Inner Michael » Heartbreak and Neverland’s Dream

Heartbreak and Neverland’s Dream

Michael Jackson’s Neverland was a dream– twenty eight hundred acres of rolling hills and verdant valley that was once home to the Chumash Indians– already a sacred land. When Michael Jackson bought Neverland in 1988, he already had a dream. Because of who he was, he needed a sanctuary away from the prying eyes of the world. An animal lover, he wanted a place to shelter and interact with beings of other species. And he envisioned a place where he, the children and the child in everyone, could recapture the child within. Neverland was that dream place.

But there was another dream Michael had for Neverland that he couldn’t make come true. David Nordahl was in Chicago a year ago at a fan-vention near Gary, Indiana where he spoke about Michael and the artwork Michael commissioned from him. Not all of David’s artwork was portrait work. Michael often commissioned him for sketches of the dreams that took shape in his creative mind. One of those dreams was to build a hospice-type complex for sick and dying children at Neverland.

There are those who still insist on perpetuating the meme that Michael Jackson harmed children. And it continues two years beyond his death. Despite his exoneration in a court of law, the court records which clearly show the sieve that was the prosecutor’s case,  the attorneys who worked with and for Michael Jackson and all the friends and colleagues who have come forward to speak about Michael, his character, his humanitarian work and relationships with children, some want to continue the dark caricature about Michael’s conduct and life.

Those who continue the lie have an investment in perpetuating it. If they were to accept the truth that Michael Jackson was an innocent man who was trying to navigate through a cynical world, they would come face to face with their own shadow. Anyone who could not bring themselves to believe he could be genuine and genuinely love children with an agape form of love and not a sexual love would first have to confront the cynicism that lives in the world, and that is not easy. They would have to look at their own capacity for infusing darkness into a circumstance that was unusual but completely innocent. They would have to admit their complicity in the slaughter of a true innocent and their own inability to hold space for innocence because their own innocence was long ago stolen or destroyed.

Michael Jackson appears so sophisticated in his on stage performances and his rise to stardom that the cynical assume much of it was calculated and itself cynically designed to catapult him through all kinds of obstacles and resistance to superstar status. While some of that brand strategy and marketing genius is true and admired in most business circles, it is seen as dark and manipulative when silhouetted against Michael Jackson as a brand.

It is impossible for those same people to believe that Michael Jackson was a magnet because of who he was being, not what he was doing. They never looked closely. They never really heard or read the lyrics and they don’t understand them. They looked at their own cynical belief filters instead of looking at him. They looked at Michael and saw their own judgments, the mirror of themselves and who they were being in the world. Their conclusions have nothing to do with Michael Jackson or who he was as a person or in his heart; they have everything to do with who they are in theirs. His darkness comes from the shadow in their own selves reflected back to them.

It was Michael’s energy and aura that spoke to people most loudly, not his marketing by self or others. You can’t fake that kind of thing. You can’t manufacture a quality like that if it isn’t already there. You can’t cause people to feel who he was if they have hardened their hearts or steeled themselves against feeling including the cascade of emotions that evocative music from a transcendentalist who wields magic– brings to that personal experience. You can’t get people to feel something they armor themselves against. You can’t expect people to recognize unconditional love in someone unless they have a reference experience for it in their own lives. That is why Michael always said “what is wrong with them is that they need more love.”

So yes, we can pity them and wish that someday they feel that love from somewhere because they ‘can’t get it again’ from Michael. He certainly tried. But while we are having compassion, should we hold them accountable? Absolutely. But keep in mind that it is very, very difficult to look in the mirror and see one’s own shadowy monster. We don’t want to believe it lives in us so we spend much of our lives foisting it onto others in projection and condemnation. So if you approach these people with anger and accusation, you drive them deeper into their denial. Holding them still to look in the mirror is like holding their head underwater. How badly do you want that first gasp of air? That will be the magnitude of that struggle to ignore and look away from the carnage that one has done by projecting their own shadow.

It doesn’t just affect the one who is holding the mirror for those in denial of their own projections, it hurts the world. Those who come to bring humanity a gift lose much when they are hamstrung or crucified but humanity loses more. The gift that their life is and that they came to bring is never given and humanity (people) loose and humanity (the collective) loses. What was lost when Diana was hounded by the press? Made fun of? What about what was lost when she was chased by paparrzi that last day of her life? The loss is immeasurable. For her, for her family, for us and for what didn’t happen because she was no longer here to complete her mission. What did the world lose because Diana is not here to champion it?

The same is true of Michael Jackson. Those who used him to sell tabloids- with copious untruths and slanderous mischief, those “journalists” who made their careers off him by taking their pound of flesh at every opportunity and if there was no opportunity that day, they made one up, those who were hangers on and sycophants and concierge doctors, those who were acquaintances or brief employees who sold stories encouraged by checkbook journalists, those who sought vicarious fame on coattails that weren’t their own wardrobe, those who were closet racists or overt racists who couldn’t abide a black man embraced or beloved, those who wanted him “out of the neighborhood” whether that was the neighborhood of the music business, law or media, those who made a buck in their six degrees– they are all culpable and they all have a hand in damaging not just Michael, but the world because of their own internal darkness.

This story illustrates just a tiny part of the carnage and resulting damage; it highlights only a fraction of this game of media and industrial destruction and their for-profit games. This is but a tiny illustration of the mirror and shadow and what unleashed Shadenfreude can do to a life, the life of a world and its people– and its humanity. And keep in mind Michael Jackson was known planet wide and his work was everywhere– so the gift was given on behalf of humanity because that was his platform and it was how he thought.

The following is an interview with Anjelica Huston the actress who toured with Michael Jackson for a Disney movie. She speaks about her memories of Michael Jackson:


By Silvia Bizio (C) 2009 Los Angeles translated from Italian to English by Isabella, from the Inner Michael family.

Anjelica Huston: “I had seen him a month ago, he told me that they stole a dream from him. He died of a broken heart. Michael was like a shaman capable of penetrating into your dreams. A unique human being. He died of a broken heart.”

So says Anjelica Huston, who in 1986 had worked with Michael Jackson in the short film Captain Eo in 3-D, directed by Francis Ford Coppola and produced to Disneyland and Disney World. A film in which Huston played a witch against whom Jackson, hero of the title role, was fighting to save humanity. The actress, 58, daughter of legendary director John Huston, had just begun to recover from grief for the death, last December, of her husband, sculptor Robert Graham, when she learned of Jackson’s death. “Another terrible grief – she says, reached at his home in Venice – I cherished a special affection for him.”

Mrs. Huston, how do you remember Michael Jackson at the time of the shooting of Captain Eo?
“I remember the first time I arrived on set, at five in the morning, he was already dressed up and with make up on, beautiful, a little androgynous and vaguely alien. I was amazed.”

Did you know him already?
“No, I had only seen him in newspapers or on TV. But in person it was different. He was upsetting, in positive sense, I mean. The way he worked, his professionalism, the perfectionism with which he studied and performed every song and choreography was admirable. After two hours of makeup every day I always felt impatient, he did not blink. He used to take my hand and calm me immediately.”

At that time Michael was a mega-superstar. One could notice?
“Of course! On the set he had a huge trailer and was followed by a lawyer, the managers and bodyguards. He had his personal chef, like a sheik. Every day he received visits from some star: on the first day of shooting Sophia Loren arrived, then Elizabeth Taylor and then almost all the biggest stars of those years. ”

You became friends?
“Yes he was very sweet and shy. He invited me to lunch in his trailer, where he used to enjoy himself watching cartoons on TV. In some ways he was, in fact, like a child, only physically grown up, a real Peter Pan, introverted but also eccentric, electrifying, he wound up incredibly in front of the audience. ”

Was he good at acting?
“At first he found it hard to express feelings such as anger, as if that gene did not exist in his DNA. He could instead express pain and tenderness. I remember the morning when, after a week of camera turned on me, we would have to shoot his scenes, and I was annoyed because he demanded, that I would act my cues all dressed as a witch, with all the make up on, although I was not supposed to be filmed. Yet, when he climbed onto the platform and began to sing and dance, my heart started pounding, I was shivering. A spell, a force of nature. A performance of pure talent that I had never seen before.”

Have you seen hem recently?
“After Captain Eo I met him rarely… But, ironically, I saw him about a month ago, by chance, in the office of our dermatologist, Arnie Klein. We hugged and we were locked in one of the rooms and chat for a couple of hours. We talked about how he had felt humiliated by the accusation of sexual harassment and about the sorrow for the loss of Neverland, where he had lived many years.”

What did he say?
“I remember his words: ‘They ruined my dream. I had this dream, perhaps childish and foolish, a place designed to celebrate the innocence of that childhood that I never had, and they took it from me. I love children, I could never do them harm. I spent all my life to love them and try to do good things for them. The libel of harming a child, that breaks my heart. It is an unbearable pain, those accusations are unjust and terrible…’ As he said these things, he began to cry. I held him in my arms… He was so skinny and frail.”

Did he mention future projects?
“He told me he was preparing the London concerts. I told him ‘I advise you not to cancel a sole show, or they’ll slaughter you.’ He said:  ‘I know, so I’m preparing myself for the better, because otherwise I will have no more hope to be loved back again’. He was thin and pale, but with all the makeup he had, even just to see a dermatologist, you could not tell how it was underneath. One thing I can say, I could feel so much pain in him for the past and a lot of anxiety and uncertainty for the future.”

What do you think really killed Michael Jackson?
“Michael had a broken heart. For this he died. Of course, with the autopsy they will find many things, drugs and so on. But the truth is that they broke his heart.”

What is his legacy?
“Michael has changed the world. It changed everything in the lives of African Americans, proving that there is no barrier between whites and blacks. He really was both white and black. There were others such as Elvis Presley, but never like Michael Jackson. He had something alien that no one else had, and no one else will ever have. ”


So why is this all important– what happens when shadow is allowed to run loose in the world without restraint and without culpability? When people commit acts of violence on another whether in the guise of the “truth,” the “law,” the “public’s right to know,” in the name of the first amendment, to underhandedly rid one’s neighborhood of  “unsavory elements” by employing vigilante tactics, to infuse one’s own religious beliefs into situations and manipulate the outcome, for commerce or the greater good to sell justice or newspapers or lies in the guise of righteously indignant justification, they steal something valuable from the rest of us. They steal the gifts, the progress, the forward momentum, the enlightenment and the very soul of humanity.

When Lee Harvey Oswald took President Kennedy’s life he stole something from me, from you, from the world and from the future. How are we to ever know what gifts of the genius of a singular man were withheld from us because of his death? How will we ever know what future was not, because of the early demise of a leader? Lee Harvey Oswald took away the future, the world, history, human potential and the advancement of our humanity. Sirhan Sirhan took it when he shot Robert Kennedy; James Earl Ray took it from us when he assassinated Martin Luther King; Al Qaeda has taken our innocent freedoms and a safe and bright future from the youth of the world. Those who plot against leadership or conscript their shadow for profit, fame or self aggrandizement commit unmeasured and immeasurable crimes, for they steal elements of humanity and its future– the paparazzi took it too when Diana died in a dark tunnel. And those who took their ounce or pound of flesh at the expense of Michael Jackson to serve their shadow are thieves and we are the victims of their crimes.

By what right do these people commit such crimes against humanity? By their arrogance. By their personal view of what is just, justifiable or right in the fantasy of their own minds.  So because of the fantasies of others, we are compelled to suffer these immeasurable losses. The arrogance of that assumption is illustrated graphically by an act of fantasy played out in Manhattan in 2001; it was an imagined grievance begun in a mind against America that was expanded by one man– Osama bin Laden. 

That ultimate act of arrogance differs from the others only by degree, not by principle. The most dangerous words in the English language can be: “Here, I know what’s best for you.” The sublime arrogance of some in powerful positions is matched only by their feverish scramble to excuse themselves from the presence of their own shadow and Shadenfreude.

A small example of what not only Michael lost, but what many children lost, their parents lost, their lives lost, their psyches lost, the demonstration of compassion that the world lost because they never saw the stewardship of children and responsibility for their welfare role modeled by example to them in the “it takes a village” tradition of healing planned for Neverland.

David Nordahl, Michael’s artist and friend, provided Michael Jackson with the commissioned sketches of the Neverland Dream completed. They included a high-rise of condos architecturally designed to look like a high-as-a-cliff series of dwellings nestled in a massive concrete tree house. Each condo had a huge bay window facing the outside with an unobstructed view of Neverland with an outdoor theater screen looming across the landscape. Each apartment was wired with sound leading from that movie screen. The condos were furnished with state of the art hospital equipment and beds. Those beds were placed in front of the expansive windows so that the bed’s occupant could clearly see the opposing outdoor movie screen.

Some descriptors of Neverland recall the outdoor movie screen and remarked how it eerily played cartoons to an invisible audience and how spooky they found that seemingly empty attempt at amusement. What they didn’t know was the mind and heart of Michael Jackson: The reason for the condos was to host, free of charge, gravely ill and dying children and their parents at Neverland.

Michael had lots of experience hosting children at Neverland and witnessed firsthand how it could be a life changing experience. He had coached enough children about using affirmations (written and repeated declarations) to create a new reality and meditation in the form of visualizations to defeat disease. He had taught them how to imagine their cancer cells being eaten up by little healing pac-man characters inside their bodies. He had observed firsthand too, how the right music piped in through Neverland speakers made the flowers grow bigger and more beautiful and the grass grow greener and more lush.

Michael Jackson studied the cutting edge healing methods and knew that laughter is the best medicine, that humor heals, that negative emotions harm while positive ones heal the body. It’s quite possible that he was familiar with the beneficial effects of negative ions on mood– Neverland had fountains everywhere. Falling water produces negative ions; that’s why standing near a waterfall feels so good.

He obviously read Anatomy of An Illness and other works by Norman Cousins, the work of Patch Adams and other physician healers who understood holistic medicine, and how the Marx Brothers comedy contributed to understanding laughter’s effects on the body.  The movie screen was programmed to play cartoons night and day in a continual loop because Michael knew that children who are sick often wake up frightened at night and these children would have something funny to watch to forget their troubles. Michael knew from his research that human hormones, chemicals, systems and cells function better in a positive and upbeat environment than they do in a room-darkened gloomy sickroom atmosphere. He had studied how merriment decreases pain, elevates the body’s endorphins and increased the effects of natural hormones and medications. He knew the value of meditation and visualization and he had taught those methods to many children including the boy with cancer who eventually ended up accusing him of the unspeakable. Michael did not harm children; Michael Jackson was a healer.

Who knows what advances in medicine or the healing arts might have come about by Michael’s underwriting of attending doctors and researchers at Neverland following these cases? The research didn’t happen because the experiment didn’t happen. So thanks to the selfish actions of a few arrogant souls focused only on themselves and their personally invented righteousness and the collective mind of the public conscripted to go along for the ride, children were not healed because the arrogance of a few dark minds led the pack that broke the Neverland Dream.

Those who did not know the whole story laughed. Many made fun of the man who knew more than they could ever imagine about how to heal and what alternative and cutting edge technologies worked in bringing about remissions and healings. These are technologies used in major general hospitals today. Michael Jackson was implementing them in the late eighties and the early nineties.

The healing center planned for the complex at Neverland Valley Ranch was never built because one selfish man wanted to use Michael Jackson and his generosity toward children for personal gain and in revenge for not getting what he wanted. He wanted Michael Jackson to bankroll his home and career and Michael suspected he was being used and declined.

David Nordahl says that Sony was going to financially underwrite the clinic Michael planned to build. He says that a certain individual expected to be a partner in that business and when that didn’t happen, he was enraged and went after Michael with a mad-dog attorney.

The money that was to fund the Neverland dream of a family and home centered healing clinic was paid out in an out of court settlement. Later, the boy who made an accusation about Michael with the help of others hired and recruited by his father would file for, and receive, emancipation from his parents. That father would eventually assault his son and become estranged from him, then contract a grave illness and commit suicide shortly after Michael’s death.

There are enough victims to go around in this scenario: the father, a victim of the “selfish kind of love” Michael sings of in Man in the Mirror; the boy held hostage and thrust into the media frenzy by parents deep into their own shadow; the parents whose ego felt so powerless and impotent and who believed so little in their own abilities to make their lives successful that they had to grab for a brass ring that belonged to someone else; those who used Michael out of the fear of not being enough to create their own success autonomously; the public duped into believing dark fiction about a naive humanitarian whose only crime was believing in magic– and that it can heal; the children who never came to benefit from new and cutting edge holistic medicine; the parents who lost an opportunity to be with their children at a magical place at the end of their lives or at the turning point toward remission; the field of medicine that never saw this experiment nor its outcomes; the delay in implementation of these holistic therapies because the Neverland dream was destroyed by a cynical few benefitting from a contrived frenzy that fueled the public ridicule and dismemberment of Michael Jackson for… was it… cash? Building a career as a “Jackson expert?” Vicarious fame? Entertainment? Tabloid or media market share? Or was it just… sport? A blood sport that harmed victims that will forever remain invisible. And us and the child in all of us.

There are those who will still laugh at Michael’s expense– or so they think. It is actually at their own. There are those who would say that this plan of Michael Jackson’s to “save the world” or “save the children” was the silly pipe dream of an eccentric and delusional entertainer and “pop star.” Those would be the people who forget about the 1985 “We Are the World” project spearheaded by Michael Jackson that fed most of starving Africa and later, half of the world.

Those would be the same people who forgot that Michael Jackson started the trend of “rock stars” leveraging their influence for humanitarian efforts. Those would be the people who do not know about all the Michael Jackson and Friends concerts over the span of his career that raised millions for social causes and those touched by misfortune– including the Nine-Eleven families.

Those would be the forgetters, the detractors, the haters, those who read tabloids and believe,  perhaps even the ones who are innocently uninformed, and certainly the ones who avoid the mirror that simply stands and without fanfare, emotion or judgement silently asks: “And who are you being in the world?”

The references to Neverland, accusations and money paid out continue to haunt the man’s legacy. But that doesn’t change the truth: The money that was paid out in the 1993 case accusing Michael of harming children was going to pay for the condo healing center for sick and dying children– a gift to them, their parents, and the world from Michael Jackson. It was the Neverland Dream.


(C) lymmjjrip 6.2011. B. Kaufmann


  1. Angela said . . .

    Thank you for another excellent post, Barbara. Your reference to “dark fiction” brings to mind two supposed biographies of Michael, which I read recently as part of the research I undertook after his death. I thought I was prepared for some hateful fiction, but they were outrageous. One was from 1994 by Andersen and the other was the well-known book by Taraborrelli. When I read a comment recently by a journalist-supporter of Michael’s that he considers the second book to be the definitive biography of MJ, I was surprised and dismayed. Whatever the obstacles, we must encourage writers such as you to publish the truth in book form. And then of course, we must purchase those books. I know we’re anticipating a new (positive) book on the market this fall – which is great news. Let’s hope there will be many more to come. We need respectful, truthful, comprehensive biographies of Michael that we can recommend/give to friends and other folks. That would be another way (as a supplement to his music) to send out a major love to the people we would like to educate! Keep up the great work! Angela

    Posted June 9, 2011 at 10:31 pm | Permalink
  2. Lauren said . . .

    This is exactly why I do what I do. If Michael’s dream was stolen then I intend to be a part of clearing his memory and legacy to open eyes to who this man truly was. Barbara is right… a few decided for us what we heard, read and thought we knew about Michael. And the many live with the consequence of that deception. The ‘experts’ know nothing. Michael said that his life was written for him and that he proved his part. He also said that those who lied and betrayed him will face God in judgement one day. I know the names and faces… we all do. I am not at the point of compassion but I understand accountability and that is due. Soon.

    Posted June 10, 2011 at 1:05 am | Permalink
  3. nan said . . .

    That was so beautifully expressed and so very true. It is a loss to the entire world. I do think that these people who seem so suspicious of someone capable of unconditional love must have never received any. They must not believe it really exists. I have wondered if some of these people alone with their private thoughts, have ever doubted or wavered in their convictions that they were right to do this to another human being? To twist the truth, fabricate garbage, railroad someone all the while using the same children they are supposedly protecting to do so? Did any inkling that greed, jealousy, racism or revenge could be a factor, ever cross their minds? Never any reflection on what they were doing? His innocence was actually pointed out piece by piece to them in a court of law, and some still refuse to accept the truth. So I just don’t think they can because if you were to acknowledge it, how could you live with it? I loved reading your piece. Thank you so much for the opportunity to read this.

    Posted June 10, 2011 at 2:29 am | Permalink
  4. Sue Springer said . . .

    Thank you for this loving piece, Rev. B. Anjelica is so correct — as much as he tried to move forward, I have always believed his heart was broken after the trial – it was written on his beautiful face. I love her comment about Michael not having much of an anger gene in his DNA. Two years on, the pain is still acute, and I feel so sorry for those who cannot see the gift that he was. They have missed so much love. As angry as some of them make me, I still pray that one day they will understand and heal. Love and peace all.

    Posted June 10, 2011 at 4:19 am | Permalink
  5. Suvie said . . .

    This made me ‘weep’ yet again… for my-self and ‘us’. God, where was I then? And what is worse is that I am missing even now…

    Posted June 10, 2011 at 9:28 am | Permalink
  6. Lynne said . . .

    This moved me to tears that haven’t stopped. Good tears – clearing tears. Oh my gosh – what was possible was taken – I feel a mixture of anger and sadness and ownership. Ownership that, though I didn’t utter the lies, I did see the stories written and for a brief moment I started to wonder and that makes me mad – very mad. I am grateful for your writings Barbara because I see my shadow side more clearly then ever. Tears flow at the thought of what that center might have been. I am a healer as well and this touched me deeply. I wish – I wish in my heart of hearts that I had the means to move this dream forward – inspired by Michael. I rest with that thought and I will continue, from this moment forward, to be a brighter advocate for all Michael’s dreams and to truly live the visions that I have carried in my heart. The world cannot afford to have any of us deny living the light that shines through us.

    Posted June 10, 2011 at 2:19 pm | Permalink
  7. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    In the words of a Skinny Little Moonwalker, (And I think he’d want me to say this:) “God Bless You.”

    Posted June 10, 2011 at 5:49 pm | Permalink
  8. Heidi said . . .

    This piece moved me very deeply as well but, can you imagine if one mind in the head of Osama Bin Laden, or one mind in the head of Adolf Hitler can cause that much pain and darkness and destruction, how much more can we, who number in the millions reverse this thing and make Michael’s dream come true for this world! Now more than ever, I refuse to let this go, refuse complacent, and most of all, I refuse to allow Michael’s heart to remain broken. Not on my watch. Michael paid the ultimate price. For us. But we will make him proud. What he did was worth it; we hear Michael. Even now. And Neverland? Oh it’s up and running beautifully! Just because you can’t “see” something with your physical eyes doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Darkness never trumps The Light and all the children who have passed since Michael, whether it be from illness, natural disaster, or brutality, go to Neverland if they wish for joy and soul healing from the Master soul healer.

    Posted June 11, 2011 at 12:12 am | Permalink
  9. Susan Trout said . . .

    There are times when I fear I just can’t read any more painful revelations. This is one of them. How can anyone look at that picture of Michael with that little burned child and dare to think he was capable of such a demented act? Propofol stopped the beating of his heart, but he died because his heart was broken. I cannot dwell on what was done to him. I am overcome with savage grief. I am filled with such sorrow. It’s too late to apologize but we can re-write HIStory. We must. We owe him that much.

    Posted June 11, 2011 at 9:25 am | Permalink
  10. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    I know, Susan. I know.

    Posted June 11, 2011 at 12:43 pm | Permalink
  11. Ardell said . . .

    I didn’t think that a heart once broken could continue to break, but after reading this post, mine surely is. It reminds me of the words of John Greenleaf Whittier: “Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest of these: It might have been.” What an amazing vision Michael had for Neverland, not at all hard to believe given his dedication and love for children in need. Is it completely out of the realm of possibility for Michael’s dream of a healing center to one day come true? Could it happen in some way, shape or form? I pray, pray, pray that Neverland will eventually belong to his children who by all accounts possess the same qualities of compassion and generosity that Michael did. If the sketches exist that reflect Michael’s plan, why couldn’t they be resurrected and revisited? Imagine it. As a medical professional, I for one, would be first in line to volunteer my services in memory of Michael. From all that I have read, he was never one to give up on an idea or a dream he held close. Neverland in my mind sits on hallowed ground and is a treasure to be forever protected and used as only Michael would have wished. Thank you Reverend Barbara for your enlightening work. It, without question, should be compiled and published. It serves as a remarkable tribute to Michael and a priceless gift to all of us who love him.

    Posted June 11, 2011 at 1:24 pm | Permalink
  12. Dalia said . . .

    It hurts me that Michael felt this way in his final days. It hurts me that nobody has been able to rescue him and seeing him as in bad shape and nobody realized his fragility? I can see it in “This Is It” the movie. There is a saying: “the thread is broken by the most slender” Everyone forgot that Michael was a human being. Nobody seems to have noticed; it breaks my heart.

    Posted June 11, 2011 at 2:51 pm | Permalink
  13. Robbie M said . . .

    Just when I think my heart cannot possibly hurt any more than it already does, when I think the tears are over with I read this painful account of the total destruction of a beautiful dream, imagined by a beautiful man. Angelica Huston`s account of her last conversation with Michael is just too much to bear. “I`m preparing myself for the better, because otherwise I will have no more hope to be loved back again.” Those achingly sad words reveal the depth of despair this poor soul was in. All for corporate profit, and a certain voyeuristic pleasure. Well not in my name, now or ever!

    Posted June 11, 2011 at 5:34 pm | Permalink
  14. Heidi said . . .

    Boy, the “rebel” in me is really activated right now. Anybody else? Is anyone besides me completely done with being told by “them” how things will be? Is anyone else done with the world riding up and over Michael Jackson? Is anyone else done with THINKING SMALL? Reverend Barbara you really stirred the hornet’s nest. Enough is enough of this garbage. We literally globally number in the millions. Could we hold the thought until it becomes reality for Neverland to be re-purchased by those who see and uphold Michael’s vision? Why not? Can you imagine returning to the ancient practices of healing through higher vibration? The land is still there, waiting. The dream is still there, waiting. Michael is still there, waiting. For us.

    Posted June 12, 2011 at 12:39 am | Permalink
  15. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    Aho Heidi. ~B

    Posted June 12, 2011 at 12:58 am | Permalink
  16. Suvie said . . .

    Barbara, did you see the story from Seven about a fan who came up onstage during the Heal the World? That fan had lost the sensation in her right hand some years before. She claims that when Michael held her hand on stage, she felt a burning sensation. Next day, the feeling was back in her right hand!

    Posted June 12, 2011 at 8:54 pm | Permalink
  17. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    I saw it; there are many of those stories. Michael tried to speak of the healing power of love and of actual healings and nobody took him seriously. Someday it will be revealed when the world has ‘ears to hear.’ Keep the faith and keep movin’.

    Posted June 12, 2011 at 9:04 pm | Permalink
  18. gertrude said . . .

    “Michael tried to speak of the healing power of love and of actual healings and nobody took him seriously.” Well there are a multi-million somebodies around the planet who can take him seriously, NOW. Michael said we had 4 years to get it right. That was 2 years ago. I confess when reading Barbara’s writing I started to shake my head, entertaining wisps of the idea that if we can still do this to a magnificent loving person such as Michael 2000 years after the brutish annihilation of the magnificent loving man Michael followed, then will anything ever really change here, and if so why hasn’t it? The scourging, crown of thorns, nails, the cross, the lance piercing the body – all of this happened again in a 2005 courtroom, and in a salivating, mad-dog media frenzy.

    Then I read through the comments, all expressing one form or another of commitment to upholding Michael’s dreams now more than ever – and got “back in the saddle,” Thank You. Who would have thought that our lives would be so permanently and drastically changed by Michael Jackson? Who would have ever thought he would set us so thoroughly on the course our souls long for, and a course of no return? When I first saw Billie Jean, Thriller, Smooth Criminal and on and on, I knew he was an utterly mesmerizing artist without parallel – but I never, ever anticipated this. My greatest pain and shame is that he had to die before I woke up! Thank-you Barbara and all who come here to speak, for making me see I owe it to him not to despair of this world. I owe it to him, and to all the fallen. If I give up on it they will have died in vain. How foolish of me.

    Posted June 13, 2011 at 1:31 am | Permalink
  19. Kim said . . .

    Barbara, I can’t tell you how frustrated I feel knowing that Michael’s dream was interrupted because of greed, jealousy and whatever else. As it is, the emotions are running pretty rampant this week as we approach the 2 year anniversary. As I discover more information about Michael and the things that he was doing to try and make this world a better place, I feel my anger welling up inside. I really have to take a step back and not let the anger consume me. I am successful because I only want to focus on the positive and appreciate the gifts that Michael did leave for us.

    By some miracle if there is a way where we can help make Michael’s dream a reality, I would certainly be up for it. It so beautiful to hear stories about how Michael healed people. For those who don’t believe or laughed at Michael, I only feel sadness for them. I believe in the healing power of love and positive affirmations. I see it in my own life. I truly believe. I really wish I would win the lottery. The first thing I would do is purchase Neverland, hire a committee of people who can provide the skills, resources and direction to help make Michael’s dream a reality and then I would hold the biggest grand opening possible. Wouldn’t that be something? It would certainly be done in memory of Michael, it would be done for the children, it would be done for love.

    Posted June 13, 2011 at 3:30 am | Permalink
  20. Lynne said . . .

    To all who are writing that want to carry this vision Michael had for Neverland forward. I am definitely committed, not sure how but I don’t want to lose the juice from this email. Barbara what would you suggest? Guidance, clarity? This feeling of pain, anger, love concern is fuel for great things.

    Posted June 14, 2011 at 3:06 pm | Permalink
  21. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    One of the intentions for writing this post is to move readers from the helplessness of grief to the energy of anger. Helplessness can be a moribund state that can keep one stuck and complacent but the energy of anger can be used to move forward out of the grief and into action. The most fundamental way to manifest a dream into a reality is to focus on the image of the dream with enough force of emotion to will it into being in one’s life. Read that again for you have just read the definition of prayer- scientific prayer. Remember that Michael posted the note that the Thriller album would sell all those copies? He posted it so as to look at it and focus on that affirmation daily seeing it as already done. He imagined it into being– with the that same science of prayer. Before something can be built or come into being, it must first be imagined. The imaginary image or dream, (visualized as completed) held in the mind is the intention of what one wants to manifest. The intention is the blueprint for the reality. Picture that new shiny bicycle with enough conviction and it is yours, remember? Everthing is created in space just as Michael said it was. One person’s intention is powerful; what do you think would happen with one million? Imagine it.

    Posted June 14, 2011 at 5:52 pm | Permalink
  22. Sheryl said . . .

    Finally, tonight, I found a few extra minutes to finally get back to your website, Barbara. It’s incredible to read this piece at this time. In a week several world-wide friends (friends unknown to each other before 6.25.09, but who came together because of the energy of Michael and the power of internet communication) will be meeting together in LA. We’ll be traveling to Neverland and we will be taking these thoughts, ideas and dreams along with us. Maybe…just maybe…we will all begin envisioning. All of us are in awe of the energy that’s overcome us. None of us would have dreamed two years ago that we’d be on this journey. And there are thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, no, millions of us. Let’s keep this going. As someone said above, Michael is waiting.

    Posted June 15, 2011 at 1:23 am | Permalink
  23. Jeanann said . . .

    I wonder if Michael’s executors and the partners, who jointly control Neverland, know about Michael’s dream? Is there some way to get this information to them? I’ve heard that there has been some discussion about starting a music school there. I could see both projects working in conjunction with each other. The music students could do research on the power of music to heal by working with these children, along with Michael’s ideas on healing. It could be ground-breaking research.

    “This Is It” would have been so amazing! I wish he would have the opportunity to do it at least one show with his children there to watch. I could just imagine the audience roar with approval. Michael was BACK! I just wish that he had been able to have that one last glorious affirmation; after all he had suffered, he deserved it. Karen Faye also said, in her interview with 20/20 last year, that Michael was afraid because he didn’t want to be “judged” all over again. His words to Anjelica confirms this. I am happy, though, that Michael knew how great the shows was going to be, and the fact that he sold out 50 concerts in a matter of hours, HAD to prove to him he was still loved, trusted and cherished.

    Posted June 15, 2011 at 2:07 pm | Permalink
  24. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    My guess is that Mr. Branca would have known of Michael’s dream. He was not only his attorney, but his friend. The healing properties and the quantum world of sound and music are just beginning to be known. (More about this in the future.) I suspect that Michael, as we speak, is using a new kind of magic with children who are new arrivals at the healing music center that he manages now.

    Posted June 15, 2011 at 3:09 pm | Permalink
  25. Heidi said . . .

    YES Reverend B, YES. I have goose bumps and my soul is trying to jump out of my body with affirmation to your last comment. Please… not “maybe we can envision”, WE MUST. We must hold this as a CONSTANT THOUGHT throughout the day. EVERY day. Put post-its all over your bathroom mirror like Michael did if that will help. Did people funtion on a completely different level than Michael’s vision? Would Michael have never lost Neverland had they been “on board” with him? Did Michael-the-moneymaker trump Michael-the-visionary in their eyes? but miracles WILL happen. They simply must. Thank you!

    Posted June 15, 2011 at 9:44 pm | Permalink
  26. Lynne said . . .

    Thank you Barbara – I am going to do just what you describe – thank you so much for your response. Imagine – and imagine even more. I hope others who are called will join because yes – a million strong visioning with equal intent – unbelievable things can happen. I feel a strong call to somehow generate action to bring about the hospice center – somehow some way. Don’t know why or how just yet but I will keep visioning and listen for the inspired action. In a way – in a strong way – my coming back to read this latest post – definitely jump started my life. I was stuck in grief and helplessness – yes I am moving from anger into action.

    Posted June 15, 2011 at 10:21 pm | Permalink
  27. Dalia said . . .

    Only to share this link with you Barbara. It is Tom Mesereau tribute to MJ, I considered beautiful.

    Posted June 16, 2011 at 2:04 am | Permalink
  28. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    I deleted a suggestion about post-it notes at Neverland as that would not be respectful on holy ground. Neverland valley is holy ground that once belonged to native brothers and sisters and to a steward who loved nature, animals and the earth. Prayer that uses visualization, emotion and conviction works better than post-it notes. Imagine the perfect outcome in your mind holding the energy of that picture and infuse it with emotion. It is crucial to see the outcome as already done and feel how that perfect outcome feels. If Neverland is to be restored to glory whether in this realm or another, picture its perfection and feel the joy. When you visit Neverland– see its glory, feel the joy, and expand the love in your heart until it fills the entire valley for then the healing of the land begins. If you visit- either in person or in spirit, breathe and bless everything there– the trees, the rocks, the brush, the hills, the mountains, the very soil. First heal the wound; then birth the new beginning.

    Posted June 16, 2011 at 2:24 am | Permalink
  29. gertrude said . . .

    I don’t know if it is possible to share this here but this has turned my tears of savage grief to tears of savage joy and seems to be so in sync with the exhilaration and power of us all envisioning together, with Michael, his (and surely our) DREAMS. This is so glorious and is such an explosion of huge, GLOBAL love for Michael – and by so many YOUNG people that it has filled me with more hope than I have felt since he passed. Its the world premier of the crowd-sourced behind The Mask video. For Michael!

    Posted June 16, 2011 at 2:57 am | Permalink
  30. Regina said . . .

    This article was just beautiful! Many tears are still shed over loosing Michael because we feel his goodness. There was a reason that he touched so many of us in such a remarkable and deep way. Michael was here for a reason and his fame and hurt unfortunately had to be in order for the world to acknowledge his existence. Strange as it may seem, the impact of how and what he went through in his lifetime was such a jolt that we can never forget him. That he made such an impact to the entire world was not a coincidence. The seed had to be embedded in our psyche of Michael and his dream of love of mankind that we will forever fight to make it come to pass. You see him in every aspect of musical entertainment and the entertainment field is what the world is about now so the message comes back to Michael and his message. At some point we will bring the love back into this world; we work to make it happen.

    Posted June 16, 2011 at 7:29 am | Permalink
  31. Robbie M said . . .

    Thank you Rev. Barbara for your guidance on visualising Neverland healed and complete the way Michael intended it to be. Reading all these comments I have a strong feeling that we are all ready for a rebirth as well, from despair springs hope, we must be strong for Michael and his dream, the journey is a learning curve for all who are on it. There is so much to do, but I`m in such good company with you all nothing seems impossible! Love and blessings from Scotland

    Posted June 16, 2011 at 9:48 pm | Permalink
  32. judi said . . .

    I believe his dream is being birthed in the heart of one of his children. At 56 years of age, I hope to live long enough to see one of his children realize his dream, and all of them vindicate his name, this is my constant prayer.

    Posted July 15, 2011 at 3:08 am | Permalink
  33. Kathy said . . .

    Here it is, over a year since this was originally posted, and the vision has grown enough to attract my heart. After visiting Neverland for the second time in June, I asked Michael what HE wanted for Neverland. Fans have ideas, the Estate has their ideas. We read that after the desecration of Neverland he never wanted to return. Does that mean he would disapprove of others bringing his dream to life there? Well, after asking him, Iwas led to this article. I personally would give my all to see his dreams come true. Has anyone made any progress since last year?

    Posted July 27, 2012 at 5:41 pm | Permalink
  34. B. Kaufmann said . . .

    Hello K. and welcome. I have edited the parts out of this comment that are private as I protect individual privacy here at IM. I don’t put people in touch with each other except for here on the website and we post instead of chat. There are reasons for that- too many people have been hurt by betrayals when fans get emotionally charged and act without thinking of how people are hurt and the consequences of uncivil behavior. Fans behaving uncivily dishonor his memory so that is not allowed here. This is a research project that looks into his cultural impact as well as who he was, what he did and what he stood for.

    I don’t think Michael would be opposed to restoring Neverland but that will be up to his children as they own a large share. The real estate speculator/developer, who owns it is very respectful of Michael, I’m told, and has restored some things to their original condition. There are those who already work with the energies to change the spirit of the land. Contacting the people you mentioned without a cogent and organized plan and formal organization might have negative results. The estate would be very particular about who and how a project like that would be accomplished. As well they should be. If it is ordained, someday it will come to be. Many hold space for that eventuality.

    Posted July 27, 2012 at 10:49 pm | Permalink

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