Inner Michael » Titans: “This is It”

Titans: “This is It”

I hope you read the “Titanism” series. It is one of the most important messages on Inner Michael that relates to the MJ legacy. It is a direct message to the women impacted by Michael Jackson’s death. It has been there… all this time… waiting for the right moment to speak to you…

A spiritual emergency occurs when something happens and suddenly the world as you knew it no longer exists in that same way; you know something important but un-namable is very, very different. You know YOU are different.

You are inexplicably restless and you intuitively feel that you are supposed to DO SOMETHING but are not sure what that is.

You have felt weepy and unsettled and have had unusual occurences, coincidences, or synchronicities that began or are related to a single shattering event…

You sense or feel a calling but have no idea what you are being called to.

Your whole being is telling you a revolution has begun and huge change is on the way but you can’t see it yet. You have a “Blessed Unrest” inside and wonder what this feeling is…

You know that the old ways of being aren’t working anymore. You want to know: ‘what is the new way?’

Read the Titanism series.

If you are a visual person and process images better than script, here’s another way of saying it…

It’s been said before…

And yet another way it’s been said:

And is being said again today:

Time for revolution!

Do you hear HER Roar? Can you FEEL IT?

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The original post ended here but I found something so profound and that fits so well with this series, that I just had to share it. This blog post was written by a high school girl in response to a “dress code” speech from her principal. It illustrates beautifully how archaic and artificially constructed definitions of “maleness” are perpetuated in the modern world. This girl’s letter is brilliant:

“Feel free to sexually harass me if you’re male. You know what they say “Boys will be boys.”. Although I’m not sure any of you will want to do that since I’m not very modest, therefore not attractive.

The new principal at my school used two phrases while addressing new dress code rules to a class. 

“Modest is hottest.” and “Boys will be boys.” 

He should have said something more along the lines of: “The school dress code was established to provide our students with a safe and orderly learning environment that is free from distractions.”

Let’s start with the phrase “Modest is hottest.” Shall we? 

Modest-Having or showing a moderate estimation of one’s own talents, abilities, and value.

If modest is hottest, then it’s not modest. 

You are literally sending the message to young girls, who are already struggling with self confidence, that hiding their body makes them more attractive. You are establishing a sense of shame in these young, developing minds and bodies. A human has the right to wear whatever they feel comfortable in. Showing less skin doesn’t make you any more attractive. Showing more skin does not make you any less attractive. When someone calls you attractive that just means that they are attracted to you. 

At what point in your career did you find it appropriate to define my “hotness”? Why are you at all concerned with how “hot” I am? You are teaching us, through modesty, to be objects of sexual arousal. I’m sorry, but I don’t dress myself to look “hot” for anyone. I dress myself as a way of expressing myself and my body. “If covering up my body is supposed to make people sexually/physically attracted to me, then how would those people feel if I decide to have sexual relations with them, without clothes on?” “How am I supposed to love and feel proud of my naked body and develop a sense of sexuality when exposing my body is deemed shameful and unattractive?” Since when should being “hot” be my concern. I don’t want to be with someone who just thinks I’m hot. I want to be with someone who loves and respects all the parts of my mind, personality, and body. THAT’S what you should be teaching, not “How to be hot.”. 

My body is not a sinful temptation that needs to be hidden.
My body is not your personal, sexual object.
My body does not overshadow my character.
My body is not any more sexual than a man’s body.
My body is not here to look “hot” for you.

 Next up is “Boys will be boys.” 

Being a boy refers to your gender. That’s all. 

It does not make you constantly sexually aroused, animalistic, or sexually uncontrollable, but for some reason society has come to the conclusion that you are this stereotype. This is extremely sad. This gender stereotype is unfair to all men. By telling them who they are as a man you are absolutely taking away their moral agency. “But he’s a teenager. He’s raging with hormones.” You don’t think I’m raging with hormones as well? Believe me I am. Men are not stupid. They are not unable to see when someone is not consenting to sex. It’s not ‘in their nature’ to rape because they are a man, it’s not ‘in their nature’ because IT’S WRONG TO RAPE SOMEONE. Raping someone is a cognitive choice. (how modestly the victim dresses does not affect them being raped). When the few people that do sexually harass people happen to be male and you use the excuse “Boys will be boys.” you are not only excusing their behavior, you are condoning it. It’s this “Boys will be boys.” mentality, culture, and attitude that condone sexual assault. Whenever the excuse “Boys will be boys.” is used, it’s just an exercise of male privilege. It’s this attitude that condones sexual assault. You are giving them a free license that makes it okay for them to be sexually violent, that says “Well I’m a boy, it’s just who I am.” Sex needs to stop being about “no no no bad dirty gross shameful” and start being about “Yes. Let’s have consenting sex because I want to.” Consent. THAT’S what you should be teaching, not “Well you know how they are… Boys will be boys!”  

Boys are not sexually uncontrollable.
Boys do not have a genetic, animalistic, violent nature.
Boys are not born with a natural desire for destruction or control. 

Despite what society and culture keeps trying to cram down everyone’s throat, having a penis doesn’t make it okay to sexually harass someone. The false idea that men can’t control themselves is so unfair and completely ridiculous. 

The next day He called me down to his office to discuss my concerns. (Students and teachers told him about it, which I expected) 

I spent a good hour and a half arguing with the principle about his comments when he called me down to his office, today. I offered to send him what I posted if he was interested in reading it. He said “No, that won’t be necessary.” I explained to him that I wanted him to read what I wrote and I would appreciate it if he did. He said “No, I don’t really care to read it. That’s okay.” 

I asked him what he meant by the phrase “boys will be boys” and he explained that if a girl is inappropriately dressed that it can lead to inappropriate, sexual touching and staring (sexual harassment). If a boy chooses to sexually harass someone, it’s his choice no matter what his gender is.

He explained to me that boys are more “wound up” than girls are. I didn’t quite understand what he meant by that so I asked him for a different adjective and after a minute of mumbling he chose the word “aggressive” but then followed that up with “…well I don’t think that’s the correct word to use…”. I agree, not the best word to use, eh?  

I asked him to explain why boys are different than girls in this regard and he said “Well to start, all boys are attracted to girls…” I interrupted with “No. There are actually boys who are attracted to other boys.” He laughed and said “Oh, yes of course!”… I guess that part must have slipped his mind. 

I asked him, in general, what the difference is between girls and boys. He said that boys “misbehave more” and are “outgoing”. He said that girls are “reserved”. That’s all. That’s the word he used, “reserved”. Boys and girls are different because they have different organs and hormones. Being a girl doesn’t automatically make me reserved. Just like being a boy doesn’t make you automatically misbehave. I explained to him that by using the phrase “Boys will be boys.”, he is excusing and condoning bad behavior from boys, such as sexual harassment and rape. “But that’s not reality, that’s your opinion.” he said.  

He explained that his daughters “behave” and that his nephews were disrespectful… because they are boys. I said “That has nothing to do with their gender. They act that way because of how they were raised, the environment they are living in, and the choices they make.”  

I told him that the phrases he used were sexist and stereotypical and unfair to all genders. I explained to him that many students and people of society were offended by what he said and the phrases he used. I told him that I thought he should apologize for what he said and explain to students and society that this kind of message is not okay or appropriate. 

He said he wouldn’t apologize for that, but he would give me an apology, which was “I’m sorry you feel that way.”  

After he dodged almost every question I asked by sharing his plans to improve LHS, he decided that he had had enough of not being able to answer my questions or concerns and ended our discussion by saying “I’m going to end this discussion.” and I was sent back to class. 

There is so much wrong with what this principal is doing that I can’t even list it, but yeah here’s your takeaway: 

He explained that his daughters “behave” and that his nephews were disrespectful… because they are boys. I said “That has nothing to do with their gender. They act that way because of how they were raised, the environment they are living in, and the choices they make.”  

They are disrespectful because you have specifically told them they can do whatever they want and you will excuse it because they’re boys!

 

4 Comments

  1. gertrude said . . .

    The revolution is love. Hallelujah. LOVE the brilliant letter from the brilliant young woman. Hard to believe things are still so regressive that kind of letter is critically necessary. Here we go again.

    Posted January 26, 2014 at 4:58 am | Permalink
  2. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    That “brilliant young woman” caught the attention of the Huffington Post editor and now the story is viral:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marion-mayer/taking-stand-against-school-dress-code_b_4610307.html
    Good on her. ~B

    Posted January 26, 2014 at 2:20 pm | Permalink
  3. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    It will be a relief when all men understand that the current “definition” of maleness is a human construct that is an overlay on existence. Existence is not polarized and does not demand such things; ego does. “Maleness” is not about power, superiority, entitlement, oppression and control. The rage that males feel comes from fear of the Divine Feminine archetype– an unconscious fear that masks the natural longing for it. The overlay there is that there is something “wrong” about allowing the whole self to operate in the world. The lie that has been assumed is that to long for or seek nurturing and comfort is a weakness, yet every man feels it. Polarity is not necessary. Distancing oneself from the feminine (denying it, objectifying it, condemning it or suppressing it into shadow) is a mistake for it creates imbalance. The dissonance and the violence that results from this internal struggle is destructive and it plays out in the world as conflict, violence and war.

    It is a mistake too when women believe they must adopt these same tendencies in order to claim leadership, accomplishment or “to get ahead in the world.” (That simply another constructed overlay onto existence that is unnecessary and unhelpful.) Women who allow their intuitive nature free rein, who embrace their feminine, who love and nurture, (sometimes fiercely) can change the world. We don’t have to make someone “right” or “wrong” or “punish” anyone. We don’t even need to forgive– We just need to move forward with change. Sometimes change is served by demanding attention to something harmful or out of balance. Not punishment, but attention. Once you get someone’s attention, education can begin. Point out mistakes (no blame or punishment- there is not time for that,) then educate.

    The greed, oppression, entitlement, invasiveness, and cynicism that we see in systems operating in the world separates humanity rather than uniting us. And that paradigm, held far too long and to extreme, has placed the planet itself in danger. “We are (after all) the World.”

    Posted January 27, 2014 at 4:10 pm | Permalink
  4. souldreamer7 said . . .

    I read the series and it helped me and added to what I was feeling already We were all close to the vibration, so it came in handy. Thanks Rev. B.
    Blessings*

    Posted February 20, 2014 at 11:45 am | Permalink

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