Inner Michael » A Message to Michael at Forest Lawn

A Message to Michael at Forest Lawn

I told only a couple people this story when it first happened in the beginning of June. It was too fresh and too personal at that time to share it. We told it on a radio show on the anniversary of Michael’s passing. A few people  requested that I tell this whole story here so I will let you in on a magical moment in time with Michael: “A Message to Michael at Forest Lawn.”

“Fan” doesn’t really describe me. It’s too strong a word. Or maybe it’s the wrong word. But after almost a year of researching the man, if I am still here, I am probably an admirer. If I had found reason to loathe Michael Jackson, I would not be here. I am here. I am fascinated. I am astonished. I am in awe. Yes, on this journey, I have learned to admire Michael Jackson, his life and work. And strangely, or maybe not given what I have heard and experienced, I feel close to the man.

So when I just happened to be on the computer as one of the Inner Michael readers contacted me to tell me she was going to Forest Lawn Cemetery to see where Michael Jackson is interred, I set an automatic mantra: “may grace go with you” and immediately dispatched an angel to accompany her.” [Yes, you can do that, you know. There are multitudes of unemployed angels standing around waiting for requests, but you have to ask. And if the request in any way violates the person’s sovereignty, the angel stands back because they can’t intervene without permission. Free will… and all that. But if the person runs into difficulty, there is an angel on standby when they utter ‘Oh God, help me.’]

She told me that when she made the decision to go, I popped into her head uninvited; so she asked if she could be a courier and take something to him from me. She was emailing me from her i Phone and I just happened to be at my computer. She was in a florist shop and sent an email message:

L: “Decided I am going to Forest Lawn tomorrow. Am in a floral shop. Want to send flowers for Michael? Sunflowers? A candle maybe? A card?”

I trusted this person because of our multiple contacts and her work on the Voices Education Project Curriculum being developed in Michael’s honor. And because to her, like others, I have become a kind of quasi spiritual advisor since Michael’s passing triggered a spiritual emergency and awakening. I am familiar, and find her credible and trustworthy.

B: “Oh, yes, please take something for me…” But no. No thanks, no candle.” (Michael had enough fire, in fact he had too much; the fire contributed to his sleeplessness.)

L: “Flowers?”

B: “One flower. A lone white rose, please. And an Eagle feather. A white rose and Eagle feather tied with a ribbon. A dark cornflower blue ribbon.”

L: (Thinking to herself:) “What? An Eagle feather? In Southern California? Where am I going to find an Eagle feather?” But she said “where to get an Eagle feather?”

Eagle feathers are not legal for white people since only Native Americans are allowed to possess them. It’s the whole endangered species thing and because of the Eagle being the national symbol for America. Native peoples may have them because Eagle feathers are part of ritual regalia or traditional dress that they wear. It’s part of their spiritual practice and is classified as a religion. And the Eagle feather downed stands for a “fallen warrior.” When an Eagle feather is downed as it falls from a headdress or other part of a regailia at Pow-Wow, everything stops. And then the whole company does a special dance to honor the fallen one and dance him back to the creator.

I emailed to her i-phone that a hobby shop might have a faux feather dyed to look like Eagle.

L: “Would you like a card?”

B: “Yes, please. A blank card if there is one.”

There was no hobby shop. No Eagle feathers.

L: “No Eagle feathers. OMG, there is an eagle card.” (It was sitting in the middle of the rack all by itself.)

B: “Of course there is.”

L: “It’s a whole eagle on the card. OMG! It’s the last one!”

B: “Of course.”

A white rose because white is the combination of all colors and contains their vibrations within. It is the alchemical hidden rainbow, and it is the color of purity and particularly, innocence. An Eagle feather because it is a totem Michael embodied and would recognize. A blue ribbon to hold it all together; blue because it is the color of the throat chakra- the chakra of sound and voice and power.

I said, OK for the card and declined the offer to use a feather from her Dreamcatcher (she even sent a picture) because they are mostly pheasant feathers. No thanks, I was looking for an Eagle. She sent a picture of the card with the Eagle. It took up the whole front of the card- stunning. I told her how an Eagle had flown over my car as I rounded the bluffs over the lake on the way home. I was playing Michael on CD- Will You Be There? The Eagle card will do nicely. But just in case, I told her to be on the lookout for a feather at Forest Lawn.

Here is what the Eagle means in Native American totem language:


Spirit, Healing, Creation

The eagle is symbol of the zenith.
A great reminder of your own ability to soar to great heights.
Eagles are messengers from heaven and are the embodiment of the spirit of the sun.
Those with an Eagle totem need to have an involvement with creation;
a willingness to experience extremes;
a willingness to use your ability
even if it means getting “scorched” a little as you fly high;
a willingness to seek out your true emotions.
A demanding totem, but one that offers so much reward at the end of the journey.
Its four-toed feet remind you to stay grounded even went soaring high;
Its talons remind you to grasp the things of the earth;
Its sharp beak shows you when to speak, how much, and how strongly.
This totem will show you opportunities and how to ride the winds to your benefit.
Eagle people can live in the realm of the spirit
yet still remain connected and balanced within the realm of the Earth.
You must become much more than you ever dreamed possible.

L: “What would you like written on the card?”

B:  “So it is, Obe Wan, Master, and Sensei …
You have led me to my Inner Michael.

I will always see you in the silver light
where you laugh and throw back your head
to show me that sense of humor
the wit so biting
you sharpen your tongue on the crescent moon.

To face me sometimes in full frontal shine
lose me in conversations, quiet urgings
when the grandmother comes pregnant and full
and you leave two small toe-prints for mankind
moonwalking in a far happier place.

May you continue to swiftly go the way of the Eagle lithe spirit.
I do now love you more.
Rev. B”

On Sunday, my thoughtful benefactor sister traveled to Forest Lawn and delivered my message. I was in church at the time. When I got home there was an email waiting for me:

L: “It is done.”

B: “Yes, it is.”

That Sunday in church was the “Flower Communion” annual service at my UU Fellowship. People bring flowers, then take home flowers- an exchange if you will. A communion. A sharing of the earth’s beautiful bounty with others in the interconnected web of life.

We also unveiled a new chalice. The chalice is the Unitarian Universalist symbol for the sacred. Sacred fire, actually. The new chalice is beautiful. It’s filled with stones that have been worn smooth by the forces of nature. Just like people who have been worn smooth by the forces of nature. It’s a work of art. A work of art that holds earth and fire. Stunning.

I had forgotten it was Flower Communion Sunday, so I had no flower/s with me. “Come anyway” the garden of communion called from the altar.

So, I get to the altar and there it is… all by itself—a single white rose. This single white rose among lilies, carnations, daisies, and all other kind of flower. Only one rose in the bunch. A white rose. A budding white rose- her petals wrapped around herself with a single petal beginning to peek open. A shy rose. A shy rose with so much beauty.

What other choice was there?

So I wrote her about my experience in church. She wrote back to say that the white rose she had chosen for Michael has one petal that was just beginning to peek out from the core… a shy rose…

And she sent pictures:


She says she was happy to be the courrier. Says she’s still reeling a bit.

I am chuckling.

She wanted to know what did I make of that? What did I think?

“Magic. Sheer magic. Michael magic. And: ‘Message received.’”


  1. lmt said . . .

    And that is the way it was.

    One might wonder what that felt like–what it felt like to be a part of magic. I am a left brain, prove it to me sort of person–science and physical matter is reality. Of course, all things around and about Michael are different.

    The moment that the eagle presented herself in the center of a large card display–alone–not even an envelope–the body does a funny thing–for me, it was a numbing, slow motion, OMG moment.

    The white rose you can see in the picture. By the time I gave it to Michael, one petal was partially open–I didn’t think much of that at the time. Just that the rose was beautiful and soft.

    The eagle and the flower were transported to Michael. There was no one else near him. No security, no cars, early on a Sunday morning, warm, sunny and silent. Too silent for Michael. No movement or music. Huge mausoleum, grey stone, final in it’s symbolism. There are stone benches outside where I was able to sit and talk to him. Mostly I told him that I was sorry and my tears didn’t ease the feelings of loss.

    The retrieval of a white rose 2000 miles away within 24 hours–a rose that mirrored the one left on stone for Michael–to me was an answer and a question. The answer was to my doubts and wondering and said “Yes, I am here, not as gone as you think” and the question for me was “Will You Be There?” —

    Now this left brain person believes in Magic, I believe that Michael is with us everyday, I know he feels our love and I know that I am loved more.

    Posted July 3, 2010 at 8:03 pm | Permalink
  2. Kim said . . .

    Rev Barbara. I listened to this story partially on the radio show. I didn’t tune into during live show, I listened to the first hour via recording. Nevertheless, when I heard that story, I was not surprised that Michael was sending a message. Now as I read what “lmt” posted and see the pictures, I’m speechless. I too am a person that usually needs proof, but slowly I’m learning that I need to just listen, look and believe. As I read the words from “lmt” above, I am grateful. How beautiful of a feeling that must have been!!! Thank you both for sharing your experience with Michael. <3 L.O.V.E.

    Posted July 3, 2010 at 10:12 pm | Permalink
  3. Kim said . . .

    Rev. Barbara, also thank you for posting about the Eagle totem and that it was Michael’s totem. I’ve been reading up on totems myself. My totem is the butterfly. I find it very interesting how totems align to who we truly are. Thank you. [ I don’t know what Michael considered his totem or if he even claimed one- the Eagle is the totem he seems to closely represent to me. -Rev. B. ]

    Posted July 3, 2010 at 10:14 pm | Permalink
  4. Anne Mette Jepsen said . . .

    Thank you SO much for sharing! It’s beautiful! It’s magic! It’s L.O.V.E.:) LOVE and GRATITUDE 🙂

    Posted July 3, 2010 at 10:24 pm | Permalink
  5. admin said . . .

    “You’re welcome” to all who wrote to say ‘thanks for sharing’ because you understood this was a private lump-in-the-throat moment. Now you too, have had that LITT moment. These are magical times we live in if only we pay attention and do our part to change the world- Michael knew that. You ask what book will give you an introduction and insight into totems? “Animal Speak” by the late beloved Ted Andrews. ~Rev. B

    Posted July 4, 2010 at 1:54 pm | Permalink
  6. Susan T said . . .

    Thank you, Rev. Barbara, for sharing such a beautiful, deep and spiritual blessing. Now I know I must get that book. It comes as no surprise to learn that the eagle was Michael’s totem. It is awe-inspiring to see how this all unfolded yet in some ways expected because of his magic. We see much with our eyes but it is through our hearts and minds that we really observe. This has comforted me greatly. Thank you!

    Posted July 4, 2010 at 7:58 pm | Permalink
  7. Kate said . . .

    So Beautiful! So Michael.

    Posted July 4, 2010 at 9:54 pm | Permalink
  8. Jeanne said . . .

    We call it “magic ” and it is. But it is the power of L.O.V.E. and we all have that available to us here and from the other side of life. The power to make something as beautiful as a rose become visual, is a symbol of this power called L.O.V.E. It is so elementary and easy and only becomes magnificent when we think that the power is not within our realm. Truth be known, this is around us all the time and is why Michael saw this magic daily from the innocence of a child’s eye. That is exactly what the world would not understand about Michael. He never let the “have to do’s” of life take that from his eyes of innocence. Michael knows beauty and knows that Barbara, the wordsmith, can make us see the truth of this through her gift of sculpting words. Michael knows even from beyond this life that like the innocence of a child who can stare at the creation of a fire fly and marvel at this magic, that yes, this is science and magic. So what is wrong with joy? Or love? Both penetrate the soul. Both make one intoxicated enough to dance. Both bring smiles. Is this magic or reality? Yes Susan.. it is through our hearts that we observe. And when our eyes observe through our hearts we respect everything around us deeply, lovingly, respectfully, and beautifully just like that soft petal of only one white rose. So perfect. When you think like this, feel like this, what on earth can replace this feeling? That’s magic. And it is for us all.

    Posted July 4, 2010 at 10:22 pm | Permalink
  9. Dalia said . . .

    What happened with the white rose is too coincidental. Although Michael is no longer physically, his spiritual presence is felt! His spirit is boundless love, is magical.

    Posted July 5, 2010 at 4:07 am | Permalink
  10. It's all for L.O.V.E said . . .

    I’ve also heard Michael’s sweet “whisper” in the most unexpected places. It’s all for L.O.V.E.

    Posted July 5, 2010 at 11:56 pm | Permalink
  11. Laura said . . .

    This story is so magical and beautiful, my soul is smiling. I bought ten white roses for Michael and yes, after some time one of the roses looked so funny and playful, cause it had two or three petals opened. I wish I would have taken a photo of that playful rose! I just stared it and thought of Michael. The 25th was so beautiful and full of love. I took part in the Major Love Prayer and when I had finished praying, I heard three chrystal clear snaps from the table I had a candle for Michael. I’d like to think it as a sign from Michael, although there must be a boring explanation for this… I love him more and seems he loves us most!

    Posted July 6, 2010 at 1:52 pm | Permalink
  12. Marijo said . . .

    Wow what syncronicty! Yes a magical blessing. I was on that radio show with you Barbara, and we spoke about how this shapshifter/shaman, Michael, touched our souls and awakened our consciouness with his voice. I felt very weapy that day but at 11:26 (est) I felt a shift. I work with my spiritual guides and teach meditation so this shift is my heart expanding. Michael is alive until his last fan dies…. I am sure he will live forever. Thank you for the wonderful story- thank you for Inner Michael. Blessings, Marijo

    Posted July 7, 2010 at 3:56 pm | Permalink
  13. gertrude said . . .

    Someone I know went to LA on the 25th (to Forest Lawn, Neverland, the house where Michael died, Staples center, and the courthouse) where a group of 60 intelligent, evolved, grown-ups doubled over in grief the energy was so strong there. While in the back of a shuttle bus as the group began talking deeply about the meaning of Michael, a beautiful aroma infused that part of the bus! Every person on that bus was asked if they had sprayed some pefume, or put on body lotion or had done something to create the aroma. No one had. I just know in my heart this was Michael’s favorite fragrance and that he was there. I think he knows what we are going through. I cry and am so sorry to Michael, and for every wrong thing I have personally ever done. It is healing.

    Posted July 13, 2010 at 2:33 pm | Permalink
  14. Karen said . . .

    When my husband passed in 2005 I had many signs that he was around me and that helped ease the pain of losing him. I am going to visit Michaels gravesite in Oct and I hope I get a sign from him also. My girlfriend is a pureblood Native American Indian and I will have her get me a Eagle feather,she is very much into the culture and I believe all she tells me. Michael was the most wonderful and missunderstood person in the world. I miss him so much.

    Posted July 14, 2010 at 9:43 pm | Permalink
  15. Nawlah Madu said . . .

    Every Day in my life is a happy day every time I hear Michael Jackson’s voice and his music. The most amazing artist’s show can put a smile on your face. Its a beautiful day to see him finally happy[ its magical. And he`s still here in our hearts.

    Posted May 23, 2012 at 10:29 pm | Permalink

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