Inner Michael » Can We Let Them Be Human?

Can We Let Them Be Human?

Michael Jackson was a romantic at heart and searched his whole life for the perfect woman to be his mate. Lisa Marie Presley was that woman. But there were too many people in that marriage- hundreds, thousands and maybe even millions crowded into a marriage is not intimacy. It was a “circus” as Lisa Marie said in response to speculation about problems in the union of two highly famous and visible people in a private relationship. Only that kind of relationship is never private. This was the same complaint that Lady Diana Spencer voiced when asked about her marriage and its potential for longevity. She bitterly complained that the tabloid press was always in the middle of her marriage as well as the Royal family, all of England and much of the world that admired her—but felt an obligation to scrutinize her life.

 Lisa Marie’s interview with Oprah was not what many fans expected. Many were locked and loaded and had already drawn their weapons and were ready to fire. Some had already fired an arsenal at Oprah even before the interview aired because of her past treatment of Michael Jackson that many think shameful. The interview was mostly sensitive and respectful. Oprah elaborated on the effect that Lisa Marie’s past defensiveness and degrading of Michael had on “the world that didn’t know what to make of that.”  Lisa Marie cleared it up by revealing her own change of heart triggered by Michael’s death.

The press made a mockery of the marriage between Lisa Marie and Michael because so many thought it a public relations ploy arranged by their “people.” Lisa Marie effectively put that theory to rest. That raises the question that if so many were wrong about the “contrived” marriage, what else might they have been wrong about?

The information that came out in that interview was important to reveal- that Michael was a light, was somebody whose aura was special and people could feel that, and that he was not malicious but a clever strategist. That he was a feeling human being and not a monster.  The question about his relationship with children had to be asked. Imagine the tabloid backlash if it weren’t asked. The answer could have expanded on Lisa Marie’s travels around the world with him that included his visits to hospitals to gift sick children with toys, paying their bills, purchasing artificial limbs, buying equipment and even searching for donor organs for those who were terminally ill and would die without a transplant. But it did make clear Lisa Marie’s  belief that Michael never harmed a child.

Since there is a lot of speculation and talk about Michael taking drugs, that question about Michael and if Lisa Marie ever saw him impaired was predictable. Its absence would have been loudly noticed. Lisa Marie referenced Michael’s collapse during rehearsals in 1995 and wondered aloud if his impaired abilities were then related to drugs. She wasn’t sure but said there may have been an indicator then. But that has since been cleared up by the physician who actually treated Michael during that time. The physician says that there were no drugs. Period. Dr. William Alleyne II should know; he was there. He is the doctor that saved Michael’s life.

Whether or not Michael Jackson took too many drugs is not the matter at hand. He did not die of a “drug overdose” as so many have parroted. He died from an unmonitored infusion of Propofol, a drug that is customarily only administered by qualified personnel in a setting where emergency equipment is on hand and emergency procedures are standard in case of well… an emergency. When you stop breathing, that is an emergency. When your heart stops beating, that is an emergency. There are simple inexpensive monitors that will alarm when breathing slows or heart rhythm is suspicious for anomaly. The physician administering the drug should have been an anesthesiologist or trained properly and the drug should have been administered in a hospital or specialized clinic only. None of those required conditions were met.

Michael Jackson reportedly had  had Vitiligo Universalis, Discoid Lupus, Arthritis, Back strain, Dancer’s Feet, and Alpha-1 antitrypsin Deficiency. (AAT) is a type of protein called a “protease inhibitor.” AAT normally works to protect the lungs from a naturally occuring destructive enzyme that is produced by the lungs in response to infections and toxins. Without enough AAT, these enzymes  and exposure to toxins can slowly destroy the lung tissue.

AAT deficiency is caused by a genetic defect that results in not enough AAT in the liver, lungs, and blood. Persons with this deficiency may also develop liver disease. Most adults with severe deficiency will develop Emphysema. While genetic, the condition is most common among Europeans and North Americans of European descent.

If the condition was advanced, he likely had injections of synthetic AAT to protect his lungs. He also likely used bleaching-type creams on his skin where the depigmentation procedures do not work well—areas like the creases in fingers and skin folds where dark pigmentation is prominent. The medical procedure of depgimentation is recommended in advanced Vitiligo or when the lighter skin takes up more area than the darker. Cream to lighten the resistive skin coloring is standard. And the medical treatments in this case was standard for those with Vitiligo.

Arthritis is painful and many people with Arthritis use pain medications to increase movement and keep joints lubricated and stay as healthy as possible. Discoid Lupus is painful and causes infections and sores on the skin—usually the face, neck and ears as well as the scalp. Hair loss and scarring would have accompanied his burned scalp where occasional skin grafts were necessary. Discoid Lupus can also cause hair loss. Could it be he was treated with anti-inflammatory meds and pain killers? Of course.

A trauma can launch PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which is marked by chronic anxiety and a whole host of symptoms too global to go into here. Anti-anxiety meds would be standard fare for treatment of that disorder if it went undiagnosed. Sleep disorder usually accompanies the syndrome. People with chronic insomnia are desperate for sleep. Sleeplessness and sleep deprivation affects overall health and is very difficult to endure. Many use drugs to help the condition.

It doesn’t really matter whether Michael took drugs or not. If he was using medications it was under the care of a doctor and receiving treatments while being attended by a physician. Something went terribly wrong. If Michael Jackson actually did overuse medications, who could blame him? Would we be predisposed to medicating ourselves had we suffered the humiliation and vile treatment accorded this man over decades? There are records of drug impairment around the times of his troubles with accusations regarding children. That must have been horrific for a sensitive man whose love for children was philanthropic and worldwide. It would be human to seek relief from that kind of pain. Did Michael seek that kind of relief? Some say yes; some insist “no.” Are there doctors who are hangers on? Certainly. Are there stars who are divas and demand that they receive what they want? Of course. Was that true in Michael’s case? I don’t know. The real question is: “Why does that matter?”

My research has shown me that Michael Jackson suffered mightily at the hands of others. This world has never seen anything like it. So are we prone to deflect ourselves from facing that reality collectively so that we don’t have to feel guilty? Oh yes. Will we redirect our attention elsewhere and find fault in order to blame the victim? It wouldn’t be the first time humanity used that defense tactic or looked the other way.

Oprah’s interview put someone in the spotlight who tried those same defense mechanisms and tried to marshal her indifference in order to cope with her own feelings of failure and inadequacy. I’ve done that; have you? Have you ever regretted doing something or not doing enough? I have and I can tell you it didn’t end well. Have you ever tried to ignore something and push it way down somewhere inside you and out of sight until an event triggered an internal earthquake that unearthed it? That happened to me. Have you ever conveniently forgotten something because the reality was just too painful? Me too.

So now what are we to do with Lisa Marie Presley? What would Michael do? It’s not a trick question. Is it possible to cut her some slack? Is it possible to consider that divorce is always ugly and that the parties often retaliate or use tactics to inflict pain—one on the other? Is it possible to remember that we often mask real hurt with anger? We cover feelings of inadequacy and anguish with icy resolve and indifference. But it takes only one gut-wrenching event to topple our carefully constructed defensive emotional house of cards. Is there any doubt about how this relationship would go if by a major miracle of time and space that they had just one more chance?

Lisa Marie Presley loved fiercely. So did Michael. They loved as well as they could at the time. It seems that Lisa Marie has had a spiritual emergency of her own that sent her off into a journey of soul searching. Michael Jackson has done that to many people since his death. Does she have regrets? It’s written on her face. The pain is still visible. It would seem from her testimony that Michael had regrets about the relationship too. It might have turned out differently had he listened to her. Are there any villains here? Are there any heroes? Probably not. There are two human beings whose love was so fierce, intense and fiery that they couldn’t contain it. They make movies about that kind of consuming love. One of them is titled “Gone With the Wind” if you care to see some enlightenment on the fires of fierce love.  

It was love nonetheless. Lisa Marie mentioned that she began to cry and spent much of the day in tears before she got the news of Michael’s passing. That tells me they were connected on a soul level. She felt him leaving. It is more than possible that the two of them were soulmates. And they were famous and up against it. They made mistakes. Both of them. They were human. Both of them. Shall we just let that be what it is, now? Can we just let them be human?

28 Comments

  1. It's all for L.O.V.E said . . .

    Lisa Marie touched me. Her obvious love for Michael reminded me of the quote found in the book “The Bridges of Madison County” by Robert James Waller, “This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.” It is very telling that she was the last one standing beside Michael’s casket before his entombment. I will always dread June 25th right along with her.

    Posted October 23, 2010 at 11:11 pm | Permalink
  2. lmat said . . .

    I am so happy to read this understanding of Lisa’s interview. To me, the honesty, pain and regret was just so apparent on her face and in her voice and words. Words…love, light, endearing, intoxicating… all speak to the depth of what Lisa felt, and still may, about Michael. The interviewer interjected uncomfortable and maybe intrusive issues into Lisa’s remembrances of her then husband, but that did not diminish the obvious sorrow at his passing and worse, the fear and guilt that she was the one, perhaps the only one, who may have helped him. Can you just imagine? There has been supposition that she was projecting her feelings around her father onto Michael. That too, is human nature. However, my take is that Lisa is quite clear about the differences between those two men. I wondered about her day of tears on June 25 last year. Soul connection would certainly explain it. And that feels right. As his soul moved from this earth, Lisa’s knew and bid farewell. For Michael, perhaps his love for Lisa Marie was one of the most ‘normal’ life experiences for him. We all fall in love and sometimes we lose that love…I’m so happy Michael had the opportunity to ‘love fiercly’ and according to the one he did love, he did it well.

    Posted October 24, 2010 at 4:39 am | Permalink
  3. lmat said . . .

    Just a note: The doctor who treated Michael in 1995 explained that Michael had low blood pressure, a racing heart, was unconscious and dehydrated. Severe dehydration causes these symptoms and if not treated, can cause death. The body is in shock, in this case brought on by fluid depletion, not drugs. In a shocky state, the body’s major organs can simply shut down. Michael was in rehearsals and it is documented that his intake was minimal and he had a history of dehydration requiring IV fluids while preparing for stage shows.

    Posted October 24, 2010 at 5:00 am | Permalink
  4. gertrude said . . .

    I wish more had been explored about the fascinating revelations of the ” highest” times of her life being those spent with Michael Jackson, how much she admired him for how hard he had worked on their marriage and the “incredibleness” she felt he had. These are things I wish LMP had been given much more of a platform for discussing.

    Posted October 24, 2010 at 6:26 am | Permalink
  5. Isabella said . . .

    “Can we just let them be human?” Barbara that’s the point… I saw the interview and at a certain point I felt Lisa’s heart in pain. I understood well how she might have felt and how complicated the situation was and difficult for both. Then I read that most of the comments on You Tube were so strict, harsh, everybody ready to throw stones… I felt like crying seeing all the anger in people’s heart…

    Posted October 24, 2010 at 2:54 pm | Permalink
  6. Simona said . . .

    There’s so much wisdom in these words – I am deeply touched. Yes, the love, the regret, the torment and grief were still very visible all over Lisa’s face, regardless of how many viewers wished to interpret her demeanour as “cool” and detached. This is all very sad, especially when we think about how her soul must somehow have perceived what was happening on that last day – So sad indeed….

    Posted October 24, 2010 at 8:11 pm | Permalink
  7. Jeanne said . . .

    When Lisa said in this interview that his light made her feel the highest she has ever felt, wow– can you imagine this feeling? The energy, the aura, that oh so good stuff from Michael had to be what everyone wanted including those with dark shadows. I don’t mean to sound like a Mabeline commercial but maybe he was born with it. It was quite obvious to me– this light that we too feel when we hear Michael’s music, see his dance, hear his voice. Lisa had a closeness to this and so of course she is still loving and missing Michael. Why would anyone even question this? She did not have to explain to me. I know how she feels. I kinda felt like she was saying “ok, ok you asked so here it is: I am sorry I got mad, I am sorry I didn’t say more, do more…” I understand. Its ok . We are all only human. Why did she do the interview? I think to say I am sorry and be tormented no more and move forward in her life. Maybe to be forgiven? There is a point where a celebrity must say, “you will be who you will be, and think what you think, and I can not control this.” Just do as Michael did and be true to who you are regardless of others thoughts. Till Michael took his lasts breath his thoughts and his heart were pure. He cared, he loved. We benefit from all that Michael had in his heart. We benefit from his ability to entertain, to delight. We still benefit as we are learning so much from the life of Michael Jackson. What a great teacher, what a beautiful soul. Wonder who learned strength? Who learned patience? Wonder who learned not to judge? Wonder who learned to express themselves, to shine? Yes he was born with it. He knew it too. Wish more people could have seen this blessing then and many are beginning to now.

    Posted October 24, 2010 at 9:59 pm | Permalink
  8. Kat said . . .

    First post of you that I DONT LIKE at all

    Posted October 25, 2010 at 12:19 am | Permalink
  9. Kim said . . .

    Thank you Barbara. I believe their love was true and deep. It does give me a sense of comfort knowing that Michael experienced a great love as well as Lisa. They both were are passionate people and to be able to bring that into a relationship seems only natural. Life sometimes gets in our way of realizing what we have while it is there in front of us All too often, we realize what we had too late. When I heard Lisa was crying all day, I thought perhaps she must have a feeling or a sense of something being wrong; however, when you say that perhaps Michael’s soul/spirit was reaching out to her and that their souls are connected, that makes a lot of sense. Theirs was a love story that was romantic and tragic at the same time. It’s sad, it truly is. I can’t even imagine what Lisa is feeling. I hope she is able to heal at some point in the future. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Namaste!

    Posted October 25, 2010 at 4:13 am | Permalink
  10. Michelle said . . .

    I know how Lisa feels. It’s all right, Lisa, we all still miss Michael, too. I’m sure Michael is looking down at you and smiling! Barbara, nice words on this article.

    Posted October 25, 2010 at 4:16 pm | Permalink
  11. marga1961 said . . .

    Rev. Barbara, I read this article and yes I’ve seen this interview: a huge difference with the last one with Oprah in 2005, where these two “ladies” were laughing, did have so much fun and humiliated him while he was not in that studio to defend himself! I hated and still hate that so-called interview! I’ve watched this interview on YouTube just now, again, and even the audience was laughing, it was so disgusting! They cannot make this right in this recent interview. So clever now to do this conversation in Michael style: Claude Monet-like (impressionistical environment outside, NO audience, Happy Sunflowers to let us know they are serious now!) Sorry, your article is great, but this is how I FEEL (MJ word). I know for certain Michael cried when he saw the 2005 interview and I know he is smiling now: full of Forgiveness. He was a very Good, Kindhearted, Sensitive Soul who forgave (almost) everyone. Perhaps I will in time, but for now: NO I cannot stand these two “classy ladies.” This is the first time I am upset! But I want to say: all articles written by you I read with so much pleasure (more than once) and I learn so much from you, I Love it when there is a new article, ThanXXX Marga from the Netherlands.

    Posted October 25, 2010 at 4:41 pm | Permalink
  12. sara said . . .

    I think the both of them made mistakes, and fans are unfair to judge.

    Posted October 25, 2010 at 7:26 pm | Permalink
  13. Anne said . . .

    I do not feel LMP was MJ’s soul mate. If she were, she would not have abandoned him when he reached out to her in 2005 during his darkest hour when he so desperately needed her support. If she were his soul mate, she could state without hesitation that he was totally innocent of the false accusations. She had this incredible opportunity to speak of all the good things MJ did while they were together at hospitals/orphanages etc but she allowed Oprah to drive the conversation to drug use and repeatedly referred to his “manipulation.” A lot of the things she said were unsubstantiated but were presented as fact. MJ’s collapse at the HBO rehearsals was not drug related. If LMP really loved MJ, she would not have granted this interview to Oprah who had caused him so much pain during his life. I think she was trying to rehabilitate her image in public before her album comes out, assuage a lot of guilt, and establish herself as MJ’s widow despite their divorce just like her mom did with Elvis.

    Posted October 25, 2010 at 7:33 pm | Permalink
  14. Maria MJ said . . .

    Dear Barbara,
    Thank you for yet another uplifting review–a human on human connectedness. You are right, above anything else we are human and we make mistakes, as they are a necessary prerequisite for learning and evolution.
    What we have here is your spiritual request to give them the space every soul deserves to make mistakes and evolve, and on the opposite side, the pejorative connotation that accompanies every judgement–what most of us, Michael Jackson fans have done at some point during our journey away from his physical presence.
    It’s another human attribute to judge based on previous knowledge and demonstration of behavior. Lisa Marie was a much spoiled child and she had all the indications for continuing as a spoiled adult with a boosted ego. Michael was spoiled in a different sense–by aquiring his status with his own hard work. It makes a huge difference to be an only child born in wealth as opposed to being the 7th child of a poor family who bleeded on his way to fame and wealth. It places Michael to an entirely different level of experience and progress. He was powerful in the mastery of his life, yet he was powerless against indifference. The fuel he needed to carry on was unconditional love, the only thing he never seemed able to find.
    I am putting this at rest, choosing to respect Human Nature. Love and blessings, Maria MJ

    Posted October 25, 2010 at 8:13 pm | Permalink
  15. Lisa said . . .

    I have to disagree with this one… Soulmates? does your soulmate hurt you? Make you feel lonely? his words, do you disappear for weeks and refuse to speak to your soulmate? I belieive they thought it was love then after a while discovered it won’t work.I am sure she has a lot of guilt over how mean she was to him now. I do hope she will move on and be happy.

    Posted October 26, 2010 at 4:26 am | Permalink
  16. Sue Springer said . . .

    I am having a very difficult time with this interview. Perhaps my perceptions are too colored by the previous interviews LMP has given, which were hurtful and mean. I have great compassion for her, I believe she loved Michael as much as she could at the time, I believe she has suffered since his passing and I pray that she finds peace and happiness. I am left wondering though, why so many people in his inner circle find it necessary to continue to assuage their guilt or regret in a public forum, at Michael’s expense. Unlike many people, I do not see this interview as positive for Michael — I think it only reinforces the negative beliefs of so much of the public, the continued question mark. It’s as if some are so determined to concentrate on his human frailties — to make themselves feel better about their own behavior? I will continue to pray that LMP has found peace and faces a happy future, because that is what Michael would want for her. And I will continue to struggle with forgiveness, and how I suppport my belief in his extraordinary greatness and kindness without judging the people who have hurt him. How do I advocate for this extraordinary man in the face of continued negativity, without hurting people who are doing the best that they can. This interview has set me on my heels, and I have so much yet to learn about the spector of “judgment.” Another amazing lesson from Michael. Love and peace all.

    Posted October 26, 2010 at 4:55 am | Permalink
  17. Jeanne said . . .

    I read the other posts here, and some of you were upset and felt like Lisa left Michael at a time of need, and your words were written with the intention to protect and defend Michael, and you all have a right to this as much as you love him. But remember, Lisa said, Michael pushed her away. You feel this was her choice, but, indeed this was Michael’s. It is because he loved her so much that he did not want her to have an anguish in any way and for any reason. Remember she said he “iced her out.” When you hur,, and deeply hurt, you don’t want that pain shared with someone you love, you don’t want them to hurt along with you right. Icing Lisa was in my opinion, (as Michael would say,) Loving her more.

    Posted October 26, 2010 at 1:02 pm | Permalink
  18. admin said . . .

    Sometimes we “ice people out” because we are hurting so much. We hide that hurt and protect ourselves by steeling ourselves against the pain– or icing the other out who caused our pain. It’s a common defense mechanism. It is human nature. That is why I asked can we let them be human? ~Rev. B

    Posted October 26, 2010 at 1:39 pm | Permalink
  19. Greet Boete Belgium said . . .

    Did Lisa not fall into a trap, Oprah’s trap ? Instead of focusing on the positive things, Oprah was asking about de deepest depts, about the drugs, and again mentioning the drugs. About the allegations. She could have indeed asked these questions, but it was the way she “manipulated” the answers. The way the questions were formulated “did he have to die for you to realize that he loved you?” What a way to ask a question. Was this on purpose? If somebody saw the announcement for the interview: a lining up of the questions and showing the pain and reluctance on Lisa’s face. Was it for the rating?, sensationalism? Indeed, could she not have focused on his light, the highes hight, the incredible human, the humanitarian side of Michael (not one word in the interview)? Lisa did her best, could she not have stated that if she had doubts about Michael’s innocence, she would not be able to feel the love (again) after June 25, instead of her wary answer? And if she never saw him taking drugs, why did she give the answer that she gave? Besides, I don’t like “drugs,” while we are talking about prescription medicines which do not normally lead to addiction but to tolerance (not comparable at all). I feel some compassion for Lisa. As for Oprah, does that lady not need some of the light of Michael ? And do I think she will find it if she goes on like that ? Reverend Barbara, your article is quite well balanced (to me) but I don’t think that Lisa was his soul mate. If she was, she would have given him children without hesitation. She was not meant for him. The fact she did not want a child with him (after they married) is the ultimate proof to me. Thank you for the beautiful and explaining article.

    Posted October 26, 2010 at 6:04 pm | Permalink
  20. Nicole P-H said . . .

    After watching the interview, I feel really disturbed and sad, and I totally agree with Sue Springer and also with Maria MJ and Anne. I’ve also watched the previous 2005 interview that LMP did with Oprah.
    I think that Michael and LMP did NOT belong to the same realm. Michael was a very spiritual being, he “knew” that he had a Love Mission to accomplish during his lifetime. I don’t think it is easy to be a Spiritual Messenger for Humanity, especially being constantly targeted. If LMP had been more spiritual, she would have understood that Michael had a mission and because of that he could not offer her the “perfect and common” marriage she was expecting.
    Michael spent his whole life (since he was a child) GIVING unconditional LOVE to the world. He was constantly fighting with a lot of courage in order to spread his message of Love. But he also needed some unconditional love for himself. He needed a compagnion, a wife to hold his hand, support and confort him. Unfortunately, he did not find this compagnion in LMP. Because she was not spiritually awaken, so she could not understand him (his behaviour, his choices, his feelings, his heartbreaks). She could not understand what he stood for.
    I am sure that Michael forgave her betrayal (2005 interview) a long time ago and he would not want anybody to judge her because he was certainly aware that it is not easy sharing the life of a Spiritual Messenger !
    But I also feel that in this last interview LMP betrayed Michael once more:
    When she was asked whether Michael could harm children, she did not take this extraordinary opportunity to set the record straight about all the good dids Michael had done for children and the Love he felt for them. She was a first hand witness, since she had been visiting orphanages and hospitals with him. But she consciously chose not to mention those things! This is too bad because she could have honored Michael and shift the bad opinion that too many people still have about him. Namaste, Nicole

    Posted October 27, 2010 at 10:17 am | Permalink
  21. Nicole P-H said . . .

    Oh, I want to add something. I believe that Michael’s fate was to be a lonely man. To have a “happy married existence” was not part of the Plan that God had for him. In order to be a Light, a Mirror to us all, he had to stand alone. I think that many previous Spiritual Messengers shared the same fate. Michael once said that he was married to God, to his children and to his fans. And there is no doubt that all of them gave him back the unconditionnal Love he needed. Namaste, Nicole

    Posted October 27, 2010 at 10:34 am | Permalink
  22. Jeanne said . . .

    Maybe Michael’s loneliness was wise because his loneliness was chosen in order to speak “his” wisdom and focus on” his” chosen path knowing all along that his path would lead to a greatness that would benefit us all . Wow This is exciting isn’t it .

    Posted October 27, 2010 at 4:51 pm | Permalink
  23. Susan T said . . .

    Dear Reverend Barbara,

    After reading so many insensitive and judgmental comments on other forums, I knew yours would reflect an understanding of human nature and a willingness to accept our humanness. For all his inner strength and giftedness, he was still a flesh and blood man. As you said, he endured more mental anguish and physical pain than anyone we can think of in recent history. How can anyone criticize or fault him for wanting relief, even if it comes through pain killers? Because he was so enlightened and sensitive, his agony must have been truly unbearable I times. I do wonder how he managed to live as long as he did and do so with such courage and graace

    I agree with you. I was immediately struck by Lisa’s confession about being overcome with sadness and crying for no apparent reason on the day he passed. When she disclosed on her blog the day after he died that “He knew” and shared the conversation they had that one day, the ‘soul’ connection became obvious. I believe that these two lovers may have been together, before, and this lifetime is not the end. You could see the pain in Lisa’s eyes, and hear the regret in her voice–the sadness at her failure to reach him and stop the inevitable. Tears welled in my eyes at the photo of her, alone, by his casket and her disclosure of not wanting to leave him. The torrent of emotional pain she experienced must have been overwhelming. Saying she was “gutted” probably best described how she felt.

    So many judge her harshly. They did betray one another and often terrible emotional hurt causes us to respond in-kind. It’s never justified. It’s just what happens to flawed and vulnerable beings. I like to think that they will be reunited FOREVER one day in the distant future, having finally worked through their life lessons and arriving at complete happiness with each other. They loved each other fiercely, passionately. Sometimes that kind of love consumes until the fire slowly dies down and becomes a warm ember. I know that Michael lives in perfect bliss now. I hope and pray Lisa can find it in her heart to forgive herself, and him, and find love and peace with her family. We all need to navigate the “shadow” and find the light. Thank you for your beautiful and heartfelt characterization of these two star-crossed lovers. L.O.V.E. to all!

    Posted October 28, 2010 at 9:55 pm | Permalink
  24. Nikki said . . .

    Thank you, Barbara, for such a wonderful post on this subject. I agree with everything you’ve written here. I have been very sad and quite disappointed at much of the negative reaction from the fan community. I felt Lisa’s pain, which I have no doubt is sincere. Yes, we’ve all made mistakes, and have done things we regret. And soul-shattering grief comes when we least expect it and our path changes as we grow and evolve. That is how I view Lisa’s experience. I take great comfort in your words, always. Thank you for all that you do.

    Posted October 31, 2010 at 12:45 am | Permalink
  25. Froggy said . . .

    Thank you Rev. Kaufman for once again writing with such a lazer beam of clarity. I am in agreement with all you wrote. When I first began watching the interview I was simply overcome with so much emotion and compassion for them both, but especially Lisa as this was her interview. I did not come armed with mental defenses, ready to find fault or pick her apart. I just let myself be with my emotions and I felt profoundly saddened and filled with compassion for them both. I understood so much more of Lisa’s inner landscape, the territory of her heart. I know many are angry with her but I’ve always felt she was deeply hurt and her anger came from that and now, since Michael’s passing, all that has been washed away. Like I said on one of the forums, I don’t care what she did or didn’t do, the good, the bad, the ugly because LOVE TRUMPS IT ALL. She loved him passionately. The fact that she felt his passing before she knew of it speaks volumes to me.

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 4:29 pm | Permalink
  26. Cassaundra Mathis said . . .

    What you have written here is very emotional and touching. To some extent, I agree. They were both passionate and fiery, in my opinion Michael more so. Their relationship was met with certain perils, the greatest being that they were both widely proclaimed icons who had more money than God and who could not get a moment’s rest away from the cameras, the press, and the world. However, in my eyes, the marriage was doomed before it ever began. Why? I don’t see them as having been soul mates. I see them as two of the world’s loneliest people who were both looking for someone to save them and get them away from the obstacles that caused both of them pain. They found in each other a “sameness” that drew them in, a fairytale of sorts, but in my opinion, it was not strong enough to hold them together when reality set in. They still had the same problems, only now they had them together. Twofold. It would take strong determination, will power, fight and not flight, to make that marriage work. Neither of them had ever had to fight for anything so why would we expect them to know how to or be equipped to fight to keep a marriage together? Marriage isn’t something you go into first, and question the mechanics of it later. And I don’t believe that either of them really looked that far ahead to see how hard it was going to be. I don’t blame Michael. I don’t blame Lisa. I blame society and the undue stresses it places on our super stars. We don’t allow them to live a “normal” life. We don’t respect them as “normal” human beings. And we don’t honor their rights to happiness. Perhaps in another time Michael and Lisa could have made it as a married couple, I don’t know. But it was almost virtually impossible for them to have made it in this century. Too many odds were stacked against them. Love each other, I don’t doubt. But sometimes, as we all will learn if we continue to live, love is not enough. Got to have a plan and stick to it come hell or high water. You can’t jump ship in the middle of the ocean and think you’re going to wade to dry land. You will sink every time.

    Posted November 11, 2010 at 4:34 pm | Permalink
  27. kelly said . . .

    Reverend Barbara I do not speak English. I read your page with an internet translator. I am very grateful to you because your words have brought joy to my heart. I feel compassion for Lisa and I understand her suffering, her words were sincere, but she and Michael made human mistakes and had regret. The difference is that Michael never spoke ill of her. I think it is difficult for all fans removed from the mind to the former Lisa, the Lisa that apparently did not love Michael. I think this interview was used to clear the name of Lisa, but not Michael. He wanted to focus beyond the mistakes that were committed in a marriage and focus on the wonderful things they lived together. Too much focus on what is false and inaccurate as drugs and surgeries; Lisa had the opportunity to address issues much more enriching and not take it, but I still think that they truly loved one another.

    Posted November 22, 2010 at 11:11 pm | Permalink
  28. susan singidas said . . .

    Oftentimes we regret mistakes we have made and this causes us to have guilt feelings and this was the feeling of Lisa till now. I can feel it but she must move on now no matter how hard it can be. When a person is gone unexpectedly, we in one way or another soon realize how important that person was. Especially if we could do something to help but were unable to to it; we blame ourselves. We should keep going, forgive ourselves and pray the hurtful and guilt feelings we experienced will soon go away. I know Michael is at peace now with God. Thanks to his influence he left and most importantly his strong faith helped him to deal with all in his life. Thanks to you also Ms. Barbara for creating this website all for Michael, it’s all for love.

    Posted December 7, 2010 at 2:21 pm | Permalink

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