Inner Michael » Third World Medicine

Third World Medicine

I vividly remember walking through a hospital in Siberia that had dirt floors that were visible under the scarce floorboards I was standing on. Under my feet were slats that looked as if they were requisitioned from the reject pile at a cargo crates factory. The plumbing required that used toilet paper be placed in a nearby garbage can because the plumbing couldn’t handle it; flushing was accomplished with pouring more water in the bowl and a prayer. Infection control was a nightmare for the medical teams and for a room full of premature babies, there was only one ventilator—and it was a relic. 

But this is not Siberia. This is America. We are not in a third world country—except in the few square feet of Michael Jackson’s extra bedroom. The scene described in that room, the equipment and the medical treatment was third world. What was reiterated in the courtroom in Los Angeles last week was the kind of thing one might have expected after the Indonesian Tsunami or the earthquake in Haiti. That brand of medicine might have worked in those situations, and even saved lives. But there was no earthquake, Tsunami, flood or forest fire on Carolwood Drive in Holmby Hills during June of 2009. At least there was no perceptible disaster before Michael Jackson’s death. How was it that third world medicine was being practiced in America in a mansion that was home to the most famous man and musician on earth?

I was mortified. Horrified. Not just because it was so horrific to hear, to watch and to try to digest, but because it was a medical practitioner who knew better. A physician is charged with the health of his patients. And in this case, he only had one patient he was responsible for—Michael Jackson. When you are responsible for only one patient, how does that patient die on your watch? Without intervention? Without 911?

Sometimes it doesn’t pay to know more than the “lay person” because the knowledge makes the situation and the emotional reaction, worse. And this was certainly the case for me and for other medical practitioners as we followed the pre-trial hearings of Conrad Murray. Since that’s our field, and we routinely use that equipment and follow those protocols, it was appalling to hear how  the ethics, practice, treatment and standard of care in our profession was trampled by one man who ignored and violated the protocols that most of us religiously follow and consider sacred.

We spoke often about what the setup and environment must have been like. We spoke about the IV setup and the drip mechanism. My greatest consternation was that there was no IV infusion pump at the scene where a known dangerous and powerful drug capable of killing was being administered. At least none was identified on scene. A bolus (infusing a pre-determined amount all at once via syringe) would make sense provided the amount was carefully monitored and the patient was monitored. But the only thing that would explain the amount of Propofol found in Michael Jackson’s tissues per the toxicology report, is that someone had hung a drip and too much of the drug was delivered.

Then we heard a security member describe something that sounded like a makeshift and jury-rigged infusion drip—a Propofol bottle upside down in a slit IV bag with a port to infuse—but no pump! A pump would have regulated the drip and infusion and would have prevented a death. We felt outrage as the testimony confirmed there was no minimally required monitors or alarms. We felt rage. And we felt shame. Crippling shame.

Propofol is not a benign drug. It is dangerous. It was never meant to be utilized outside a hospital room equipped for critical care and certainly is never administered for sleep. The only thing that explains this perfect storm of incompetent recklessness is that Michael Jackson was desperate for sleep. Insomnia is not pretty and its effects are devastating. The military effectively uses sleep deprivation on its conscripts in basic training to render them malleable and trainable. Sleep deprivation is a form of acceptable torture in the military where interrogators are attempting to extract information related to national security and intelligence matters. It’s a very effective form of torture. For people who suffer from it, it is torture and they become desperate for relief. Sleep deprivation can cause anxiety, paranoia, irritability and erratic moods and behaviors. I understand how Michael would have needed sleep so desperately that he said “make it happen.” I am convinced he never understood fully the dangers of that nightly procedure. If he fully understood the dangers, he would have not allowed it. But if you’re a provider and trying to make yourself necessary in order to collect a non-stop paycheck, you might downplay the dangers of your particular brand of treatment. How is it that providers, over a period of years, downplayed the dangers of anesthetizing a patient outside a hospital setting? Some say when Michael toured the world, he had a portable, fully equipped hospital room that went with him. A traveling clinic of sorts. And a Licensed Anesthesiologist. Fair enough. Propofol has still never been the treatment of choice for insomnia. On what planet were these people trained? From what solar system have they arrived here?

What took place in Michael Jackson’s bedroom was third world reckless medicine. It was a risk that any intelligent and principled physician would have run from. It ended in someone’s death which was always one of the risks of that medication. And the only reason one covers up after the fact is because one knows that it was wrong in the first place. Sadly right now, right this moment, someone somewhere is doing something that is illegal and risks a life in the name of money. Somewhere someone is betraying trust, revealing a confidence, minimizing a risk, or placing someone’s life in danger. Someone somewhere is completing a medical procedure for which they are not qualified. Someone is practicing concierge medicine. Someone is selling a kidney to feed their family and a doctor is secretly implanting that organ and possibly performing the surgery in a place not equipped for it. I might be able to understand desperation and poverty impacting someone’s medical care, but what I can’t understand is someone being so blatantly reckless when there are resources. Michael Jackson was not broke. There are emergency procedures and equipment, antidotes, blood oxygen level and heart rate monitors, ventilators and for god’s sake—IV infusion pumps that regulate the speed and dose of the drip. Michael had none of these. Impossible!

From what I read and understood, emergency equipment might not have mattered. According to the autopsy report, there was too much Propofol in Michael Jackson’s system; according to the emergency report by the attending paramedics, Michael’s condition upon arrival and with onsite CO2 readings, was already consistent with death. What killed Michael Jackson is substandard medical care performed by a physician who was beyond the scope of his practice and who was reckless and created a climate for sloppy administration of powerful drugs that when misused or administered incorrectly, can kill. And they did.

I am also dismayed because—and you may not want to hear this—it’s not just Murray and his brand of celebrity medicine. It is that Michael (and others before him and I fear after) will always find someone willing to take risks, risk lives and do it for money. Someone can be bought. I believe Michael was desperate for sleep. I believe he had experienced that on tour. I believe someone portably administered Propofol or a similar drug to him countless times before. And I believe he wanted it and may not want to take “no” for an answer. But I seriously doubt that Michael Jackson fully and completely understood how dangerous that drug, and that procedure, really was. He would have, over time, developed a false confidence in its use and in physicians because he was never irreversibly harmed before. In other words, he would become complacent as would they. He trusted his doctors.  Even if someone had told him—and maybe Murray did—we may never know, that this was dangerous and like playing Russian Roulette, Michael would not have believed it. He came through it too many times and woke up just fine. Sleep deprivation and insomnia makes people desperate. I believe Michael was that desperate.

But he wasn’t poor and he wasn’t from a third world country. He was famous and wealthy. And it is not convincing that a piece of equipment that would save his life was not in the budget. If Murray could order and stockpile large quantities of anesthetic and prescription drugs for the London tour claiming it was for his clinic, he could have secured, on the same pretense, a piece of equipment that controls IV drips. No physician who values his license or the practice of medicine would give that medication under the conditions described. It sounds like the medication was delivered via a makeshift contraption with no regulator to safeguard and prevent overdose. It’s equivalent to giving someone a drug that can kill through a coke bottle and a straw. Add distraction of phone calls and other things taking attention from the patient, and you have a situation where—a fatal dose was delivered and now cannot be mitigated or withdrawn. No matter what you do, the patient is on the way to death and is not going to return. If death is a given, then there is no need to hurry to call 911 and there is no need for urgency or correct CPR. You know your patient is not coming back. No matter what. What is left to do? Cover it up. So “finding” a femoral pulse buys more time, more “circulation” to metabolize the drug and prevents the patient being pronounced at home which triggers a coroner’s inquest.

What happened to Michael Jackson should not have happened. Period. Treating insomnia with Propofol is like killing a fly with a grenade instead of a fly swatter. I hope to find out at some time that Michael was tested for seizure disorders, for PTSD, had an MRI and EEG and a battery of tests and lab work. I would hope they tried a C-Pap machine (breathing machine for apnea or suspension of breathing) and completed an overnight sleep study and that everything else was ruled out before resorting to Propofol for sleep. It does not induce sleep; it renders people unconscious. The sleep pattern isn’t even normal and the side effects are cumulative, disorienting and life altering.

I understand how desperate insomniacs are. I understand how miserable.  I understand about night owls and night shifts—having done it; I understand about adrenalin after performances and the mind-racing and burning creative fire that is hard to quell. But there is something very, very wrong with what was allowed, secreted, made to seem normal to Michael and that ultimately killed him. It sounds like it was just a matter of time.

The right person might have helped Michael but he was too married to his work and too dedicated to his art to allow anything to postpone or interrupt it. He was driven. And as an artist, I understand that. But it is the responsibility of those around someone like that to caution and to say “no” when something is so dangerous that death is a possible outcome. And it’s the responsibility of the one who hears “no” to heed it. I blame the first doctor who used Propofol on Michael Jackson to treat insomnia and every one of them along the way who duplicated that abomination. Money talks. Money also kills.

I am a nurse with an extra credential in respiratory care. As a medical person, I know that medicine is not an exact science. I know accidents occur. I know mistakes can be, and are made. I’ve made some. But the obligation “first do no harm” stands. Doing something you know is dangerous and wrong is amoral. The administration of a fatal dose was likely a mistake, but it was an accident at the hands of someone who knew the calculation inherent in the risk. I am sure there was pressure from outsiders to keep Michael fit and rehearsing and on task. That’s the only thing that makes sense of the urgency for treatment. But that pressure on Michael Jackson should have never come in the first place— that’s another story for another time. If only people who were hired to protect, work on behalf of, or care for Michael  had in those many facets of his life—had his best interest at heart. If only those taking care of Michael Jackson had cherished an international treasure. If only the people around him had been principled humans! Instead, he was often surrounded by those with oversized egos, mercenary money siphons, managers who insisted on teaching him a lesson for his maverick genius mind by punishing him for fame and accomplishments. There were those who tried to bleed him of dignity, extort him for cash, who sought vicarious fame by hanging on coattails or conscripting his name or the envious trying to making a name by taking him down—in music, in the media and in the justice system. And yes, there was racism.

I am overwhelmed with disgust. I feel a malignant shame. There is more than enough blame and sadness to go around in this tragedy. And I am sure that everyone involved has gone over it and over it a hundred times. Everyone but the guilty. It won’t bring him back. I am so sorry for the Jackson family and their nightmare. I can’t imagine their pain. And I can’t imagine them telling Prince and Paris and oh god—Blanket. They loved their daddy. He was all they had just as they were all he had, really. “You and me against the world” and sometimes while protecting and shielding the children—only me against the world. Lonely in life and lonely and abandoned in death. God help us.

The hardest part of the testimony for me, as it was for so many who also watched and heard and gasped– was the picture in my mind. It’s the same for others. What I have said to them is that Michael was already gone… And I will instead always remember to see him going from here into the light. I know he saw it and I know he headed that way.



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  1. Anneuk said . . .

    Dear Rev Barbara,
    Yet another post from you that highlights the disgust and outrage felt around the world at the way that Michael passed. Michael put his trust in the wrong person as he had done many times before. I am a layperson and felt this outrage so badly so to read what a medical person feels about it only strengthens my believe that this Dr. only saw the dollar signs. In hindsight I wonder if he would have done anything differently, somehow I doubt it. How can he still be allowed to practise? It is just beyond belief.Why did California wait until now to make a move to take his license away? Why hasn’t the other states he works in done the same? Can’t they see this man must be the most incompetant and grossly negligent Dr. ever? So as you can see I and countless others still feel this huge outrage and probably always will. Is it possible that the investigators can track right back and see who that first person was to decide that Proprofol was the way forward in treasting insomnia? The only comfort I can find in this whole tragic affair is like you, I believe Michael was long gone before anyone realised the seriousness of the situation. Whilst the circus of panic was being played out in his bedroom, Michael was at peace. It makes me so sad that greed by so many people killed Michael. With love Anne

    Posted January 21, 2011 at 12:40 pm | Permalink
  2. Jacques S said . . .

    I agree with you about how Michael passed. It was tragic to loose such a musical genius. I grew up with his music, and still listen to it today. With all the advanced medical screenings, testing, and technology such as EEG’s and MRI scanners, it is truly a case of negligence that he died.

    Posted January 21, 2011 at 3:54 pm | Permalink
  3. Susan T said . . .

    Rev. Barbara, Your last sentence is what keeps me from drowning in a sea of despair and mental anguish. I know that he can never be abused, exploited, tormented and taken for granted again. He is where his beautiful soul is glorified and where his creativity can be expressed without fear of ridicule. He is whole now and more beautiful than we can imagine. One day we will behold him again. I take comfort in that truth. P.S. I only hope the prosecution can be as powerfully articulate and compelling in their testimony as you have been here.

    Posted January 21, 2011 at 9:05 pm | Permalink
  4. Sue Springer said . . .

    Thank you Rev. B. for this perspective from a medical professional’s point of view. I, like you, believe Michael had been lulled into a false sense of security about the use of propofol as a sleep aid. It is logical to assume that the unscrupulous medical professional who first suggested it to Michael as a sleep aid, against all medical ethics, would also not be clear and forthcoming about the dangers. I believe that Michael thought he was doing the prudent thing by hiring a doctor to be his personal physician, and that by paying him well Michael would be well taken care of. Although I do not suffer from insomnia, my late husband did, in the profound way that Michael did. Insomnia aggravated existing medical issues for him and it was a contributing factor in his death at 53. Those who suffer from it are desperate and suffer not only emotional distress, but pain as well. As with a disease that causes pain, it is natural to seek relief through medication. And if one is being treated by doctors who are not upholding their oath to first do no harm, one is it that person’s mercy. And like you, I also have believed all along that Michael was gone long before any assistance was summoned. A sad, sad commentary on health care for purchase, and individuals who prize money above all else, even a persons life. The only comfort in the shame of that day is that he left us peacefully and no longer in pain. I know he saw the light and moved toward it, and I also believe that bands of angels helped him home. You had a painting in one of your other posts that was so beautiful, of Michael in Jesus’ arms, and that is the image that I concentrated on during the prelim, because it was just too painful to envision that room. God bless his soul. Love and peace, sue.

    Posted January 22, 2011 at 4:33 am | Permalink
  5. gertrude said . . .

    It is so fortunate you are a medical practitioner who writes and have given an expert’s confirmation of what has long seemed undeniable. I feel Michael not only had PTSD after 2 decades of relentless violence to his loving soul, he was also wounded to the core by the cruelty of 2005, and mortally. Who among us could withstand the hateful public viciousness he did? Who among us would have ever slept again? After the horrific results of a head-on car collision I stopped sleeping completely, had panic attacks that were literally without end, never ate, and if an old-school phsychiatrist hadn’t put me on a drug that had stopped being used because it sedated people into zombiedom, I would have jumped off the balcony of my 18th floor apartment. I feel Michael was put through something much worse. Michael should not have used propofol, but would any of us have triumphed any better over a bullying unparalleled in modern times? Its not surprising he was desperate enough to use propofol. What is unconscienable is who administered it and how, in my opinion.

    Posted January 22, 2011 at 6:33 am | Permalink
  6. admin said . . .

    I am not an expert, G. I am just an ordinary person with some medical training. Anyone with any kind of medical training could see what happened here. I worked in Psych for 20 years, 10 of which were as a director of a residential facility for those with mental health issues. Most had PTSD. Many could not sleep so my dog (who was our mascot and frankly, lead therapist) would spend the night with them during flashbacks and nightmares. Animals offer unconditional love and a kind of comfort that humans cannot. I still work part time in private nursing as a Respiratory Care Specialist with children on ventilators. I know what happened in that room and I know it was preventable. I understand Michael’s desperation; I lived closely with it for 10 years while watching it in clients. I can tell you that there are other ways to treat trauma and sleeplessness. And they have never killed. I suspect Michael was very secretive about his private medical care. This is a case study that justifies med schools to offer cross training in alopathic and holistic medicine. It’s also a lesson for Spiritual Advisors who might fail to ask the right questions. And the hardest part for me now is knowing that a shaman could have helped Michael but our culture doesn’t understand that shamans are spiritual people who counsel and practice alternative methods for soul injury and soul loss. Jesus was actually quite the powerful shaman– manipulating matter (more fish-bread), commanding the elements (walking on water,) healing and even raising the dead. I am sure Michael is healed now. ~B

    Posted January 22, 2011 at 2:58 pm | Permalink
  7. gertrude said . . .

    Thank-you Reverend B. For what it’s worth, I really appreciate and respect how spiritual a good shaman is. Just smudging my residence with sage alone, brings a tangible energy change of the most refreshing nature. I had an incredible post-car accident experience as well with the miracle of the fish and loaves – anyway, just thank-you so much for all you are doing. I think so many of us really do come here for the healing refuge of your Wise Shaman words. You are a Healer on SO many levels, and the life-path that brought you to defend the great Michael Jackson is fascinating, amazing.

    Posted January 22, 2011 at 8:59 pm | Permalink
  8. Lauren said . . .

    Physicians and medical personnel universally find it impossible to fathom the total lack of due care and diligence on the part of Murray. Given the situation, the anesthetic, lack of proper monitoring equipment, abandoning his one patient, lying, covering up and concealing his actions, and finally agreeing to blame his patient for his own medical incompetence, this whole episode just stuns. And the anger grows with a hired PR firm who believe this same provider would do well to visit Forest Lawn, express his affection for Mrs. Jackson, and behave as if he has not a care in this world. How arrogant and self serving and how dreadfully insulting to Michael’s children and family.

    I feel the anger also, Barbara. Michael did not have to die that day. Personally, the only consolation I feel is that Michael left quietly and peacefully and cannot be hurt any longer. He is in that light now as his spirit continues to inspire and touch more people even now. I imagine he would not approve of living with this anger for too long. He’d probably advise to turn it around and use it as an inpetus to do something positive for someone else.

    Posted January 23, 2011 at 12:56 am | Permalink
  9. Susan T said . . .

    Yes, Rev. Barbara, I have no doubt that had Michael been allowed to engage in spiritual healing, there is no question that he would have received the kind of deep and lasting help that drugs simply aren’t able to provide long term. Unfortunately, the world he existed in demanded too much from him and showed no mercy. In spite of how highly evolved and spiritually conscious he was, he was still a mortal human being who was forced to live in a harsh and unforgiving “human” world. Mental and physical pain can only be endured for so long until we seek relief. Until each of us has walked that path of torment, we cannot point fingers. Those who could have really helped him, failed–miserably. Had it not been for his beloved children, he would not have overcome the 2005 trial. No one can imagine the torment he endured for so long. I cry every time I think about him breaking down in tears talking with Tom Mesereau, terrified about what would happen to his children. How could people be so cruel to destroy such a kind and innocent man? God forgive us for not acting sooner to stop this senseless tragedy. Will we act to prevent such an occurrence in the future? Our activism to bring awareness to the ugly violence in our speech is a start. But we will have to be relentless in our work to change the way the press reports news. I hear Martin Luther King Jr’s words over and over again…”Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” The average citizen remains unconscious when it comes to recognizing the power of words. If we are not vigilant, technology will rob us of the very last vestige of compassion and feeling. Einstein cautioned us–our technology is eclipsing our “humanity”.

    Posted January 23, 2011 at 9:52 pm | Permalink
  10. Kim said . . .

    I have heard people talk about the medical aspects of this case numerous times; however, when I read the words directly from someone who has medical training, those words really impacted me greatly. The impact is so much that I had to stop reading for a few minutes. It truly breaks my heart because as you stated, this did NOT have to be. This could have been prevented. The fact that it may have been too late also hurts my heart. It just makes me feel like Michael never had a chance. I feel much anger when I think about it. I don’t even know what to do with that anger right now. I want someone to pay, but who is it that has to pay? How many people really should be held accountable? We all know Murray is one that should be held accountable, but will we ever see everyone involved, be held accountable? Like others have stated here, the only thought that brings me some peace in all this is your last statement in that Michael saw the light and headed toward that light and that he is no longer suffering and at peace. I’ve read most of your articles and they all are wonderful, insightful and truthful; however, this one is by far one of the most revealing, honest and hold-those-to-task pieces you have written. Thank you and I’m very grateful to be able to be exposed to such talent and courage. Namaste!

    Posted January 24, 2011 at 3:30 am | Permalink
  11. Dalia said . . .

    It was an absurd and unjust death and could have been avoided. It did not have to happen that way to a man who financially had everything in his power except the respect and humanity of those who were responsible for monitoring his integrity. Michael was a victim for the last time in his life– of greed and callous indifference, of a inhumane physician who knew exactly what had to be done yet did not because Michael was not a loved one, because Murray’s only interest was his own personal economic benefit and nothing else. I think in the third world, a physician with human feelings and respect for life, would make an urgent call to 911 in an attempt to save Michael’s life instead of focusing on hiding the evidence and giving up for dead a man who did not have to die. However I think that each of us have charted our lifetime and when the time is over, nothing changes the result. We had a beautiful angel on earth until God decided to call him, and his spirit is now where he deserves to be.

    Posted January 24, 2011 at 4:35 am | Permalink
  12. eva maria said . . .

    Dear Barbara, I dont know,what really happened in that night when michael died. I feel that those who wanted to destroy his life started in 1993 with extortion and greed for Michael’s money. A man gave drugs to his son, told lies that Michael was touching him and began Michael’s nightmare. The trial in 2005 was the end of Michael’s fight because of a man who wanted to get Michael and sent 70 policement to destroy everything in Michael’s Neverland home. For what? Neverland was Michael’s paradise to have a little privacy with his children. And after the terrible hunting, he could never live there. The media is the greatest evil in our lives; they do anything for money. We are all manipuated by that trash as Michael said. This is so shameful. I hope we can awaken from our 100 years sleep.It’s time to look in the mirror and change. Together we can move to create Michael’s dream of making the world a better place. God Bless You. Love, Eva Marie

    Posted January 24, 2011 at 3:24 pm | Permalink
  13. CassieForMaxwell said . . .

    Even I, as a lay person, am appalled and the level of care that was afforded to Michael jackson at his home. It was deplorable. The questions you ask regarding the tests and other alternate procedures possibly being tried for his ailments I fear I already know the answers to. None of the aforementioned ever happened. Why try something that might work when you could ignore those possibilities and keep exploiting him for money? I know that he was sleep deprived and I know to a small degree what he must have been suffering as I myself am an insomniac. Still, a reputable doctor who genuinely had the best interest of his patient at heart, would have walked away before giving in to those pleas. If he had cared about Michael Jackson as most of the world did, more than the money he had already counted and deposited into the bank of his mind, he could never have taken those risks with Michael’s life. Especially without the proper equipment. Michael is gone from us for all the wrong, unnecessary reasons and it breaks my spirt everytime I hear his name, which plays a lot in my mind.

    Posted January 24, 2011 at 5:53 pm | Permalink
  14. Mags said . . .

    Powerful and moving words as usual from Reverend Barbara, giving us an insight into Michael’s desperation and Murray’s dreadful negligence. And I too have often wondered if Michael had searched for safer methods to attempt cure or at least, control his insomnia – and whether any of the so-called doctors who crossed his path over the years had cared enough to advise and/or insist on his taking part in those treatments. How different things might have been for him then, and how different for us now.

    Posted January 24, 2011 at 7:12 pm | Permalink
  15. Joyce said . . .

    Dear Rev. Barbara,
    I also have a medical background having been a nurse for 15 years working in Critical care for 6 of those. When I first heard some of the stories being told about the complete lack of even the most basic of proper medical care by this so called Physician I was in utter disbelief and then filled with such anger. How could it have been possible. There is no reasonable medical explanation for Michael’s death. You have done an excellent job of exposing all of the blatant acts of negligence that were carried out by Mr. Murray. He should not be allowed to even use the title of Doctor any longer. You are correct that physicians and medical professionals are human and mistakes do happen but this level of complete negligence and disregard for even the most basic standard of care is simply criminal. I was not able to follow the hearing because I was with my family, dealing with my dad’s final battle with Pancreatic Cancer and his passing on Jan 4th. When I think of the excellent care that my dad received by all different levels of medical professionals from his Doctors to aides at the hospice center, I am so thankful and even more angry at the lack of care that Michael suffered. He was surrounded by too many people for many years who were afraid of losing their “connection and money” to actually provide him with the help that he so needed to treat his insomnia. As you said, the causes of that insomnia are many and require an entirely separate investigation which many like yourself have written about but unfortunately most in the mainstream media refuse to present or even accept. It just breaks my heart when I think about how different things could have been. The only comfort is in knowing that Michael is no longer suffering and he continues to inspire so many of us to carry on his dream and mission of making this world a more caring place in whatever ways that we can. Thanks again for this very informative post.

    Posted January 24, 2011 at 10:49 pm | Permalink
  16. Souldreamer7 said . . .

    Wow Barbara….You read my mind or I read yours..or we connected. I was just thinking this same view the last week. Thank you for writing it out. With Love

    Posted January 26, 2011 at 2:41 am | Permalink
  17. admin said . . .

    I received a request for this post in Portuguese by someone who does not speak English. Any translators out there? If you want to help out fans in Portugal, email me. ~Rev. B

    Posted January 26, 2011 at 3:28 am | Permalink
  18. Ruth said . . .

    I have a nursing background and for the first time ever in my life, I wish I didn’t. To understand the gross negligence, the callous and wanton disregard that Michael was on the receiving end of, via Conrad Murrays hands, is devastating. To hear of his multiple and compounding errors and (in)actions followed by him covering up and blatantly lying leaves me hurt in a way that I don’t think will ever heal.

    Posted January 27, 2011 at 11:31 am | Permalink
  19. Josephine said . . .

    I do not have a medical background but I know being around medical professionals that you must always prepare for the worst during medical procedures. I know as a patient we may ask questions about the procedure to our physician but some times we may not know the exact questions to ask. It is the medical professional’s responsibility to protect the patient and inform them about the risks involved with any medical procedure whether big or small. There is always a risk involved when messing with the human body. The patient is not the one that went to medicial school it is the doctor. I know that Michael did suffer with a sleep disorder that must have been awful. I don’t think that when he first started to thinking of treatments he thought– oh why don’t I use Propofol? There is always a begining to any story and there must have been a doctor who first introduced propofol to Michael as a sleep aid. I must also say I do not think that doctor went over the risks with Michael either. Michael was a smart man and I do not think he would have done anything that would risk his life and being without his children. I do not believe that Michael fully understood what was going on when he was going under. I too can not believe the lack of medical saving equipment.I also do not understand why the guilty will not just say yes I made a mistake a big mistake yes I am at fault. How could this person not come forward? How can these people involved sleep at night knowing Michael’s babies are now without their beloved father? Its just so sad. There is so much to this story but one thing for sure is that Michael was not an informed patient and his doctor involved was and is not a very good doctor. So much from the story points to Murrays carelessness and recklessness when it came to his care to his only patient, Michael. I hope and pray for justice on Michael’s behalfs and pray that God will give strength to his family and children. If it hurts me so much; it must hurt his family more . I know we cannot bring Michael back and I know he is in a better place. But he is gone too soon.

    Posted January 30, 2011 at 5:40 pm | Permalink
  20. Nikki said . . .

    What is most horrifying is Murray’s defense will undoubtedly pull all stops and attempt to deflect all blame away from the “doctor” and place it squarely on Michael. We will need to be especially strong and vigilant to weather this next storm about to begin. Michael suffered terribly from insomnia and died at the hands of his grossly incompetent and negligent and yes, criminal, doctor.

    Posted March 11, 2011 at 1:37 am | Permalink
  21. Mary Ann said . . .

    Thank you everyone; you read my mind. I have been thinking of the many reasons of his insomnia and his love for his children. I understand very much how he was gone during the last trial, but managed to survive however, because I feel the same when I go through my pains: I simply live for my children since they have really no one to turn to. It is a long personal story. Such a beautiful soul could not have peace with our narrow minded world! Michael accomplished his mission on earth; it us to learn from his gift: his life and do something good about it.

    Posted August 9, 2011 at 5:27 pm | Permalink

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