Inner Michael

A poem previously appeared here called “I Will Sing to The Bees in Spring” that was written for my friend MB. She has just come onto the hospice program and is being taken care of by angel nurses while she prepares for her transition. I asked for an “audience” for a few moments (we joked about the ‘audience’ part) as she is very ill and extremely weak and tired. I wrote a poem for her that I shared here about her intention for conscious dying. Our conversation, likely our last was a beautiful thing as is how she has chosen to leave consciously and with dignity. The poem was re-worked and submitted to a contest for publication in her honor and can no longer appear here. It it wins or is published, I will reprint it. 

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To Live Out Loud

What I have learned from this journey with Michael Jackson for the last two years is how to live fiercely. But he is not my only teacher. “Live out loud,” they seem to say. “Be bold, be here and love now.” For tomorrow is not guaranteed.

There is a quiet humility about those who are grateful for the gifts they have been given when they embody that gratitude—it gives them a strength, a kind of invisible scaffolding that disappears when sheltering or guarding against the gritty assaults of everyday life. There is an honor about their living and a nobility about their gifts and how generously and determinedly they are shared. What they leave behind is a legend of simple grace in the face of triumph as well as tragedy.

I want to do it that way. I want to embrace even the grit. I want to reach for the authentic and eschew the trivial—and taste elegantly what’s left—like cutting off the crust of the bread so as to focus on the soft peanut butter and jelly treasure in the center.

I want to eat my dessert first. I want to indulge my soul but leave my ego at the door when the work in the world needs doing – even when it’s as simple as building hives to keep honey bees from extinction, just because you can do it and it matters.

It’s easy to be humble when there’s nothing to be done but maybe when you’re a rockstar at something, it’s important to do it even when they’re throwing rocks at you for living too loudly and where they can hear you. There may be a silent but insistent push from inside life itself to leave your mark. An obligation to shine. There may be a work of art you are destined to leave behind. Maybe it’s something that goes immediately unrecognized but inspires another to be legendary and make miracles that change the world until you can.

To stand in your power doesn’t mean to get up and shout how wonderful you are or to make your mark by claiming the achievements of others as your own. And I’d like to believe that meanness, vindictiveness or demonstrating “power over” by acts of cruelty or vicious words or actions, is not really rewarded with more power, but is met somewhere with unseen authority that renders it powerless.

I want to believe in the sanctity of Disneyland and the sanity of magic. I want a world where cynicism is laughed at and inspiration is embraced. I want to invite the child in everyone to step forward while the shadow recedes to behind.

I want to remember to meditate instead of remembering I didn’t have time. I want to take deep breaths instead of holding it waiting for the next blow to come. It’s not rocket science to imagine that we are all in this together. It’s evident.

I want to know I am safe to be happy. And today, especially today—I want to remember to be grateful. I want to remember to thank all the invisible hands that bring food to the table. I want to remember that I am blessed to know all of you. And I want you to have enough and what you need to be grateful too.

I want to remember that love is the answer. The only answer.

Happy Giving Thanks to Everyone—those who celebrate a holiday and those who don’t. May you be blessed this day with more than enough to be grateful for. And with LOVE.

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Love Is The Answer

One of my teachers is James Twyman. I studied with him and admire how he too, uses mulitple genres to impart messages– writer, speaker, theologian, musician. They call Jimmy the “Peace Troubadour” as he goes around the world to places where there is trouble and war and does concerts there.

He was asked to take a look at the last song that John Denver wrote but didn’t record. And we know how important those treasures can be so he agreed. For me, John Denver was another messenger who arrived on this planet to change it and save it and he too, imparted his wisdom through music.

John Denver wrote a song called “Love Is The Answer” and it is recorded here by James Twyman. I think Michael would like this song and I can almost hear how he would sing it.

It’s my gift and thanks to you.
Barbara

Love Is the Answer- James Twyman John Denver