Inner Michael » Humming Fire blinded by the light.

Humming Fire blinded by the light.

I was watching a video of Michael Jackson today when he was so young and so popular and setting the world on fire. Green fire. Deep fire. In the film he looks not only pleased to be doing what he loves and was born to do, but with an expression of delighted surprise and just pure, well… JOY. I recently spoke about how the soul-light shines from the eyes and when the soul is intact– there is a sparkle, a kind of aliveness in the eyes. A shimmer. If we could only remember.

Babies are born from Creation, from Source and are thrust from that world into the physical world at  birth. They carry pure untouched Source, a state of love and innocence with them; they are not very distant from Source. They come from a place of love and beauty into the physical world of atoms and “reality.” The distancing from source is progressive and happens little by little as life progresses. Babies are born pure light in pure delight. As they are acclimatized to this dimension and begin to be: corrected, scolded, indoctrinated, overwhelmed, confused and made to conform, something happens to that light. It seems to dull a bit with each occurrence.  Particularly when children are bullied and violated by those they trust, the light dims. Imagine the sensitivity of an artistic child; imagine the light, the talent– a geyser erupting from inside, rising in crescendo and its shower of brilliance cascading down and nourishing everything it comes into contact with. That kind of exuberance. Imagine a child’s innocence and naivete of knowing only the Source of that light and desiring only the joy of sharing it. Unscripted, unsolicited, unencumbered and sheer joy. Imagine the delight. Imagine the Source-ness of it. Imagine an orange in the peak of the season that as you bite, drips the very essence of the sun as it runs down your chin. That kind of sweet, succulent delight.

Imagine your body moving to the sounds and rhythms of its watery cocoon in the womb, hearing the sounds of the universe, music of the spheres and then exploding into a physical world with a body that hums that rhythm in its soul. Imagine hearing that music all your life and trying to duplicate something in physicality that is so beautiful as to take your breath. Imagine that hum, that fire and imagine the longing to recreate it and share it with others so that they too, can stand in awe, in that same magic, that same wonder.

Can you feel that? Can you taste it? Can you remember it? Then ask: “Have you seen my childhood?”

Now imagine how that light could shame the darkness around it and bring out the shadow in those exposed to it and whose egos take it personally as an affront or a reminder of how un-talented they feel by comparison. Misery does not love light. Jealousy does not love light. Envy does not love light.

“Before you judge me, try hard to love me.” What does that mean? Unconditional love and judgment cannot occupy the same space. If we are truly in a space of love, we are not judgmental. Michael was speaking of the “Inner Michael”- the child within, the unignited Christ hibernating inside waiting to be born,– the light that is THAT, the spark, the sliver of glory, the Divine blueprint inside… all of us humans. We forget who we are. Michael remembered. Michael reminded.

Have you seen my childhood? Have you seen my innocence? Namaste`. Oh good, the light in you recognized the light in me?

Will you love (appreciate) that part of me? Can you shine your love so I can remember who I am too? Your love will help me keep that child whole and intact. Will you treat me tenderly as I grow? Will you nourish me and encourage me to bring my god-given talent into the world? And if I do will you appreciate it? Or will you throw it away? And throw me away by proxy. Or as you encounter me, will you bring your light too? Will you help me find again my childhood? And yours? Before you judge me, try hard to love me?

It is a question!

What is your answer to Michael Jackson, world? And to all the other creative souls who tremble in trepidation and meekness, try to bring their gift to the world? To those who dare to be vulnerable? Who dare to share? To risk for love? To risk their own exposure in order to bring to you the love inside them? To give at their own expense, their own peril? And what is your answer to your own gift? Your own light?

There was a lot of darkness radiating in the last couple weeks.  Light could not find itself. There was a lot of empty space instead of love. A lot of judgment. A lot of unexamined assumptions. A lot of assuming, speculation, guessing, and piecing together information from sources that are not fully credible with less than adequate information. A lot of noise drowning out those who were begging to be heard. And underneath it? A lot of unspoken longing for reassurance, for love.

In case you missed it, the unspoken and unheard part of that was a cry for love. A cry for the innocence of childhood to return. That is what is behind the shadow of condemnation. So don’t come here and justify the consternation. Don’t rationalize the bullying that took place. And don’t “go postal” (a turning point in civility, by the way) and shoot to kill the messenger. Recognize the misplaced anger and uncried tears in the mass hysteria and the mob mentality. Now “make that change” for the “Jacksons saga” just brought you another opportunity. A chance to awaken from the sleep. What would Michael want, what would he say?

“Wake up!”

The media picked up on a Tweet and ran with it and the next thing you know, his babies are in jeopardy and his mother loses custody. Do you think that would have made Michael happy? Then something had to be done to calm it all down– this is always how it is when “celebrity troubles” headline in the media. Damage control. And in typical form: people lied. They reported exaggerated and false information. You expected something else, maybe? The pot was stirred from the inside and the outside– naturally it boiled over. Did you get in there and help stir it? You don’t recognize or see a pattern here? You don’t feel your angry insides? They were once again projected on people who just may be innocent. (Michael was.) We don’t know the whole story yet. At this rate, we may never know. People tried to speak out or explain but nobody was listening. They were angrily dismissed. (Just like Michael was when he tried to speak up.) The anger that is internal (belonging to self) boiled up and was projected onto others and in the process people behaved badly and like bullies. (Just like was done to Michael.)

Someone said to me, “history repeating itself.” Isn’t this precisely the kind of thing that fans have complained about regarding Michael and the media? When something happened in the Jackson family or something happened with Michael, who was quick to judge? Who was quick to lead the charge of the masses into that place of judgment, of shadow? And what did the audience, the masses do with that sensationalized and inadequate information? What did they do before hearing the whole story from both sides? When both sides weren’t reported adequately, fairly or fully?

They condemned. And condemned,. And condemned. For decades. They assumed guilt without knowing the whole story and before all of it was even told. Everybody got in on the fray. Everybody had an opinion. Nobody actually checked it out. And when Michael himself tried to deny the charges and ask everyone to not judge but wait for all the evidence before condemning him; he was ignored. Not only was he ignored but they “analyzed” his words, his demeanor, his body language. It all conveniently added up to “guilty!” And everybody assumed the truth of their own opinion. Everybody had his brand of truth helped along by the media and how the story was spun. Wasn’t it frenzy and a media blitz and firestorm that engulfed a man and created a meme that now continues to live in the farthest corners of the world?

Everybody was talking about it. Everybody knew the truth! Guilty! Guilty! After all, didn’t he have a reputation (CONSTRUCTED BY THE MEDIA) that preceded him? Wasn’t he crazy? Bizarre? Unglued? Look at his behavior! It’s crazy! Look at his face! It’s a guilty face! He keeps changing it! He must hate himself! Look at his record! He brings children to Neverland! The media encouraged the buzz. More and more words were written. Reporters grabbed on to the story and wrung all the juice from it. Headlines screamed. Some made up stories of “more victims” in order to wring out every last juicy detail and keep the story going. Isn’t this precisely the kind of  the frenzy that swirled around Michael? Didn’t the unscrupulous and the media lead the charge? And the truth was buried. Forever. Until he died.

Do people have to die here? Who do you think might be first?

The media has always tried to nullify the Jacksons so they don’t ever have to acknowledge their racist agenda or face the white rage and guilt associated with that family. They went after Michael to take him down. You know what happened. They got Michael. They got Joe. They tried to take down Janet after the Super Bowl; now they will go after her again. And any of the rest of the clan that threaten the collective memory that doesn’t want to remember their guilty actions. And when they come after Paris, Prince and Blanket, don’t claim you weren’t aware of your part in HIStory.

Because Michael was so private he created mystery around himself. Because he was so sensitive and was not a great orator, he avoided interviews. He cleverly understood the value of myth and mystery and he used it to his advantage. “Hollywood” demands a gimmick, a hook, a way to stand out, to be different and to keep people guessing– for branding. Michael’s silence worked in his favor initially. But when things got out of control, his silence only served to convince people he had something to hide. Attorneys always tell their clients to not speak to the media. Who could have stopped Michael then?

While Michael was outstanding in art, music and dance, he was not an eloquent orator. He was not good at giving speeches and he knew it. He avoided interviews for the sake of mystery but also because he felt awkward talking about himself and attributed his vast talent to his maker. That was very unheard of in Hollywood– a place tainted by glitz, glitter and huge egos. And he had that soft speaking voice– considered effeminate and cause for mockery and laughter. He was not savvy with spontaneous media or at representing himself. None of the Jacksons seem savvy with media and as a result, they are often misunderstood or their words are taken out of context (to “prove” or further deepen the meme.) Had Michael Jackson had the oratory skill of say… a Barack Obama, the meme would have been successfully deconstructed.

Artists are often sensitive, impetuous, insistent, and fierce when it comes to their art. When single-minded, they are not swayed easily. Michael’s primary art was performance art. A performance art demands an audience and the perception of that audience. While fans were in the pocket because they knew Michael’s heart through his work, the general public did not. Michael was adept enough and savvy enough to know that unless an artist is memorable in his or her own time, and in the public eye– the longevity of the art, and its impact– will be just a passing fancy and  short-lived. Michael was true to his archetype, bold and fearless and that audacity translated to his art. His art ruffled most and outraged some and he knew it would. His work was intuitive and interpretive and extremely holistic but much of the public took it at face (surface) value. Michael came to make a change in the world and in order to do that, one must challenge the status quo. When people are content with the way things are, they don’t like those kinds of challenges because they disturb the social order. And even when the message is necessary and delivered in an inspiring way, people do kill the messenger.

Art in the service of humanity can sometimes inspire but it can also inflame fragile egos and social constructs. That is what provocative art does– it challenges the status quo. And that is what provocative artists do– they and their work become mirrors for culture and society. They silently shout “Hey! Come here! Come look at yourself and tell me– do you like what you see? No? Then change it.”

The other element of this perfect storm of Michael Jackson’s life was the introduction of clever minds (“inquiring minds”) that understood human misery and how it is a commodity that can be traded. The tabloid media explosion was planned, deliberate and calculated. The positioning of yellow media tabloids in the supermarket checkout isles was a deliberate and coercive marketing plan. The public was groomed for it and the boring mindset of the previous generation’s “Christian” and “puritanical” vibe was ripe for  swinging to the opposite pole– and scandal became the focus. Of course it was somebody else’s scandal and not the hold-out puritan’s personal life that was at stake. Voyeurism allowed the “sin” to belong to the “other” instead of self. One could partake in the sin by proxy and not be considered contaminated by it. This is also true of particular reporters both then and now. What better way to “justify” your voyeurism and tramping around in the territory of the seductive dark side than to “report it” as a public service to a clamoring public? A public that you, yourself have groomed for it with rhetoric and propaganda.

It began with the tabloids. Later, not to be left out of the breaking news headlines and profits, the mainstream media allowed the infection into the press and produced a hybrid– “medialoid” that still exists today. Media, press, airtime, tabloids and tabloid TV and yes, even cable news is first a business and then a public service. Media, according to F.C.C. rules is supposed to serve the public good. Does that hold true, even today? Are those rules enforced? Are the culprits who break those rules challenged? Rarely! So the media started to transform from its respected platform of informing the public in service to the public good into something grotesque, ugly and mean-spirited.

It began with little things… it grew into “BIZZARRE,” then FREAK! Then words that cannot be reprinted here. Fingers pointed. Accusers lined up. Talking heads yammered on and on… the world, fed by the media storm and engulfed in it– PARTICIPATED. Nobody said “STOP!” Or, “this is unkind” or “we don’t personally know this man.” Or… we don’t have the whole story; some of it is private.” Or: “it should be worked out among the parties involved” or “nobody should be tried and convicted in the press or by public opinion!”

Yes, some are sorry. But not sorry enough to rethink their own behavior. History repeats even now after all the nasty business taught its’ lessons. Or not. Perhaps those lessons didn’t sink in. Now the mean-stream media has engulfed “the Jacksons” — music’s black first family. So let’s all jump on the bandwagon and nullify those Jacksons! Let’s erase them from the history to which they are entitled! Let’s vilify them in the public eye and convict them in the public mind! Let’s all jump on the “crazy dysfunctional” meme! There will be regrets. Guaranteed. And there will be consequences. As we continue our vocal bullying and our “mainstream become mean-stream” nastiness in words, we chip away again at our own humanity. We erode it again and again and we move farther away from that Source that accompanied us when we arrived here and we venture deeper into our own darkness where our demise as humanity awaits.

They will not stop at the elder “Jacksons.” The media, now primed and hungry for fresh “Jackson” blood and headlines, circles the children… stalking… waiting… for their opportunity to pounce and exploit yet another generation of “Jacksons.” After all, aren’t they all “crazy?” Aren’t they all “dysfunctional?” Aren’t they “bizarre,” offensive, jealous of their crazy brother? That “hot mess” of a pop star? And wasn’t there something really strange and sinister about him? Well, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. We will keep watch closely and wait for our opportunity… and if it doesn’t come soon enough, we’ll latch onto something questionable and create it! We’ll just make it up! The public will eat this stuff up! It will be all over Facebook, Twitter! We’ll rake in the cash! Those “crazy Jackson fans” will jump all over this! We’ll get a million hits!

So fans just helped the media prove their theory about the “Jacksons.” The fans just reinforced the meme– “the Jackson’s are a mess!” Do you think now that they know that name and a frenzy can still create a firestorm and huge profits, do you think they will exempt anyone?

“Have you seen my childhood?”

So once again nobody wins but the tabloids. The media wins again because they have just proved, one more time that they can hook the audience and play this game and the majority will play along. The “Jackson” meme continues. Yes, it reflects on Michael. And yes, it reflects on his children! It’s tentacles are once again spread worldwide and once again it engulfs the unwary who continue to sleep and those who appeared to awake but dozed back to sleep. The light goes into hibernation because the frenzy itself is the feed- it is too seductive, too exciting! Let’s all eat this darkness! Quick, participate! Lap it up! Gulp it down.

Come on! Join us! Go ahead, tear at the flesh of real people! Get your pound of flesh! Consume it just as the media would like you to! That’s exactly what they did to Michael. When you tear up and tear apart real people with the whole world watching, and demand chunks of them, those thing have ugly names. To tear people apart and take apart them, their careers and their reputations in the public square is to dismember them. And participating in that barbaric practice and consuming it is called cannibalism.

Shadow rules.

Isn’t that exactly what they did to Michael? And didn’t the public gleefully participate in that orchestrated shadow orgy?
Michael asked his fans to LOVE not hate!

Aren’t we (humanity) better than this? Can’t Michael Jackson fans lead the way? Guess not.

Step out of there! Put down the word weapons and ask the real question:

“Have you seen my childhood?”

“You mean that brilliant part of you, me, of us– that comes from Source? You mean that inner light shining out? The “Inner Michael” that Michael tried over and over to tell us about?


Keep Moving.


  1. victoria said . . .

    Dear Barbara,

    I have realized that childhood, is more of a permanent “state of the soul” rather than a stage in human development, and it is for me, a revelation. It resonates deeply with Truth, that the gift of childhood in its innocence, wonder and awe is the best that we, as spiritual beings having a human experience, have received from our Creator.

    When I am in the presence of new life, I can actually feel the energetic field of love that babies exude. They do come directly to us from the Creator, directly from Spirit residing among us as the embodiment of delight and I believe they actually help us to remember and connect with the child within each of us. You state it so eloquently Barbara as “the unignited Christ, and as our Divine blueprint”.

    The shadow of all this frightens me. The power of fear and hatred. The idea that unconditional love and judgement can never reside together is a powerful lesson. A lesson that many of us find very difficult to master. The love of a mother for her infant is probably the closest that I have seen to pure unconditional love in this dimension.

    Knowing the Source and the joy that comes with sharing it is like being a millionaire who gives away his money joyfully over and over again, bringing bounty and happiness and freedom to others.

    It is no great revelation that little children and adults who are childlike often understand the things of Spirit far more quickly and completely than many of the world’s great minds, even its theologians. That is because things of the Spirit are more about the heart’s own knowing than the intellect.

    One of the greatest Avatars who ever walked the planet explained it in various ways…

    “He called a little child and had him stand among them. And He said: ‘I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” . Matthew 18:2-4

    “Then the little children were brought to Him so he could place His hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. He said, ‘Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’ Matthew 19:13-15

    “Sitting down, He called the Twelve and said, ‘If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.’ He took a little child and had him stand among them. Taking him in His arms, He said to them, ‘Whoever welcomes one of these little children in My name welcomes Me; and whoever welcomes Me does not welcome Me but the One who sent Me.” Mark 9:35-37

    We know that we can not state that all children are one way or another, but we can examine some of the most common “childlike” attributes and in this way we can understand what Spirit wishes for us. Michael’s love for children was palpable, it was visible in everything that he did. He saw the face of God in children.

    Children are more loving than self absorbed
    Children are generally more trusting than cynical
    Children are naturally more honest than deceptive
    Children are usually more spontaneous than calculating
    Children tend to be more enthusiastic than passive
    Children are usually more pliable than rigid
    Children have a fully developed sense of wonder more so than the rational
    Children are generally more open than closed
    Children are naturally adventuresome rather than cautious

    Michael’s love for children was legendary. It was visible in everything that he did. He saw the face of God in children. The irony is that in our society childhood is only tolerated for a short period of time. We are indoctrinated early on to surrender our innocence so that as we age, it becomes more and more inappropriate to allow the child to surface. So we sever ties with that part of us, the part that is close to Source, the part which allows us to “become like children”, that part of ourselves that will lead us Home. Enter the Shadow.

    I have come to believe that spiritual maturity is the exact opposite of the maturity process within our nature as humans. In our human state we go from total dependence to independence. To mature spiritually we must move from independence back to total dependence. The great saints from all spiritual traditions became, as they walked in holiness, more and more humble, more and more dependent on Source.

    I have come to believe that this was the essence of Michael Jackson’s message. Prepare to return to Source. And a child will lead the way…..

    Posted August 15, 2012 at 3:54 am | Permalink
  2. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    Beautifully said and illustrated; Brava, V!

    The child and its journey is also an archetype and when a cultural archetype is violated or perceived as violated, people are annoyed or worse- hence the disdain for someone who will not “Grow up!” We lose touch and the pain of that loss makes us forget what it is like to shimmer. Michael knew and Michael reminded. Some hated him for it, tried to destroy him for it. They didn’t know it was their own projected wounded child they were attempting to destroy. And then it was the culture’s. He knew. But it didn’t stop him. And he didn’t resign his post– although I am sure in the face of the shadow it was tempting.

    So what if… instead of being frightened of the shadow, we viewed it as a wounded child? If we were confronted with a weeping, distraught and bedraggled child stading in front of us, what would be our first reaction? To kick him? Condemn him? Or would our first impulse be to sweep him up in our arms, hold him close to our chest for warmth and cradle his head in our hands and his body in our arms? Would we take him home with us, nurture him and smother (Blanket) him with love and take him in to bocome integrated as “family?”

    When people came at him from a dark and wounded place, what did Michael say? He said they needed more LOVE. He understood the power of the wounding and that it only succumbed and reliquished to love. (Hard as I try to practice that, I get distracted by the shadow’s sheer force. (People have come at me lately in shadow and it’s hard to stand in love rather than anger. It’s tough even wtih just a few random people in shadow. I can’t imagine a whole planet of that How did he do it?)

    Even with my years of meditation and study this practice takes focus, energy and well… practice. Step one is to see the weeping, devastated child in the shadows. When the shadow is “in your face” the ego gets in there and likes to forget and lash out. Forget about LOVE, sometimes we want to poke them in the eye. But that would leave the whole world blind. What if instead, we stopped and took a deep breath and began SEEING people in a new “light?”

    Posted August 15, 2012 at 12:55 pm | Permalink
  3. gertrude said . . .

    I tried posting before but my post immediately disappeared – maybe there was something wrong in what I said or how I said it. I was lamenting that, in news other than the Latest Fiction the media is spewing regarding the “Jacksons” – who have no resemblance to Michael’s family but whose pictures they use anyway – scientists are now telling us the Artic Ice Cap will be fully melted in 10 YEARS. TEN. DID ANYONE EVEN MAKE NOTE OF THIS “NEWS ITEM”?? Weren’t we multi-millions of Michael’s fans supposed to be getting on THIS in the days following his death?

    This is what Michael wanted his “fans” screaming out loud about before it was too late, and instead the minute amount of precious time left to do so has been spent bickering back and forth about things that don’t exist among a family’s Private Business while the Last Chance to stand together and truly heal as Michael asked us to join him doing, has come, and GONE.

    And now? You picked up the torch of Lone Voice Crying In The Wilderness that Michael left for us all Rev. B, and for that I, and surely many others, are forever grateful. When asked to comment at sites where Michael continued to be slandered and bullied I would often mention that this was all a smoke screen to distract us from what we should really be outraged about – the environment, 40 million orphans uncared for on the planet, poverty etc etc – and I was always puzzled at how often, and utterly, this issue of what our collective conversation really needed to be about was ignored.

    Words now fail me. It seems like what is left is to take my soul’s journey back to its child state, in preparation for the hereafter; my attachment to great Mother Earth so mournfully loosens. I will keep crying out for her no matter what but it is with a heaviness in knowing that it is all but too late.

    ‘Whoever welcomes one of these little children in My name welcomes Me; and whoever welcomes Me does not welcome Me but the One who sent Me.” Mark 9:35-37. That Whoever was clearly Michael Jackson and those of us who choose to have ears to hear. The final heartbreak seems to have arrived… and this is all that seems left to us?

    Posted August 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm | Permalink
  4. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    G, You are right to be concerned at the apathy AND the despair is necessary. It must be felt. Our disconnect is that we have avoided FEELING that despair. We have anesthetized ourselves with drugs, alcohol, prescription drugs, antidepressants, sports,sex, pornography, tabloid journalism and TV, “reality shows,” bullying, carping (finding fault continually) about others, tearing down those who dare to outshine us, celebrity gossip (Jacksons anyone?), violence and video gaming… to mention a few ways in which we keep ourselves from feeling the despair of the planet and its population. Don’t argue for the despair because you want to keep it however; transform it. Use its shadow energy to find the light that lurks behind it.

    Thank you for feeling and for being willing to feel the despair. It may encourage the rest of us to feel with you and that will help inch us all toward the light.

    The “mean wind” is real and it’s a frantic attempt to hold the despair at bay because we think that to feel it would overwhelm and destroy us. It won’t; it will save us. “Drama” is neurological brain food for those who fear and avoid the depths in favor of the shallow. It’s another addiction.

    It is what you do with the despair that matters. Become a watchdog, write your representatives and organizations, rent or buy a movie and gather your neighbors to watch it, join the Sierra Club and continue to support Michael’s message. The light is returning. When you feel chaos, you can believe it is closer than you imagine.

    “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.” ~Arundati Roy

    [The server has had problems. An IT person is looking into it for me. So pray for technology too! ;-)]

    Posted August 15, 2012 at 5:30 pm | Permalink
  5. Lynaire Williams said . . .

    Namaste to All,

    These last few weeks have been painful for those who truly seek to emulate the love Michael has for the world and humanity. Like you, Barbara, I will wonder forever how he managed it.

    The video of Michael you mentioned is my favorite. The pure, unadulerated joy and freedom in his eyes, face and body as he danced, is etched in my soul. We need to believe that we too, have those same attributes waiting to be freed.

    Barbara,you seem to be rebuking yourself for being human and not perfect.I have never met one yet who is, have you? The world has a great need of you. I say that not to pressure you but there may well be things that even you don’t fully comprehend about yourself as yet. Have you ever thought of yourself as a “Whistle Blower”? That you are facing an opposition equally as large and powerful as the US Goverment and defence force who believe that letting out truth is treason.

    As I believe it, we are living in a window of “no more secrets”. So, we can expect a lot more. Seven more banks have been subpeoned a la the rate fixing scandal.

    My admiration for such people is enormous but from personal experience I know it to be physically and mentally draining. So please take care. My thoughts and love are with you.


    Posted August 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm | Permalink
  6. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    Thanks, L. No pressure felt- just a lump now.

    No, not rebuking myself; just attempting the occasional confession that accompanies an honest self-examination and a demonstration that scrutiny of shadow projections has value and insight. A role-modeling, if you will, to demonstrate it is not as painful, scary, monumental or self-defeating as our imagination would have us believe. It’s actually very freeing to not be perfect. To NOT do this mirror work is to allow the shadow to loom large and potentially take over, resulting in a dimming of our internal light.. When we try to hide and push it down in shame we diminish self and hence all of humanity because we dissociate from the internal wounding and turn out the light so as not to see. Who here could beat a crying and devastated child? Yet when it’s our own inner child… we pound away on that little “body” as if it has no heart (and neither can anyone else have a heart then!)

    We see the child as weak and the vulnerabilities as weaknesses deserving of shame so we compound the beating with the additional beating of judgment.. It takes work, honest self review and forgiveness. We are human; we all have shadow. Identification with ego and shadow prevents us from saying “I’m sorry,” or “I have re-thought things and changed my mind.” It diisconnects us from our humanness, others’ humanness and the pain of a planet in peril.

    Do we ever seek to change things in a big way that we’re not horrified by? In Self or the world that’s reflection of self and all those little selves put together (vector) that make up the world’s consciousness. Better to be able to say “a part of me is”… being silly, being a bully, ashamed of my behavior, being a poop, being irresponsible… ” and to understand that it comes from feeling wounded. It means you’re not feeling so LOVED or LOVING right now– that’s the true wound. It’s really hard to acknowledge, though because we interpret it as a permanent flaw of character. Ignored or denied wounds fester and eventually must “pop” in a messy and unplanned eruption of anger. Better to clean or come clean and heal the wounding. My little girl (inside) cries (inside) at the pain of the world because she can cry for herself; understand? I am just suggesting it would be a better world if we touch and heal the wounded child, cradle them warts and all and show them LOVE. Then we may be able to touch and heal the world.

    Heard that somewhere else? From someone else? Wish I could say “Love you more” and really mean it. That doesn’t make me a throw-away human or a monster that I then have to project onto someone else. Just simply not convinced that it’s the truth yet, that’s all. ~B

    Y’all read that last sentence again, will you? There’s a little light bulb waiting in there.

    Posted August 16, 2012 at 2:21 pm | Permalink

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