you.

While not everyone agrees with Dr. Emoto’s work with water, we know that intention and energy affects the ecosystem. Water, it seems, reacts to human intention. All is energy. The highest form of energy is LOVE.

Please do it all for LOVE.

Here is some information on water, the 13 grandmothers and on World Water Day.

How thoughts affect water:

United Nations World Water Day:

http://www.unwater.org/worldwaterday/about-world-water-day/world-water-day-2014-water-and-energy/en/

Thirteen Grandmothers:

http://overgrowthesystem.com/in-the-name-of-the-mother-international-council-of-13-indigenous-grandmothers-hold-womens-gathering/

Earth Song:

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The New Newsweek (almost)

I knew that Newsweek was going to publish a tribute issue to Michael Jackson and I got the word that it had been released. I had hopes for the reporter obviously new to the “Michael Jackson story.” After a rocky and schizophrenic confusing moment, it seemed there was an authentic interest in what was “important for his legacy.” I cheered and held my breath hoping the real Jackson, as I had come to know, would finally be revealed.

I got a message it was published and on its way to the stands and I went out with great anticipation to get my copy. I began reading a piece from the reporter who seemed momentarily anyway, a convert from the usual tabloid-informed brain to a reasonable and open mind and mindset about Jackson.

The story I read was accurate and laudable. I then began reading the magazine from the beginning… I was encouraged by the accolades published by those people who actually knew Michael Jackson– the people who count in re-counting his personality, generosity and genius. Some of the material was truly inspiring.

This magazine was turning out to be a worthy tribute– finally. And it was until– alas– the last entry.

It seemed that despite a few minor misinformation glitches, there was to be no snarky commentary about his appearance, race, skin color or the tabloid myth of his other-than-paternal-and-mentoring interest in children.  (What sick child in a hospital or anywhere for that matter wouldn’t be excited and inspired by the most famous man and entertainer in the world coming to see him or her?) They all seem to forget the man was found innocent on charges 14 times– 14 times “not guilty” rang out. Nobody gets off on 14 charges if truly guilty unless they are empty charges and there is no case as many have said of Jackson’s trial. The charges were piled on by a district attorney known to pile on charges hoping something will stick and who had a vendetta against Jackson and who didn’t like minorities in his elite, premiere and very white city. And he certainly didn’t like a black entertainer owning property that he and his real estate cohorts wanted for a vineyard in the winery-peppered foothills of the Santa Ynez Mountaings. Hurray, I thought and congratulations to Newsweek for a very close to completely unbiased issue of Newsweek featuring a man about whom nobody seems to know the truth or care to know it.

But as I read the very last article, this stellar story and publication of the real Michael Jackson was not to be. It seems they can’t help themselves– they just have to go there despite profusely documented extortion, exoneration, and media malfeasance. “Finding Neverland” made snarky references to Jackson and his life citing his journey “from the most adorable of kiddie performers to the most ‘sinister superstar.'”

And “as a singer, Jackson was too much of a chameleon”(instead of versatile and widely talented) which reduced him to simply just a ‘giant’ in the shadow of great ‘demigods’ like Sinatra and Ray Charles,” say the authors of the final article. Is one a competing musician and singer?

Before I continue, let me inform you that the writer who assisted David Gates (is this the same David Ashworth Gates who formed the band “Bread?”) was Raina Kelley, a black woman who is so outraged about race and racial bias that she has written about it everywhere she has worked or contributed. It’s not that the outrage isn’t warranted given the history of racism in America and its mythology about black men (actually mentioned in the story.) It’s that she has a half white-half black son whom when he was born, she initially wished he would get darker and look black instead of Caucasian like her husband so he wouldn’t be mistaken as white. She feared the eventual scenario of a white young man kindly helping an elderly black woman across the street– that everybody would think a stranger rather than his mother.

But why the outrage against Jackson and the racial hate in this article? Is it the same sentiment that once swept the black population when Jackson began to look more white than black that labeled him a traitor to his race? Is it the mythology of the “bleaching cream” that was supposed to make him more attractive to whites? (His attractiveness to whites is even mentioned in this article and is viewed as “contrived.”) Nobody apparently researched his fans and their history and certainly nobody asked the well behaved and articulate ones. Nobody bothered to see the documentary about his trial or speak to its filmmakers about how the fans felt about Jackson.

Between them, authors Ms. Kelley and Mr. Gates managed to Make Jackson a hermaphrodite or asexual: “when he was a grown man his apparent lack of adult sexuality;” and “sexually unassertive;” and “never had the sexual credibility of a James Brown or a Wilson Pickett, in part because of his high-pitched voice, in part because he never seemed to fully inhabit himself– whoever that was.”

Jackson fans all over the world might disagree with those words as they found his sexuality thrilling. It was the kind of sexuality that was bold at times, hinted at others, was often sexually aggressive and was mixed with a bold tenderness that thrilled women. It worked with his wife Lisa Marie Presley who called him proficient in bed (though not in those words) and who loved him very much and stood by him until the concierge doctors showed up. And there was his second wife, Debbie Rowe, with whom he had children. Neither of those women complained about his “lack of sexuality.” In fact, Donald Trump observed when Lisa Marie and Michael were married, they spend a great deal of their time inside in their hotel room and emerged with the glow of newlyweds that couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

They write that much of what Jackson achieved seems now “baldly symbolic” and “acts of appropriation and mastery if not outright aggression– growing up in the Midwest to marry Elvis’ daughter, and acquire the Beatles Catalogue.” (Would those comments be made about an extremely successful white man?)

And of course, they referenced his displaying Prince II from the balcony of the German hotel (“dangled to the horror and fascination of fans”) as once again, the tabloid meme makes it into a “legitimate” magazine like Newsweek. And that act that was supposed to be a private moment between him and fans begging to get a glimpse of his new baby was also symbolic to the writers: “seemed like a ritual attempt to dispose of his younger self.”

Journalists can’t have it both ways– you can’t “dispose of your younger self” and live a Peter Pan existence! Which is it oh great media gods?

The magazine cites Nelson George as his biographer. While it could have been worse, George is not the ultimate authority and his book is not unbiased. Michael did not like him. In a meeting in a hotel room with Janet, Michael came to pick up his sister for an event and George was in the room. George introduced himself and Michael replied “I know who you are.” Michael proceeded to dismiss him as royalty would dismiss a commoner, and collected his sister. (There is a question raised whether this meeting was with George or Bego.) At any rate, Michael respected people who told the truth. No one at Newsweek bothered to seek out Joe Vogel, the latest professional author and biographer, nor director Spike Lee who just put together a biographical film.

And there is this– allowed to leak into this article in part by a black woman: “he performed his dance of death as a central figure in America’s long racial horror show.” “A messianic superstar” (Jackson never saw himself that way nor has anyone who ever personally knew him or worked with him called him “messianic,” but quite the opposite– as polite, respectful, generous and gracious to everyone he ever worked with.)

But it gets worse: “he neutered himself racially too: His hair went from kinky to straight (whose didn’t in those days?) his lips from full to thin, his nose from broad to pinched and his skin from dark to a ghastly pallor.” And nowhere in this article is his Vitiligo or Lupus Erythematosus mentioned as the cause of his skin pigment and scarring problems.

While citing the quote by Anna Kisselgoff that he was a “virtuoso” and called a genius and a “natural talent” by everyone who worked closely with him, this article calls him an “artificer” or someone who is contrived, constructed or made up.

Am I the only one who reads more than a little Shadenfreude and projected shadow in this article? A black women who is upset that her son isn’t black enough and if it is the same David Ashworth Gates, singer and songwriter with the band “Bread” and it seems likely, for one of the authors of an actually truthful and complimentary article is Jeff Ashworth. Are they related? Why are there no bios of these authors?

At the end of the article, the authors wonder if Jackson was excited about re-mythologizing himself in “This Is It.” And end with a weird “Ask him sometime if you see him” remark.

This article isn’t all bad, but it’s definitely schizophrenic and full of unexamined assumptions by the authors.

It’s really too bad because the rest of the magazine is more truthful, factual and objective and avoids speculation, personal projections and tabloid-informed opinions. It does, however rehash old stuff published long ago instead of talking with those now, who worked with Michael then. There are a couple of exceptions and the magazine while reduced to mediocrity by the final article filled with innuendo and speculation that reflects the authors instead of Jackson, it is worth grudgingly collecting because of some of the other accurate and interesting entries.

Artist David Nordahl, interviewed by Jeff Ashworth who isn’t completely without previous tabloid taint but who looks to have made an honest attempt at neutrality in writing this work, tells of Michael Jackson’s great dream of a museum of his life and work– for the real story of Michael Jackson is hidden in plain sight and Michael knew that one day it would become visible in a museum as mass consciousness evolved to understand and decode it.

It seems a museum was really important to him and he saw a museum as his true legacy. It apparently meant so much to him that as he tried to navigate the demands on him in preparations for “This Is It” and even with all that angst, he found the time and energy to call Nate Giorgio and David Nordahl to tell them he thought he found the perfect location for his museum. Hopefully the right ears are listening to that, his fondest, long-term and apparently last wish. A friend of more than 20 years would know.

But no magazine yet has nailed the real Michael Jackson. And nobody has bothered to talk with knowledgeable fans and biographers who might enlighten a researcher but that might take real work instead of cobbled together halfhearted attempts with intentions to sell magazines more than intentions of truth. That work is yet to be released.

Too bad your last story couldn’t have been something other than a tabloid rehash. How very, very sad. But how naive to hope for something lofty when Newsweek merged with The Daily Beast and is now the Newsweek Daily Beast Company.

Nice try Newsweek. Close but not quite.

 

 

If you decide to write to Newsweek, please be factual and polite and congratulate them on what they did right as well as what they didn’t do correctly.

Newsweek Magazine:
newsweek@emailcustomerservice.com

Contact: http://magazine-directory.com/Newsweek.htm

 

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Today is Int’l Women’s Day: MJ and Mean Girls

Today is International Women’s Day. The Dalai Lama and I agree that “the Western woman can save the world.” So, let’s join the movement that empowers women to change the world. But first, we may have to change the “Woman in the Mirror.”

What does Michael Jackson have to do with the “Mean Girl Syndrome?” Everything. The syndrome is actually “relational aggression.” Michael Jackson was the most visible target on Earth of social and relational aggression. A meanness madness that infected a whole culture. Hyper-viral malicious malfeasance.

There are new studies about the nature of relational aggression and what is its impact on society. It’s relational aggression that foments bullying, meanness, lack of empathy and compassion and ultimately threatens life. It is relational aggression turned toward the planet itself that is the manifestation of this meanness on steroids. I believe it’s women who can make the changes warranted to save the world.

Here are some things to ponder on this International Day for Women…

Newest Miss Representation Trailer (2011 Sundance Film Festival Official Selection) from The Representation Project on Vimeo.

 

The History of the United Nations’ International Women’s Day:
http://www.un.org/en/events/womensday/history.shtml

This is from “Thought Catalog” a new media experiment.
Mean Girl Syndrome (“Dog-piling”)

“First of all, what is a Mean Girl? It’s hard to pinpoint an exact definition, but I think most of us can agree on the idea of “Women who use passive-aggressive or outright aggressive tactics to shame, humiliate, ostracize, or hurt other women, often with the intention of making herself look better by comparison.” Mean girls are, in short, bullies who target other women. While it can be difficult to come up with a definition that is both concise and apt for a variety of attitudes and actions, most of us know Mean Girl behavior when we see it — and it would be disingenuous to pretend that we don’t. (Hell, we even have an entire film of the same name for reference, should we need a refresher.)

And though this kind of behavior would often be expected to taper off after the constant, forced proximity of high school is over, there is no secret about its continuation well into adulthood. Hell, there are entire careers forged in being snarky and judgmental about other women — usually celebrity women, who some will argue have agreed to such treatment by choosing to be in the public eye. We are entertained in a visceral, almost WWE-like way by the spectacle of women going after one another, especially in a public forum. To put another woman down, aside from providing the high of righteous indignation and moral superiority, is often very lucrative. Just as in high school, being derisive or outright aggressive towards your fellow woman can bring the kind of social currency that places you atop a hierarchy. When other women fear you because they know that you are to be treaded lightly around, you are deferred to.

There is also, lest we forget, a great social pressure to make ourselves look better in comparison with one another. We are in competition for so many opportunities that are still somewhat limited to us by our gender — whether professional, personal, or social — and it brings out in even the most reasonable person a sense of cutthroat urgency. To put another woman down, to push her farther down one of any number of ladders in life, only makes your climb just that much easier. In the eyes of those in power, in the eyes of other women watching the spectacle, to deride and shame another woman is a palpable positive.

While this occurs every day on a more individual level, it’s hard not to notice the great social waves it can come in on a more broad scale. Look, for example, at the internet (most notably parts of the internet which proudly self-identify as “feminist”) and its recent decision to hate — and I wish there were a word stronger than hate to use here, because it would apply — Taylor Swift. There is no secret about the disdain people feel towards her and her inoffensive brand of wide-eyed girl pop. She doesn’t identify as a feminist, she has played into Madonna/Whore dichotomies in her songs, she is family-friendly, she centers the vast majority of her persona around men and the approval they do or do not give her — she is everything that many women believe you should not be. And while, yes, some of her comments or lyrics have been egregious (such as the ode to slut shaming that is “You Belong With Me”), most of her offenses ostensibly involve living a life that other women do not approve of.

Yet the conversation cannot consist of “Here is what she said that is wrong or uncool, here is why it is wrong or uncool, here is why we should not say those things.” It never can. It has to extend to every minute aspect of her personal life, manner of dress, personal labels, and dating habits. The dogpiling on her has to be extensive, and it has to be petty. We have to show — in articles, in comments, in funny GIFs — just how much we hate her and everything she stands for and exactly why we are not like her and never will be. We must accuse her of setting women back, of making laughable decisions, of being everything she is not supposed to be.

Honestly? I don’t really care for Taylor Swift. I’ve never really enjoyed her music, and I don’t think her obsession with talking about relationships is very interesting after a certain point. Yes, I am open to a discussion about the unethical nature of some of her lyrics, but I don’t think that justifies engaging in what is undeniably Mean Girl behavior towards her on the internet. I don’t think that any woman deserves to be put in the “bad” column and have open season declared on her. I don’t feel that, simply because she has transgressed any number of rules I may have drawn in the sand about the way another person (or, let’s be honest, another woman) should behave, I have the right to bash her ad nauseam to prove my point and remind everyone just how much moral ground I have on her. Most importantly, I don’t see the petty, cruel bashing of aspects of her life unrelated to her tangible misdeeds as somehow totally justifiable or not-Mean Girl simply because they are being performed against Taylor Swift.

To be fair, though, I — like almost every woman, if we’re being honest — have engaged in Mean Girl behavior in my own life. I have been more hard on another woman than I would have been on a man in the same scenario, or have gone too far with my criticisms to drive home a point about how unacceptable I believe her behavior to be. Because within all of us exists a voice (entirely planted by society, but watered nonetheless by us on a regular basis) which tells us that we must be tit-for-tat, that we must prove our superiority, that we must retaliate against perceived offenses by any means necessary. It is the voice which deems it okay to attack another woman repeatedly if we believe she has checked off enough points on a list of behaviors to become “deserving.” It is the voice that says that such a list exists in the first place, or that anyone besides each individual woman gets to decide it for herself.

When I look at the way people talk about Taylor Swift, I see clear Mean Girl actions put under a thin, politicized veil of “doing it for the good of women as a whole.” Hell, I even see men who identify as feminists using some of her commentary to launch dig after dig about every aspect of her life. I can identify it and do my best to distance myself from the kind of behaviors or rhetoric I see used to put her down for any number of reasons. But when it comes to my own life, I often have trouble seeing that I am engaging in these kinds of childish games until it is over, until I have time to look back at the severity I used with a woman that I may not have with a man. Perhaps it would be best, then, before we go after another woman or make a derisive comment about her because we believe — at least on some level — that she is responsible for or indicative of her gender as a whole, to ask ourselves: Are we being Mean Girls?”

What’s the Antidote for “Relational Aggression” (Mean Girl Syndrome)?
Find An accomplished Woman Mentor.

George Washington University School of Business’ Kathy Korman Frey founded the “Hot Mamas” Project
The school has the largest women’s case study library in the country. (I am a case author and was one of the founding case authors.)
http://hotmommasproject.com/

Here’s the case you’ll want to read: https://www.hotmommasproject.org/caseview.aspx?id=615

The Mean Girl Syndrome has to end and the Confident, Professional and Engaging Woman who can change the world must take her place.

What does the “woman in the mirror” have to say about that?

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