Inner Michael » All for Love and Hurting Hearts

All for Love and Hurting Hearts

Children loved Michael and they looked to him for hope. They gravitated to him. To many he and his status as “superstar” represented a possible dream of daring to escape from a life empty of dreams. Perhaps too, he held hearts fast with an invisible thread and sometimes provided invisibly also, relief and release from emotionally stifling and even dangerous circumstances. Michael Jackson was an advocate of children’s rights, an advocate for children. Period. In fact, he was the most visible one on this planet.

Michael tirelessly schlepped his entourage around the world to perform for sellout crowds while donating a large portion of his proceeds to children’s charities. Those donations have been estimated at around $300 million. In every city he performed, he had disadvantaged children bussed in and sometimes carried in on stretchers to see his concerts. Members of his entourage tell us that in each city in which he performed, he donated large pieces of equipment to area hospitals to be used in caring for the sick children.

Michel Jackson’s real legacy somehow was distorted or overlooked and even deliberately twisted. So who are the real losers in that social and cultural malfeasance? Yes, that’s right—the children. Words can and do harm. Michael understood far too well, that words can harm children every bit as much as physical attack. If fact, he may have understood that far deeper than any human being on this planet.

Children understand about the harm words can do. Several children have committed suicide because they were being bullied in school and on the Internet. A child who was being harmed by words wrote a letter to President Obama and he just responded to her congratulating her for her courage. Here is a little girl who is taking back her power! She has begun her own initiative to address bullying in the schools with her own organization.

I celebrate her courage in standing up for herself. But I am shocked and have to wonder about the people who wrote in to comment about the story. Instead of applauding her for her courage and initiative, she is now being verbally bullied on the Internet—by adults! Take a look at the outlets for this story and you will once again, see a lack of heart.

A Letter from President Obama

So here it comes again: a profound cynicism and lack of heart that permeates our culture, informs our world. I have had a taste of that myself in the last few days. Words carried an energy for me that produced sadness, shock and dismay. I was being pulled in far too many directions, was far too stressed and far too busy. So my words came out abrupt and too blunt at times. The shocking part was that I thought I knew people and I thought they knew me. I wanted to scream “Feel me! Feel my energy! Feel who I am!”

Michael Jackson would have understood that plea. He asked us many times to feel him, to feel who he was being and what he was doing. He understood that there is an energy field that surrounds and permeates the human. And that field is read by another person standing within the effects of that field. That’s an intuitive ability that maybe we have forgotten? The next time someone says something to you and your ego engages and begins that little tantrum, stop and feel into what the person is saying to you. We process far more non-verbally than we do verbally and that cannot take place when we communicate with words where body language and “vibe” are absent.

When I checked out with myself what I was feeling, I noticed that my heart hurt. I realized that it was not just a metaphor; my chest hurt in the area of my heart. I felt wounded. Upon closer check, it felt kind of empty. I was not engaging my heart enough. Conclusions drawn with the head rather than the heart cause misunderstandings and that leads to conflict. I was responding from an empty space! And my heart was hurting.

That is not to say that some words that came at me weren’t wounding; they were. Were they meant to wound? I can’t answer that for I don’t know what is in other peoples’ minds or motivations. I don’t want to believe it and I can hope not. I just know that for this moment, I need to pull back and pull in and breathe. I also had to make a decision. Did I want to continue even though wounded? With a hurting heart?

Add to that some messages from some people telling me there is infighting again among fans, attacks on reputable journalists by other fans and those whom I consider rocks telling me they are fatigued.
That they are dragging themselves around numb from the monumental task before us: making the world a better place as Michael asked us to do. Without my rocks? Oh, was I angry with Michael! Pick on somebody your own size! Beat it!

Well, I’ve come this far. And the curriculum I have been working on for several months with Voices Education Project and Michael Jackson admirers is now taking shape. It’s a gift. It’s for Michael. It’s all for love. It’s for all the future children who would be harmed by words. It’s for all those people whose 15 minutes of fame will bring down on their hearts things that they would never have imagined. I certainly didn’t imagine it. Can you? The work is to remind us to live more in our hearts; to recognize when our hearts hurt.

The project began with the writing of two features for Voices Education Project: A WMD: New Weapons of Mass Destruction which is about the harm done to real people by words wielded without responsibility and restraint. And Michael Jackson: Spiritual Messenger Hiding in Plain Sight a tribute to an unrecognized global humanitarian and humanity’s cheerleader.

The warm reception I got from Voices Education Project who has published my work over the years and knows my heart prompted me to be so bold as to ask Marilyn, The Executive Director: “Could we consider writing a curriculum about Violence and Words? Do you think we could do it in Michael’s memory?”

And the rest is HIStory- created everyday by admirers of Michael’s message and his encouragement to “Make that change.” It is still a work in progress. Voices Education is providing the support and I am recruiting, supplying the organizing, leadership, coaching and editing as well as some research and writing for the project. And I am fiercely protective of this initiative. So when some venues conscripted a case study from the curriculum and reprinted it on their websites, I had to ask them to remove the copyrighted material and wait until Voices Education Project announces the public release of the program and its resources. Some were upset with me because they thought they had the right to publish it. I asked them not to and for the most part, there has been understanding and compliance. But not without hurting hearts.

Voices Education Project is a global humanitarian and peacemaking pedagogical institute that as a part of their mission, writes and distributes curricula. It is an entity that Michael would have approved of with his whole heart. That is why I approached them about championing this project. And they have been supportive beyond even meteoric dreams. I know that Michael Jackson admirers would not want to jeopardize this project nor usurp the publisher’s intention and right to release it in a professional and respectful way. Michael deserves that. The children deserve that. Your heart deserves it. And mine does too.


Go to the website. Take a look at the case studies. Browse all you want. But do not take the materials from this program and distribute them. That is not yours to do. Do not market them. If you see a violation of the copyright and ownership of this project, Please let us know. The release is coming soon and we will leave that to the professionals at Voices Education Project. My heart thanks you.

Article: WMD: The New Weapon of Mass Destruction

Michael Jackson: Spiritual Messenger Hiding in Plain Sight

Voices Education Project “Violence and Words” Curriculum Case Studies


  1. lmt said . . .

    After so many months and so many, many tears, one might believe that the ache subsides and the heart would cease its painful reminder of loss. It just doesn’t. As that wonderful poet reminded, Michael is still at work. I want to ask him to STOP, please. This is hard work and hard healing. My heart must have been sealed with crazy glue–and there’s nothing but salty tears to pry it open.

    Everytime, every single time I read about Michael and his special bond with children and with all of earth’s creatures, that ache shows up and the heart hurts. Everytime some person speaks or writes or acts out misunderstanding of that kind man, the heart hurts. How can we get more heart if it keeps breaking? Strength and determination to honor Michael is and shouldn’t be so hurtful and numbing.

    Thank you for everything you do and care about, Barbara. I guess being a target isn’t easy. This work is wonderful and surely has Michael’s blessing and smile. And what a smile that was.

    Posted July 22, 2010 at 1:39 am | Permalink
  2. Karlene said . . .

    Dearest Barbara,
    I am so sorry you’ve been going through so much heart ache. I have not been as active with your site as I’d hoped but I do appreciate all your hard work – I feel more connected to Michael when I am in own world trying to make a change in my small corner of the globe (Michael never let’s us forget our mission does he, Man in the Mirror is playing as I write this).

    I had no idea there was fighting amongst fans again and even worse that you were being attacked. I think it’s for this reason many times why I don’t participate in group projects – I find out what I can and take the action I think is most appropriate. It’s messes up my mind when people are so divisive and hurtful in the name of Michael.

    I will read the letter from President Obama when I close off as I am not allowed to right click on links. I have visited Voices Education Project and recently read the case study on Michael and the media – it was very well written and researched. Made me cry for Michael again, yes, but also reinforced once again the incredible strength of this man to withstand all that he did. From my heart to your heart, thank you. [And Jan Carlson, author -Rev B]

    p.s. are links posted on a public forum to the Voices’ cases study considered a violation of copyright and ownership? [No, links are OK. Taking the content and publishing it without permission is a violation. It is part of a larger work. And most writers really object to excerpts of articles being reprinted. ~Rev B]

    Posted July 22, 2010 at 3:52 pm | Permalink
  3. Anne UK said . . .

    Dear Rev Barbara,
    I am sorry that your heart so full of love should be hurting. You have been our guide, you have helped ease so much grief, you have shown us the heart of Michael, you have shown us our own hearts. Your words have refreshed our souls and without you the world would be a much sadder place for so many of us. Thank goodness the majority of Michaels fans can see through the shadow that gets everyone fighting. Please take strength from the fact that Michael knows only too well what you have experienced, he knows how the heart can hurt and he also knows that the answer is to carry on giving out your message of love and hope just as he always did. You once said that Michael had personally picked us all to be part of all this. Well I know for a fact that he must have looked long and very hard before he chose the one person who he felt could be totally trusted to not only continue his messages but also to enlighten with eloquent words the people he had already chosen. He chose you Rev Barbara, and I for one am very grateful. Grateful that during my life I have had the wisdom snd love of two teachers, Michael and yourself. God Bless you. With much love Anne xx

    Posted July 22, 2010 at 9:35 pm | Permalink
  4. gertrude said . . .

    I hope it is OK that I have posted on other boards that I highly recommend people visit your site. I will, for example, say “please go to Barbara Kaufmann Inner Michael.” On occasion, when opening a discussion on a board, because of something you have said that I think is so important, I will tell the board members that “Barbara Kaufmann says that…” – for example “Barbara Kaufmann says that Michael asks us to feel him, and that he understands the energy field that surrounds us.” This would be an example of how I would on rare occasions, open a discussion. Most of the board I’m referring to read your site. Is this kosher to just say a little bit of what you said, AND say that it was YOU who said it, to open a discussion? Violating your copyright would be printing all or significant segments of your articles as if I wrote them myself, wouldnt it? the board I post on doesn’t allow posting of copyrighted material. I’m not doing that am I? [See my separate entry in answer. And no, Gertrude, that is not a violation.]

    Posted July 24, 2010 at 4:27 am | Permalink
  5. admin said . . .

    If everyone just lived in integrity we wouldn’t need copyright laws. I try to always give credit if I can remember who said what. What “Barbara says” is based on a lifetime of study and of course, that involves other people’s teachings, a library of books, a multitude of workshops, sitting at the feet of those I admire, and mystical experiences and shamanic journeys. I have been lucky to have had some brilliant teachers over the years. Put all this mishmash together, stir vigorously and it constitutes “Barbara’s mind.”

    The copyright issues that arose recently had to do with protecting the integrity of a body of work that one of my publishers has lent the full force of their support. As we all know, all things "Michael Jackson" can ignite a firestorm so their courage in backing this curriculum initiative is not to be taken lightly. And their trust in me is not something I wish to violate. From the beginning I tried to anticipate every scenario and took measures to protect the integrity of this publisher and of the project. And I do not apologize for fiercely doing just that. A problem occurred when someone acting as a stand-in for a vacationing director, mistakenly gave permission. It was an honest mistake. The person who received permission to reprint had a right to be insulted and angry for she followed protocol and still was asked to remove a story. Apologies were made and hopefully feathers are now smooth once again. Another copyright issue arose and I was forced to assert my copyright ownership. Sometimes peacekeeping is not easy- ask the U.N. I've had many dealings and conversations with those peacekeepers. Make no mistake, their little white trucks have firepower. For a reason. ~Rev B

    Posted July 24, 2010 at 2:33 pm | Permalink
  6. Charlene said . . .

    I’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to deal with, Barbara! I hear you when you say that all Michael ever wanted to do was make music, just make music. And for you, I think all you ever wanted to do was make a difference, and help all of us to make a difference.

    “Animals strike, not from malice, but because they want to live. It is the same with those who criticize, they desire our blood, not our pain. But still I must achieve, I must seek truth in all things. I must endure for the power I was sent forth, for the world, for the children. But have mercy, for I’ve been bleeding a long time now.” ~Michael Jackson Maybe you, maybe all of us, can draw some strength and endurance from this. You know what the man had to endure – you know it firsthand! And the fact that he did endure as long as he did is just hard to believe sometimes. This quote is from 1987, and he already felt like he had been bleeding a long time! My goodness, my heart still breaks when I think of it.

    I also read Charles Thomson’s blog about his problems with a fan harassing him and he has had to limit his exposure on the social networking sites. This is just a shame and so disheartening. It only takes a few sour grapes to spoil it for everyone! But we cannot let them stop or interfere with our goal. If we do, then shadow wins (and you know how I feel about that!) It’s not happenin’ here! 🙂

    I will be participating in the Major Love Prayer today and will certainly hold these issues, as well as you and Mr. Thomson, in my heart as I pray. We can and will make a difference in this world! Michael believes in us, so we must believe in us, no matter what.

    Posted July 25, 2010 at 1:41 pm | Permalink
  7. admin said . . .

    Here is something that just came on another post it but seems appropriate to post here as well:

    “Your paranoia about copyrighting and threatening “your ip address is recorded as….” bothers me (to say it midly). What are you going to do with my ip adddress just because I highlighted a paragraph? I wanted someone to see it for sure; what is so evil about that? What if seeing that paragraph made that woman want to read the whole article?

    You can’t talk love for humanity and be afraid someone will profit from your writings. [I have already explained that articles here may be shared. The specific copyright issue raised was to honor a contract with a publisher and to respect their organization. The IP address being recorded is the web developer protecting copyrighted images. Whew shadow on the horizon! Rev. B]


    Let me ask you this: What if Michael Jackson, when he was a boy, was trained to believe that all the mistrust you imagine he may have felt over all the leaches trying to get something from him meant that HE was a paranoid and no one was doing him any harm; all in his mind? What would have become of him? So, now I try to save this message and I cannot? What is wrong with you, writing like a saint then being so paranoid?” [Nope, no saint in this corner. What’s in yours? ~Rev B.]

    Posted July 25, 2010 at 10:38 pm | Permalink
  8. Nicole P-H (France) said . . .

    Dearest Barbara, I am so very sorry that you have to endure so many attacks, misunderstandings and difficulties! The only thing I can say is that when Michael left this earth I felt that we lost a “Light.” But, I did find another Light in you, Barbara! Having you in my life, brings back joy, hope, heart, soul, spirituality and L.O.V.E to my whole existence. Because of you, I feel that I am closer to Michael’s heart and soul. And because of your beautiful writings and your spiritual teachings, I get a deeper understanding on the purpose of existence . Barbara, I am very honored to know you and to be involved with you in a “sacred activism” to “change the world” in Michael’s memory. You are loved. Nicole P-H

    Posted July 26, 2010 at 1:49 pm | Permalink
  9. Karlene said . . .

    Wow! Rev B, I cannot believe the things people are saying to you. Where is all this hostility coming from? So sad that there is so much negativity in the name of Michael Jackson – a man who stood for nothing but unconditional love. Please don’t let the shadows discourage you, there are so many of us that enjoy your words and you been there for me in many of my dark hours; sometimes I am at such a low point and then I receive one of your beautiful messages. I read your reply to Gertrude about the need for copyright laws – it is a sad fact of life but so true. Peace and Love.

    Posted July 27, 2010 at 2:11 am | Permalink
  10. Jeanne said . . .

    I knew something was happening Barbara, I just did not know the extent… I pulled out an old comic book the other day. It has Superwoman on it and I read a bit of it ginning ear to ear. We have all been super woman at one time or another so I know we can all relate. We all know how when something is important your passion is there, and where there is that much energy all things draw near- good and bad. But listen here Super Woman, you are doing a good job to save the world and we your new friends will be right there with you when the villians come. In fact, I am getting your cape ready right now and just like when Michael honored James with the cape, get ready girl cause you ( as James Brown would say ) “Got the power haaaaaayyyyyowwww Hit me one time!” For those of you who dont know, thats’ a Southern thang. LOVE JEANNE

    Posted July 27, 2010 at 4:56 am | Permalink
  11. Cassie said . . .

    Since Michael’s untimely death on June 25, 2009, my cry has been: “who will care for and love all the lost children?” Who will be their voice now that their greatest advocate for a life given to love of man and mankind, for the cultivation of our planet has been take away from them…from us? We must continue to fight for them. We have to. It is through children that we see the face of God. It is in their eyes that we see hope and promise. It is in their hearts that lay the premise of tomorrow’s society. They will determine by values instilled in them today, as children, whether this planet will survive or destruct. It’s today’s children who are tomorrow’s promise– our leaders, our adversaries. We must raise them up in the way that will be in fulfillment to God’s promise of abundant life. Who will care for all the lost children? I hope the resounding answer to that simple question is that we will because we must. Michael Jackson’s suffering will always be a beacon light that will shine and remind that there is goodness, there is kindness, there is compassion in this world. I will walk in it because I know that it will never lead me in the wrong direction. I love you more because Michael loved me and you most.

    Posted July 27, 2010 at 9:41 pm | Permalink
  12. Shadow always returns hurting hearts! But I trust that truth will prevail. God’s ways are inscrutable. The important thing is not to quit. Mood! Barbara. Keep working through LOVE to heal the world. Go on Michaeling. Keep shinning for us, please! Voices Education Project is a very important work. God Bless You! Silvia

    Posted July 29, 2010 at 9:28 am | Permalink

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