Inner Michael » I. Michael Jackson Fans: How do you heal?

I. Michael Jackson Fans: How do you heal?

So as a Michael Jackson fan, how do you heal from this loss? Is there a possibility of any healing, ever when every day something happens to disturb the wound just when it’s beginning to scab over? Just when you thought there was no more to be said? No more lies to be told? How can you heal when it is the anniversary of his death, his birthday or there is an interview scheduled or a court appearance? How do you heal when you are constantly wincing from the sting of it and reeling from another reminder?

How do you manage when the tears that well up have to be choked back because you are not in polite or sympathetic company? When you are exhausted from crying yet again, tears that are not voluntary for a man you never met yet feels closer than family? When you have cried more tears than you can afford and don’t understand why? How do you honor this man in a world that missed the point? How do you quell the anger, the outrage? How do you begin to go on? Where do you get the energy to deal with the combat fatigue? The helplessness? The knowing that you are one of the many (but still the minority) who know the truth about Michael Jackson and the media’s folly?

How do you deal with the skeptics and haters with their vile comments and with relatives who suggest a therapist because it is you they think unbalanced? Or you are called “a crazed or crazy Michael Jackson fan?”

What are you supposed to do when those same lies that set your teeth on edge show up yet one more time on yet another gossipy blog online?  Or when the copy and paste brand of lazy journalism says yet again Michael Jackson died of “an overdose of drugs,” implies he died by his own hand or by a voluntary overuse of prescription drugs? When yet another “journalist” talks about his face as if it was a public exhibit offered only for critique. Or another interview where the interviewer is “leading the witness?” And yet one more time you have to ask how is this at all relevant to who Michael Jackson was or his real legacy?

How are you expected to react when a reputable pharmacy- Walgreens stocks a Halloween mask called “Wacko Jacko?” And when the “Thrill the World” fundraising event comes to your neighborhood and people protest? Or when Michael Jackson’s name is uncovered on a school and the righteously indignant crawl out of the woodwork spewing the same old tabloid party line or he is inducted into a National Dance Hall of Fame and a well meaning but grossly misinformed clergy loudly and publicly protests the “abomination?”

And how are you supposed to take it when the brand Michael Jackson is treated as a joke or as something in bad taste. Or when yet again someone makes snide comments or predictably steers a conversation about Michael deliberately into dark spaces?

How do you get through one more thing that comes up to assault a man you know to be a shining example of humanity and who is no longer here and can’t defend himself? What do you do when friends snort in disgust or say things that make you hold your breath? How are you to fathom that someone who abandoned Michael or who wasn’t there for him during his trial tells an audience what a good friend Michael was? When those in the music business want to siphon just a little more cash from someone whose life they conscripted and scripted while riding his coattails into infamy?

How are you to keep your wits about you when yet one more book about the real Michael Jackson is released by someone who has no idea who Michael Jackson was, what he stood for and who “doesn’t get Michael” by any stretch of imagination and speaks of things that you know are not true or tries to demonstrate something that didn’t even live in Michael’s world? When real pedophiles write one of those books? Or a known sycophant or tabloid reporter does?  How do you swallow the reality that the tabloid reporter with the worst reputation and the most slanderous and salacious pen knowingly did the most damage writes a book and then reports that “the media lies to you?”

How do you bear it when the topic of conversation includes Michael Jackson and his legacy and the conversation steers, or is steered to drugs, accusations, the P-word or his “tragic life?” And not one word of that conversation includes his humanitarian work that was planet-wide? Or that feeling that seems to have taken up permanent residence in your gut is stirred every time there is an upcoming interview or yet another piece that will focus on his “trials,” “problems,” “addictions,” “baby-dangling” and here-we-go-again “crazy fans?”

How do you do this while knowing the man’s heart? When you have been loyal to him for a year, years, decades or your whole lifetime? When you know this man called Michael neither could nor would, harm a child because you clearly see the light in him, the reverence in his touch or you have researched his humanitarian legacy and generous work with children?

And the trial? Oh god, the trial. How in hell are you supposed to handle it when a doctor, (a doctor for god’s sake!) who was administering medicine and medical treatment to Michael claims that Michael killed himself? Or that same incompetent very visibly and with an audacity unparalleled makes a visit to Forest Lawn where Michael is buried? And how are you expected to survive a coming media circus and trial where you know Michael Jackson will be put on trial for his own death?

How do you continue—heck how do you breathe, in a world that treats people this way? That disrespects the dead? That continues to wring a little more cash out of the brand? That scrapes just a little more sensation from a man who was fodder for jokes and finger pointing and deliberately manipulated “breaking news?” Yes, they are breaking the news. They are breaking the world.


How do you continue in a world without Michael’s light? Any light? How do you go on without him?

“There are ways to get there.”



Anger is a hot emotion and it generates lots of heat and flame and fire. Running anger continually through a biological system (the human body) can be damaging and “burn out the wires”  and eventually, the circuitry.” Living in a state of perpetual anger is not healthy. It may seem as if it is a way to attack those who seem so ignorant. But it’s not. It does not hurt them so much as it becomes an internal poison for the person (and body) holding it. It, like acid, eats away at its container. So what are you supposed to do?

Here is where you really need to pay attention:

You are being asked to bear witness to a planetary phenomenon that is part of your calling and a piece of your life mission. You must do it; you simply must. You are here to evolve the species. Yes you. While I don’t like the term “Michael’s Army” because I have been a lifelong anti-war activist, you have been drafted into this morass for a reason. The mission is much greater than you realize. The issue is much bigger than Michael. He asked you to change the world and that is exactly what he meant. The momentum toward change has already begun and you are in the midst of it. You are about the business of creating it. You are part of the plan to create the future.

Your mission is nothing less that to change the heart of the world. To be instrumental in the implementation of a kinder, gentler tomorrow. To employ tactics that increase the humanity and compassion on planet earth. We are moving into an age where humanity is becoming aware of its oneness and as being part of an interconnected web of life. The species is not going to survive nor is the world if something doesn’t change. Our species will not make it if we don’t step from out of the shadow into the light.

“Shadow” is everything that is wrong with the species—the tendency for self destruction, jealousy, envy, greed, entitlement, ignorance, the uncaring and self absorbed lifestyle, competition that wins at the expense of another, the ‘isms’—racism, sexism, Lookism, ageism, tribalism, the lack of responsibility, perpetrating indignity, discounting the humanity of another, treachery, discriminatory religiosity, terrorism, and most egregiously—indifference.

With deep weeping and deep grief that breaks the heart comes an opportunity. Via the deepest and most gritty grieving—the experience of it cracks open the human heart. The aftermath of that kind of grieving softens the heart and that softens the human which softens the humanity. As fans, you are the ones who bear witness in a focused and concentrated way the all too visible foibles of humanity. You can’t and won’t change them unless you first really identify them. You can’t create what you want without knowing what you don’t want. You have to identify the undesirable to create that which is desired. Michael helped you do that. You watched the inhumanity aimed with laser accuracy at a skinny little music man who only wanted to entertain and bring joy and a respite from the real world. Why would he think it important to offer escapism? Do you suppose he knew how painful is the real world? Do you think perhaps he glimpsed something in humanity that it doesn’t recognize in itself? Its own brilliance? Its own salvation? Did he dare to challenge the darkness? Did he dare to ask us to change it? And by changing it to thereby change the world?

Did he show us what salvation would mean, would look like? Did he give us a blueprint for Eden in a place called Neverland? Did he illustrate racial togetherness by uniting the races? Show us agelessness by bringing together and cherishing people of all ages? Did he reveal how to find a meeting of minds for leaders, countries, armies? The uniting of the world through one language—music and the language of love? Did he illustrate with his own body the blending of the races in the collective body of humanity? The ecstasy within the dance of humanity? How to unite multitudes as one voice, one mind, one huge sea of human love? And did he, through the use of his body feature on that canvas and the canvas of the world—the changing face of humanity?

Michael brought his life to the world and gave it an incomparable gift. The fact that the metaphor and the gift is not yet recognized does not change the value of that gift. He marshaled forces for change, showed us how to treat children of the world (and how not to.) By becoming a target, he showed us treachery at its worst and how to withstand it with dignity. He showed how to hate the sin but embrace the sinner.  He certainly got angry but at the same time, he knew and said that bad behavior comes from a deep place of woundedness—a place that craves and needs a little more love. Against suspicion and criticism, he was a healer of minds, and hearts and even of those with illnesses of the body. Michael understood that given the right ecosystem and environment infused with acceptance and with love, people heal from all kinds of things. He even courageously showed us how purity in love can be twisted by minds incapable of it and how dangerous it is when that treachery plays out in the world.

Michael Jackson showed us the dark side of human nature while at the same time showing us the way to the light. He is another way shower who came to teach yet was unappreciated by the students while they were in his classroom. Some don’t even know yet that they were in a classroom. There are indicators that Michael understood his mission. He took it seriously. He steadfastly saw it through with as much stamina as he could muster against insurmountable odds and the darkest of forces.

Michael Jackson, the most famous person in the world, stood center stage and showed us by his presence there alone, exactly what is wrong with humanity. All of the darkness of human nature came at him and swirled around him while he kept on singing his prayers for humanity. He used his voice to ask us to change it, to change the world, to demonstrate the best of humanity and to do it by looking within and lighting our little internal flame knowing that if we did that, the whole world would glow with the brilliance of humanity.

And then he left because he was tired. Because he had done as much as was humanly possible. Because his job was done. And he was taken away in sleep, in the most peaceful way possible. No cancer to slowly eat away at his body or dementia to dissolve his brilliant creative mind. His passing was gentle, kind. He slipped away. I am not saying it was Ok for it to happen then and that way and at the hands of another; I am just looking at “what is” from another perspective. And I am not the architect of the Universe. That doesn’t fall to me to do.

His passing, if it had to be, was gentle and worthy of one so loved—no violence, no struggle; just a quiet passing into the next dimension. The movie This Is It was not the comeback or farewell he had planned but it had more impact than a concert series ever would. No critics got to say how his dancing now compared to then or had the opportunity to critique his performance. Who knows what might have happened? Who knows what might have been said? If history is any indicator, would they have been suddenly kind? Would Michael have been treated with more of the same sophomoric ignorance that characterized much of his life? Maybe we all have been spared, including Michael, and given an unrecognized gift. Michael did his comeback-farewell his way. His way broke hearts and by breaking them opened them, brought more into his magical orbit, spanned yet another generation. So his passing was a gift too, because thousands have re-discovered him and therefore his message. People were weeping in the streets for this man. That says a lot about who he was. People all over the world have undergone a transformation as a direct result of Michael’s passing—some with a spiritual emergency and conversion, some with hearts that have broken and by breaking opened and became softer and more magnanimous human beings, some by finding their voice or mission, some by honoring his legacy with action against the injustices of humanity and the world.

We didn’t want him to leave. We want him back. But we are not in charge. We do not design or implement the greater plan. We do not decide when and how someone should leave us—that is not in our hands. And we don’t ever like being left behind. We would rather have Michael here. Is that selfish or is that Ok? I don’t have those answers, no one does. But I do see the gift in Michael’s passing. Do you know that the wounded healers make the greatest healers? You qualify. So go heal the world.

Michael Jackson left the world a better place because he was here. He set in motion a change through his love of his fans, his relationship with them demonstrated to the world and the legacy that they are—because he was here. It is the fans who can change the world. There are signs of that change everywhere. Michael Jackson fans are part of those legions that will create that changing face of humanity. It is a very real mission and the goal is to change the world and make it a better place exactly as Michael said. He said “you are my legacy” and that is more a declaration than a request.

There are different levels of fans—there are those who saw him as an entertainer, a musician, an icon and who swoon over his image and the stage persona. There are those screaming fans who see him as a sex symbol. There are those who see the legacy, who “get” who Michael was and who wish to carry on his work in the wake of his passing. There are those who understand what he represented and are his advocates. And there are others who see beyond the immediate future all the way to the infinity loop. All backgrounds, all levels of intelligence, all races, ages and abilities. What they have in common is one skinny little Moonwalker who showed them who and how to be.

Michael would want you to complete your grieving in your own way and in your own time but he would remind you that there isn’t forever and there is work to be done. He said that very thing in This Is It. He talked about the planet but he also indicated that he meant humanity and he did that though his work.

Michael did it in a dignified way. He was steadfast. He was resolute. But he did not condone infighting, fighting or war making. There is something to be said for the resolute gentle warrior. He would not want the fans to grieve forever. He would not want their sadness to paralyze them. He would not want their anger to make an already wounded humanity worse by adding more anger and shadow. He would want his fans to be above all that. He would want them to use their voices in an intelligent and strategic way. He would want them to dignify him through their reasonableness and behavior.

Michael did not care for the screaming or for the frenzy. He has said it disturbed him, made him afraid. It doesn’t serve him and it doesn’t serve his legacy to continue it. It makes all the fans look bad and crazy. It gives the media an excuse to dehumanize them, and make them illegitimate. Nobody takes a crazy person seriously. And that is what the media is hoping for. They want the fans to make themselves look foolish or to burn out. They took every opportunity to demonize Michael and now will turn on the fans who are his legacy.

Michael did not change the world by screaming at his enemies, by wailing his fate or flailing at imaginary demons. He steadfastly spoke his message over and over allowing it to speak for itself and for him. He did not point fingers or divide and conquer within his ranks; he unified. Michael was a collaborator. There are things that are being done in Michael’s name or with his name connected that do not serve Michael, his fans or his legacy. And they certainly do not serve the world or make it a better place; they make it a bitter place.

Michael might prefer that we all take our sadness and anger and convert it into action. Michael silently and in a dignified manner went about the business of his humanitarian work and peacemaking. He let his deeds speak for him. When he got angry he protested the injustice with action or with music. He did not incite riots or use inflammatory language or judge with condemnation. Michael did not fight fire with fire—that is a scorched earth policy. That is about as effective as the MAD policy of the cold war years when the weapons and the world was one button away from oblivion. MAD stand for mutually assured destruction. That is when the only tactic and outcome is doomsday. Michael fought with love: not a sappy kind of love but a steadfast love that called people out in a dignified way. He frankly stated how he felt about what was done to him. He did not lose it. He did not shout down his enemies. He took the stage and loved—fiercely. His voice was his lyrics. His song was the means of delivery. He used that kind of love that calls them out with a tough love that stands as a mirror and says—“look here; do you like what you see?” Michael illustrated and demonstrated. And he did it with determination and dignity. His fans, if they are truly his legacy, will follow in those footsteps. No one else can. They should consider themselves the changing face of humanity. Want to change the world in honor of Michael, in Michael’s name, as his legacy? Demonstrate to the world with dignity: this is what it looks like.


  1. Jan said . . .

    Beautiful, as always, Rev. B – Change the world!

    Posted November 9, 2010 at 7:53 pm | Permalink
  2. karen said . . .

    Thank you. Very well said. Tears once again.

    Posted November 9, 2010 at 8:12 pm | Permalink
  3. Jennifer said . . .

    “There can be no transformation of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion.”
    – Carl Jung

    Posted November 9, 2010 at 11:13 pm | Permalink
  4. Niamh said . . .

    These past few days have been hard. I felt myself falling again, truly falling. And this post, your words, have uplifted me again. These are the words we all need to hear right now. Thank you for reminding us to focus on the goal, not the pain. To make Michael proud, to change the world. Because I really believe we can. Love to all.

    Posted November 10, 2010 at 2:36 am | Permalink
  5. June said . . .

    These words were recited during a Michael video; they seem fitting here: Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently; they are not fond of rules and have no respect for the status quo, you can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, about the only thing you could not do is ignore them because they change things, they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. I do not know of the author, but love the message.

    Posted November 10, 2010 at 4:19 am | Permalink
  6. gertrude said . . .

    Reverend Barbara I think the proof that you are writing exactly what you are supposed to be writing is how very helpful it is. “Demonstrate to the world with dignity.” This is the example Michael set, not necessarily an easy one to follow when one is in pain, but of course how much greater was his pain, and he did this anyway. Everyone always remarks on what a child he remained, but as that child he was so much more grown up than those remarking on that. “and a child shall lead them.” I’m thinking this prophecy has come true, and the child is Michael and if we are smart, we will be children following his lead. To Neverland?

    Posted November 10, 2010 at 4:33 am | Permalink
  7. admin said . . .

    This was actually a narration by Richard Dreyfuss for television that paid homage to iconic twentieth century geniuses: Albert Einstein, Bob Dylan, Martin Luther King, Jr., Richard Branson, John Lennon (with Yoko Ono), Buckminster Fuller, Thomas Edison, Muhammad Ali, Ted Turner, Maria Callas, Mahatma Gandhi, Amelia Earhart, Alfred Hitchcock, Martha Graham, Jim Henson (with Kermit the Frog), Frank Lloyd Wright and Pablo Picasso. A videographer adapted it for You Tube for Michael Jackson. The original is on You Tube and the adapted one is here. I love it too. ~Rev. B.

    Posted November 10, 2010 at 4:53 am | Permalink
  8. admin said . . .

    Posted November 10, 2010 at 4:55 am | Permalink
  9. Simona said . . .

    These words were hardly ever as vital as of these very last few days of madness, shadows, screams and anger. Thank you for trying so wonderfully to soothe, much L.O.V.E.

    Posted November 10, 2010 at 1:13 pm | Permalink
  10. malcy said . . .

    I don’t know how you do it. Putting into words exactly my sentiments concerning MJ’s death. Tears in my eyes and a constriction in my chest on reading your post. Thank for your words.

    Posted November 10, 2010 at 3:13 pm | Permalink
  11. Jeanne said . . .

    Crying so hard I can’t breathe this provoked so much emotion. This video, your words Barbara. I know why Michael wanted to do film next . It is a gift to strike emotions like this. And I am so happy that you Barbara are using your gift for changing the world to make it a better place. I celebrate your love for humanity and glad to know you and your work. Through each of our journeys we have been called to action. Who recycles now? I do. Who puts the stop sign up and refuses to listen when people carelessly gossip? I do. Who looks for the light now? I do. Who has changed? We all did. Making that change to stop existing and instead start living, knowing we can really get there. Love is enough for us growing. These words were not just songs to groove to yet a very important message from a very gifted messenger. If it took a very severely broken heart to open, then so be it It is worth the pain. You again spoke truth with your gift. This kind of pain is there for a reason. Something good can come from something bad thank God. Thank you Michael. Thank you Barbara. Thank you all, you showed up right along with me. We can heal and the world can too. It’s never too late.

    Posted November 10, 2010 at 8:20 pm | Permalink
  12. Susan T said . . .

    Dear Rev. Barbara,
    You have expressed so achingly beautifully what Michael is to the world and how we, individually, can begin to heal and move forward and BE the change we so desperately need in our world. I cried throughout the whole piece (you always make me cry) but it was reading your feelings about the way he died that brought some comfort to my aching heart. He endured so much pain in his life. He deserved a peaceful, painless transition to spirit. No one gets to pick their time or manner to depart. It doesn’t make his loss any less difficult (or senseless to we mortals) but I know in my heart that as I heal and move forward as one of his emissaries for change that we will grow spiritually and thereby become closer to HIS spirit.
    If you’ve not already done so, Barbara, you should consider writing your own book about the REAL Michael Jackson. Your incredible writing is without peer. If anyone could create an unforgettable documentary on his life, you could.
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’ve got lots of shadow work to do but I never would have recognized it without Michael, and you!
    Love and blessings, peace and light!

    Posted November 11, 2010 at 1:07 am | Permalink
  13. Michelle said . . .

    These words are SO true. We must change the world like Michael told us to! Carry on his legacy for years to come!

    Posted November 11, 2010 at 1:24 am | Permalink
  14. Grace said . . .

    Beautifully written! And as usual, captures exactly my sentiments!

    Posted November 11, 2010 at 4:32 am | Permalink
  15. lmat said . . .

    So very much of what I’ve read in recent days feels like hammer blows with every word. Anger has a way of draining the soul of energy; it sits there and warps the heart and mind. I needed to hear Rev. Barbara’s words to clear away the confusion and even the bit of fear that had settled inside. With a deep breath I find Michael again, a clearer mind and renewed faith. The vision of Michael’s leaving our world is softer and kinder now. And, yes, he deserved that way of passing. His quiet exit unleased an explosion of love, grief and change that is unlike anything our shrinking world has ever experienced. I am proud to be a part of his legacy..very proud. It’s an honor.

    Posted November 11, 2010 at 4:46 am | Permalink
  16. emjai bryant said . . .

    Let Michael’s light shine from within yourelf and help others and GIVE as much as possible. Carry on because it’s o.k. to feel this way. As Michael would say “you are not alone.”

    Posted November 11, 2010 at 7:24 am | Permalink
  17. admin said . . .

    Pain is not an indicator of loyalty to Michael, nor is it an indicator of his presence or his abandonment. Staying frozen in pain perpetually does not serve Michael nor does it serve the world. Quite the opposite. Staying paralysed by pain that one actually seeks out for false “comfort” to mistakenly hold onto someone is to seek martyrdom for self– a self serving act of the ego. Binding people to the world with “loyalty” does not serve their soul. They must be free to choose their path here and hereafter. True love for one who has gone lets them go on to complete their work. Their work is theirs. Our work is ours. We honor those we love by action in their name. Michael asked us to change the world. That is what honors his memory. ~Rev. B

    Posted November 11, 2010 at 12:02 pm | Permalink
  18. AnneUK said . . .

    Dear Rev Barbara,
    Again you have faithfully told in your beautiful words what our hearts feel. You have captured the essence and heart of Michael so often that I so agree with Susan T that you should be the one who writes the “True” story of Michael Jackson. I know that many of us have made changes in our lives as countless others have done towards Michaels dream of a better world. There is still so much to do. We have to defeat the darkness and if we all can educate just one person as to what Michael was and represented and they go on to educate one more what a difference that would make. Thankyou for your enlightened words, they mean the world to me. With much love Anne UK

    Posted November 11, 2010 at 2:41 pm | Permalink
  19. Cassaundra Mathis said . . .

    I am so in tears now that I can only say thank you. I thought I was being cruel when I tried to tell myself that if Michael had to go, I thank God that he went peacefully. Yes he went too soon, and my heart breaks again and again when I allow myself to remember that he was taken unnaturally. But the fact that he did not suffer, that he was asleep, is what has made all of this sorrow a little easier for me to handle. God said suffer little children to come unto me and I will give thee rest. Certainly God called to Michael on that night and Michael obeyed. Oh my heavens, now I must repose myself. God bless you Reverend Barbara. God bless you.

    Posted November 11, 2010 at 8:12 pm | Permalink
  20. Dalia said . . .

    Michael’s fans really understand this feeling of sadness and loneliness Michael left us. My family says I’m sick but love is not an election we can choose. My love for Michael was born in the heart. It’s an unconventional love but not one I chose but rather I think that Michael chose me to love him like he chose you, nothing happens by chance…On the other hand I’ve understood, the shadow must be confronted with light, understanding and love, without losing faith. As Jesus did. As Michael did.

    Posted November 12, 2010 at 5:59 am | Permalink
  21. Garden said . . .

    I am in tears… and once again I needed them. (So much anger around these days makes hearts cringe.) My heart is swelling and glowing… by reading you. “Why is it strange that I’m falling in love?” Love is the answer. ay our thoughts and words and actions be with Love. Thank you Barbara and those who reacted. May the Man live in our hearts and spirits forever, making that change within us and from there help us heal the world.

    Posted November 12, 2010 at 5:49 pm | Permalink
  22. Susan T said . . .

    I just watched the embedded video. I remember watching Richard Dreyfus during that speech. It really affected me. My deepest compliments to the videographer who adapted it for Michael. He must be smiling from ear to ear on this one. In fact, I catch him leaping with joy, blowing us kisses and saying I LOVE YOU! KEEP IT UP! It is time to move away from the pain. It’s not what he’d want us to absorb ourselves in. I like to think of his comment to Frank DiLeo during one of his countless visits to hospitals full of sick and dying children. DiLeo is overcome with emotion and Michael comforts him by telling him, “It’s okay, Frank, this is why we’re here”. Wouldn’t you love to awake tomorrow morning to a front page article in your local paper with his picture showing him at that hospital and seeing those words? Now, THAT would be Breaking News! How do we compliment the videographer? [Leave message at You Tube ~Rev B] Thanks so much, Barbara. This is one I’m going to watch over and over again, just for a little jolt of inspiration. Let’s move on with L.O.V.E.

    Posted November 12, 2010 at 10:09 pm | Permalink
  23. Kim said . . .

    Thank you Rev. Barbara. I choose to not stay frozen in grief; I choose to use my grief and turn it into action and work to change the world. I’ve made that vow in Michael’s name. Every day, I feel like I am becoming more aware of examples of the things that we need to change. I truly feel like I have just woke up from a long sleep. A little story…the other day, I saw a homeless vet sitting near the mall. He asked me for money and I said I would come to him on the way out after I obtain some cash. He probably thought I was brushing him off; but I wasn’t. I truly didn’t have cash on me. As I was walking out of the mall, I usually would pull out a couple of dollars, but then something stopped me (perhaps it was the last time I helped someone on the street by giving them a few dollars; later I realized that wasn’t nothing) and pulled out 10.00. Now I understand in the grand scheme of things that this may or may not be much for those who have nothing, but at the same time, it was much more then he expected. When I handed him the money, I wasn’t sure how much I should engage with him. I just walked up and said God Bless you Sir. He took the money, realized how much it was and said the same to me. Although I felt I gave him at least enough for a meal, I felt that I didn’t do enough or take the time to really engage with him and understand why he was where he was at. I felt I didn’t show him enough L.O.V.E. What should have I done? Should I have sat down and talked with him. We know that sometimes it can be dangerous to talk to people we don’t know; but perhaps he wasn’t dangerous and he would have appreciated some company. I don’t know. We are taught that we shouldn’t engage with someone who is homeless because would we put ourselves in danger? Well this is exactly what humanity needs to overcome; that societal conditioning. Perhaps sometimes these warnings about stranger danger are right, but perhaps at times they are not. So I questioned in the end, did I even make a different in his life? That remains to be seen of course. The point of my story is that going forward, I will think about extending more L.O.V.E. to people and not just do enough to make me feel better. I will follow Michael’s lead and extend L.O.V.E. from the heart. What a lesson I learned that day!!! Your article here truly helped me understand that even more. Thank you so much. Namaste to you my friend.

    Posted November 13, 2010 at 1:38 am | Permalink
  24. Dalia said . . .

    The willingness to love, accept and forgiveness are essential ingredients to dull the shadow. Michael’s legacy is the example of love and combat hate with love. I loved the story of Kim, that’s the inheritance that Michael has left us, leaving us with a heart torn by grief but willing to look at everything that perhaps before we were indifferent. The pain caused by his loss moving us into action to things he loved and wished to correct. Every time we do something in his memory, his suffering was worth it, his tears at being rejected, misunderstood, slandered,was not in vain. With anecdotes like Kim’s and many other from us who are working forward, we can visualize the outcome of his struggle. Thank you Barbara, there is much love in your words.

    Posted November 13, 2010 at 7:54 am | Permalink
  25. Sue Springer said . . .

    Thank you Rev. B. for your loving care of all of us. I had wondered if others had thought about the manner of his passing in this way. Knowing that his passing over was peaceful and during sleep has made the pain bearable for me. I believe that bands of angels came that day and escorted him home. We now have so much work to do, and I know for myself sometimes the task of change seems so daunting, but I am committed to continuing in every aspect of my life. Reading this and the comments of others just reinforces the knowledge that we are all on the right path, the path Michael illuminated for all of us. Every day I envision all of Michael’s earthly angels standing side by side, holding each others hands, stretched across every nation, all across the planet — making a statement that someday will be impossible for anyone to ignore — that LOVE is all that matters, and that peace and unity must prevail, and that all of humanity will one day remember they are part of the divine. Love and peace everyone, Sue.

    Posted November 13, 2010 at 10:19 pm | Permalink
  26. Wisdom of Mary's Kid said . . .

    Dealing with Grief: The are alot of new and young Michael J. fans whose ages range from 5 yrs to young tweens such as my 12 year old niece who sadly only got to know the full Music legacy after he passed. Blogs, MJ Supporters can become Big Brother or Big Sister to these young and impressionable fans. Help them Keep the Love/Faith by helping navigate they way through recent Media/MusicBiz/Jackson Family Strife. Gently teach them how Michael always tried and did stay strong and rise about such Strife. Supporters can donate ro Vitiligo or Lupus foundations because Michael had to suffer through those illnesses most of his life. Would it be a wonderful tribute to MJ? Children who Suffer from Lupus/Vitiligo (like Michael’s Son Prince) you can donate or volunteer in honor of him Prince or Michael to turn Sadiness into Postive Light.

    Posted November 14, 2010 at 4:32 am | Permalink
  27. Divina-Lisa said . . .

    I love the video! It brought tears to my eyes.. Michael will forever live in my heart and my soul and I AM doing everything I can to continue his legacy of love, peace and unity. Michael did change the world because of his love for humanity, his love for the planet, his love for God. The torture he went through only glorified his courage, his compassion, and his LOVE. Michael was and is LOVE. He showed teh world what love truly means… sacrifice, courage, wisdom, kindness, patience, giviing of one’s heart-for the purpose of giving and in the process healing those who are in pain, who are homeless, who are hungry, who are in the darkness. There are not enough words in this realm of reality we call life for this man. Thank you Rev. B for seeing this truth. Beloved Michael rest in peace king of music, king of dance, king of LOVE.

    Posted November 25, 2010 at 6:19 pm | Permalink
  28. Isabella said . . .

    Dear Barbara… I usually don’t cry much because I always try to turn my sorrow in good action helping others and good thoughts thinking he is happy in the Light. But… last Wednesday here in Italy they aired, for the first time, on national public TV, late but not too late at night, a beautiful one hour show on Michael. It was respectful and in many ways poetic and delicate. They also had interviews with Italian singers and dancers who knew him and Pavarotti’s second wife. I was amazed since I was expecting the same old TV stuff with all the ambiguous innuendo. No… it was not like that for one time… in the contrary they talked about him with humaneness and gentleness with little interruptions for spots. There were some little mistakes in the chronology of happenings and only some little mention to the bad rumors. They even let him ‘talk’ in some recordings… Toward the end I started crying so much I could not stop. It was a long time since I cried so much for him, I guess since his memorial. My heart was torn between incredible joy for they treating him fairly and the exacerbation of the pain for his loss because it was too early, too unfair, too much pain in the last years… because I didn’t have and will never have the chance to encounter that smile of his and enjoy his art. So I cried all my tears and fell asleep still sobbing. The next morning I was aware I dreamed about him… I don’t remember the dream but I do know he was smiling at me and had short hair like in the video of the song “You are not alone.”

    Posted December 1, 2010 at 8:12 pm | Permalink
  29. Elizabeth said . . .

    Thank you so much. I can not even comment your words have moved me so in portraying exactly who Michael Joseph Jackson is and the heartbreak and pain of his loss. But, for Michael’s sake and in Michael’s name, I must continue to be that change and “make that change”. Beloved Michael Joseph Jackson much more than the King of Pop so much more. LYM

    Posted December 2, 2010 at 1:37 am | Permalink
  30. admin said . . .

    Thank you Isa. And tell them we want to see that film in America. ~B

    Posted December 2, 2010 at 2:34 am | Permalink
  31. Josephine said . . .

    Beautiful post! These emotions I feel for this man have caused me to change. I have become a thinker, I have become closer to God. I feel like I have a duty to advocate for this brilliant, wonderful man. I feel like I am some how connected to him and need to help bring salvation back. I don’t know how to explain this. I don’t know how to write what I feel. I miss him as if I have lost my my best friend. People around me don’t understand. I get so many questions that it’s gotten to the point I try to hide my feelings even from family. I avoid talking about him, hide books I buy about him. I feel as if I am doing something wrong. It’s so hard. No one understands. I sometimes can not stop crying. I know this is part of my plan and I must advocate for MJ. Thank you for helping me understand I am not crazy I am not alone.

    Posted December 20, 2010 at 9:21 pm | Permalink
  32. admin said . . .

    J- Some of that was just too personal. Know that you are not alone. There are people all over the world who share this mystery with you. Sending comfort angels your way ‘with a little help from my friends.’ ~B

    Posted December 20, 2010 at 9:47 pm | Permalink
  33. Sharron Clemons said . . .

    I love the video! It brought tears to my eyes.. Michael will forever live in my heart and my soul and I AM doing everything I can to continue his legacy of love, peace and unity. Michael did change the world because of his love for humanity, his love for the planet, his love for God. The torture he went through only glorified his courage, his compassion, and his LOVE. Michael was and is LOVE. He showed the world what love truly means… sacrifice, courage, wisdom, kindness, patience, giviing of one’s heart-for the purpose of giving and in the process healing those who are in pain, who are homeless, who are hungry, who are in the darkness. There are not enough words in this realm of reality we call life for this man. Thank you Rev. B for seeing this truth. May Michael rest in peace– king of music, king of dance, king of LOVE.

    Posted December 21, 2010 at 9:46 pm | Permalink
  34. Marisol Perry said . . .

    Beautiful post! These emotions I feel for this man have caused me to change. I have become a thinker, I have become closer to God. I feel like I have a duty to advocate for this brilliant, wonderful man. I feel like I am some how connected to him and need to help bring salvation back. I don’t know how to explain this. I don’t know how to write what I feel. I miss him as if I have lost my my best friend. People around me don’t understand. I get so many questions that it’s gotten to the point I try to hide my feelings even from family. I avoid talking about him, hide books I buy about him. I feel as if I am doing something wrong. It’s so hard. No one understands. I sometimes can not stop crying. I know this is part of my plan and I must advocate for MJ. Thank you for helping me understand I am not crazy I am not alone.

    Posted December 22, 2010 at 2:14 am | Permalink
  35. mira said . . .

    Thank you so much for this Website, dear Reverend Barbara. Since Michael’s passing, I searched the internet like a fool for help, for consolation, for an answer, maybe for Michael to turn up again and talking to us. Then I found your site – and here I find what I was looking for. Your thoughts and texts bring the consolation and soul balm that I was so desperately seeking. Thank you so much. Thank you. mira.

    Posted December 27, 2010 at 10:57 am | Permalink
  36. Amber said . . .

    I cried reading that entire thing. Cried. I have no words, I feel it. All of it. And everything I am, and everything I am becoming is because of Michael. I will do my best, nothing less, to honor him, and make this world a better place. It’s the least I can do, for a man who opened my eyes, and changed my life. Michael’s love is great. Those who recognize it are blessed. Thank you for writing this. With love, Amber

    Posted March 23, 2011 at 4:16 am | Permalink

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