Inner Michael » Out of Shadow into the Light

Out of Shadow into the Light

I still believe in innocence. I still believe in goodness. And I still believe in love. Call me a fool. Call me naïve. I can’t help it, I am a Flower Child! I miss those days. I would go back to Woodstock in a heartbeat and I will when the time machine shows up on Ebay. I want to wear skirts again that whirl when I spin and jeans with yellow flowers that bell at the bottoms; I want to run barefoot through the grass and mud and wear more flowers and feathers in my hair. I want hate to be spelled Haight instead, just one more time. When I turn on the TV, I want to hear the intro from Soul Train and feel that abdominal buoyancy and those heart palpitating rhythms of Motown and of the Jackson Five.

I still feel that intense longing for Peace in the world; I still hear John Lennon in my head saying to give it a chance; still hurt over the loss of Janis and Jimi; and I still cry about my friends who didn’t come home from Viet Nam and even more for those who did. I want war to be unthinkable. I still think “We Are the World.” And I want that world to be one giant “Love In.”

 I want to feel again the aliveness of a real activism that did things like: expanded the definition of “family,” made advances in racial equality, extended civil rights, revealed war for what it really is, gave us feminism and workplace equity, jump started environmentalism and brought to life activism in lyrics and philanthropy through music and celebrity. Michael Jackson contributed significantly to the legacy of those times.

So are we finished? This is it?

I want to change the world and I want to believe that together we still can. I don’t want to hear one more time, in a critical tone: ‘you are such an idealist!’ That stings. What’s wrong with being an idealist? Michael was.  I’m an empath and I feel it all. So did Michael. I feel its woundedness and I want the world to be healed; I want its soul restored and I refuse to give up on humanity. We are better than that. I believe!

Do you want to believe too? Will you try? Will you try it on just one more time… that conviction that together we can change the world?  The skirt and jeans may not fit any longer or long ago went to mothball heaven but hope never fades if you keep it alive in your heart.

If I hear one more time “the darkness is gathering” and the doom and gloom of resignation, I will throw up. Make you wanna scream? Oh yeah. Make you angry? Good. Now stop your kindergarten tittering about who loves MJ more, muster up all the anger you collected and bring it to the table. Then put it on the table. Now take the energy from that heaping mess of madness, sculpt it and use it for Michaeling.

Or would you rather stay in the darkness and sink into that murky abyss? How long do you want to tread water there? God Bless You but Adios because the rest of us are swimming to the other shore.

You are welcome to your darkness and your whining and to shovel more upon what’s already a heaping pile of blackness.  Is that where you want to stay? We, however, are movin’ outta there and movin’ on up into the light. So excuse us if we ask you to step away over there so that your shadow doesn’t fall here and block the light that’s coming in. Or do you want to come along with us? We’ll leave the light on for you.

Michael said: “a major love.” MAJOR love. Was that your best shot of major love? Major may mean sustained for awhile. You ready to give up now? What? You’re fatigued working toward the light? What’s your alternative? Can you “Jam” some more or is it too much for you?

You don’t clean up anything by sitting down and making yourself at home in the mess. Is that what Michael would do? Are you doing your shadow work? Are you being love in the world? Are you embodying the vibe? Being part of the solution instead of the problem? Yes, there is brokenness in the world. There are broken people. So what now? Give in to the shadow?

Ok, so you’re human. Sometimes you forget. Yeah, me too. And Yep, it’s all part of the journey. Part of being human and living in a body on an unfinished planet. So you done now? Or you want to begin again? How many times did Michael do that? He said a man is expected to walk when he is not able and that he was only human. OK. But did you see him resign from life? Or did you watch him rest awhile and then come back again with the love, with the love…

Some Michael advocates have come up with awesome case studies for the Violence in Words Curriculum that is being developed in memory of Michael Jackson. Those wounds were painful and they were deep but the authors sincerely took on the shadow that once invaded their lives and confronted their brokenness, taking back their power. They have learned that courage combined with authentic vulnerability (innocence?) defeats shadow in one’s life and it can defeat shadow in the world because the world is nothing more than a vector of individual lives. The world’s shadow is a vector of individual shadow.

Want to scare the shadow away? Point more light in its direction. If someone else is being huge shadow… all the more reason for you to be more light to counteract its volume. We don’t release shadow by heaping more darkness onto it; we release shadow by dissipating it with light.

Look at it this way: Every situation has a blueprint—all the variable possibilities and outcomes that can evolve from that situation. That’s the quantum world of possibility. Within that blueprint is the Divine Reality—God’s blueprint of perfection. God, Allah, Buddha, Krishna—doesn’t matter what you name it—the Divine perfection outcome is in there! It’s already an idea in that mix! 

How do you make an idea real? You give it attention. You give it credence. You call it forth. You call it forth and forward from the unmanifest and will it into being. You want to place your attention on shadow? To keep it on shadow? Then expect more shadow on its way to you. And to me, unfortunately. To all of us. You heard of mankind’s free will? That would be it—will it into creation. Deconstruct the shadow by visualizing the light within the blueprint—see the perfect outcome in your mind’s eye. Your mind’s eye is how you see the world. Want to wear dark glasses? Guess what color the world will be. The color: dark. Give enough people permanent sunglasses and the world gets darker and stays dark. Oops, forget you had sunglasses on?

Attention is creation. What is your attention on? What you focus on you create more of. Want to step into the light? Create it in your mind’s eye. Take off the filter of darkness. Put on the filter that makes you see light. Take a million people with mind’s eyes creating that same brilliant reality and you have a vector of what? Brilliance? Wow—that would be the opposite of shadow, huh?

Now there’s a brilliant idea whose time has come.

So… if you’re ready to take on shadow…The meditation is available!

Many people asked me for guidance on how to work with shadow. There were many requests for a guided meditation for how to shift the shadow and heal the brokenness. This is a concept that Michael understood well. Meeting shadow with more shadow doesn’t fix shadow, it adds to it. So for those who asked..

Here is what I want to say to you: Thank God for you. Thank Michael for you. You are part of the Hundredth Monkey Brigade. You are the chosen ones; you are the ones the Hopi told us were the ones we are waiting for. I thank you for your contract and your steadfastness. I thank you for your acute hearing with that Inner Ear that heard your Inner Michael. We are a voice. A Force. Are we critical mass? Create it! Create that it emerge and be so out of shadow and into the light. LYM

I wanted to have the meditation ready for you for June 25th and the anniversary of Michael’s passing if you needed it. You will find it here and under Tools for Change at Inner Michael under the “Making that Change” tab and also on the links page. If you purchase the meditation, be sure to download the introduction so that you have a background for the meditation. Please let me know what your experiences are. It would be a good idea for many of us to do this meditation together. We are working on that possibility. Stay tuned. Namaste and happy Michaeling.

Be sure to download both parts! And please do not share or reprint or post anywhere without permission.
Here you go Obe Wan… Inner Michael Meditation for Healing (c) 2010 Rev. B. Kaufmann, Inner Michael


  1. Jan said . . .

    I am with you on the Woodstock thing. Let’s go back there. We were new! We were alive! And we were not going to let our parent’s brokenness break us! We were going to change the world! Just by our very presence, we were a force. We were living in communes and driving psychedelic VW buses and listening to music that changed us as we were changing it! Michael was just starting then, and we HEARD the joy over the speakers as we buzzed along. We couldn’t help but share it! He connected with our hearts and made us hum and clap and stomp our feet. Later, he renewed that connection as our growing up made us forget the vows we’d made to the world we lived in. With Thriller and Bad he hauled us back. With Dangerous and HIStory he commanded our attention. Some of us defended him with the tools he had provided by making us aware that we had possessed them all along. Some of us still do twenty years later.

    We may have taken a break, but we always came back to the shelter he provided … and still provides, but in a different way, now. His umbrella still provides us haven if we just duck under it.

    The meditation is wonderful. I am glad you reminded me to grab a box of kleenex and a glass of water, though. I needed it! I didn’t want to let him go! It tears me up. I know that’s irrational as we approach this anniversary because Michael, we want you back!

    Posted June 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm | Permalink
  2. Kim said . . .

    Thank you Barbara. As usual, your words were inspiring. As I was reading them, I felt many different emotions; laughter, nostalgia, reflection, sadness, and anger. I found myself crying and laughing; sometimes all at the same time. I have downloaded the meditation and instruction manual. Thank you for taking the time out to do what you do and for this meditation. I think the timing is perfect. To know that Michael understand about shadow helps me feel closer to him. I would imagine that perhaps the shadow grew too large at times for him; however, he seemed to be strong because he kept fighting. I will do the same, but in a more positive and loving way. Shifting the shadow is just one way that I can do that. Understanding our purpose to improve the human condition is another way as well. Great article…thank you much. Namaste!

    Posted June 15, 2010 at 4:23 pm | Permalink
  3. Susan T said . . .

    You know, “All the leaves aren’t brown, and the sky is only occasionally gray!” Sometimes we have to “wait.” Sizzle! I love that term that Michael used. What a master of anticipation; of creating tension, expectation and ultimately, MAGIC!

    Deep in the hearts of all of us resides the desire to contribute positively to the human experience. We’re now all united through our recognition of and appreciation for Michael’s profound gifts to the world. We’re all idealists and flower children at heart.

    We all struggle painfully at times with shadow. I’m just beginning to understand its effects and how we can work with it to our best advantage. One thing I have learned in the last year is that love is truly the most powerful force in the universe. What I have witnessed in just a short time is very moving and inspires me to pick up the pace, look for the good–it’s everwhere–think before I speak and consider how my words will be received by others.

    June 25th will be a day filled with every emotion the human heart can experience. It will provide opportunities to celebrate and rejoice in Michael’s life. It will no doubt bring sadness and heartache, knowing the disturbing facts we now know. Will I ever truly be completely at peace with knowing that Michael isn’t here with us anymore, that we can no longer have the opportunity of a lifetime and experience his overwhelming aura? No. I never will. I’m reading the book by his fans–“It’s All for Love” and I cry,oh, do I cry!…but I laugh too and I want to hug and hold hands with the laughing fans. I want us to remember that he would want us to be happy and to laugh and to do good, even if it’s just smiling at someone who looks like they need a friendly smile.

    Do I have “Michael Moments”? Just had one the other day. One of his CD’s had just ended while I was driving home from work. I pressed “eject” and instantly heard the staccato beat intro of ‘Wanna Be Startin’ Something and was for a moment, shocked and confused. My CD player only plays one disc at a time. I smiled and realized that he was being playful- the radio station played his song at that particular time. It’s one of my favorites! Guess he knew that! Loved the moment and realized that it happened for a reason. He wants us to know that he’s only gone from our sight. He’s still here, there, and everwhere that love resides. Great write up again, as always, Barbara! Big thanks and L.O.V.E.! –Susan T

    Posted June 15, 2010 at 5:15 pm | Permalink
  4. Lynne said . . .

    Reading your postings are like a breath of fresh air. I too linger in the vibe and energy of the 60’s before it started to be dimmed. I do believe – the world is evolving more and more into soul living. Michael Jackson’s death is a catalyst. What I have to do is filter all of the crazy news making stuff out of my radar, the trial and everything and return to the message of love. Knowing he was human and the shadow side was with him as it is in all of us and subject to transformation is a beautiful thing. I look forward to downloading the meditation.

    Posted June 15, 2010 at 5:55 pm | Permalink
  5. Anne Mette Jepsen said . . .

    Thank you Rev. Kaufmann! You have a way of saying the right things at the exactly right time…..Looking forward to participate in the meditation:)

    Posted June 15, 2010 at 7:18 pm | Permalink
  6. Jeanne said . . .

    In tears right now. Feeling every word. Loving each other IS cool isnt it? I always thought so. And I knew that human touch is not a thing of the past. So if you can feel it my sister, here is a big HUG FOR YOU. You just touched me with love and I like it so much I cant stop crying. I am with you. Lets bring salvation back, where there is L.O.V.E. I’ll be there, and we must live each day like its the last “Go wtih it Go with it and Jam!” You did it to me again; Michael did it to me again speaking to me and through me. I love you for it. I love you for sharing your thoughts, your feelings, your beautiful words. I am going to put the flowers back in my hair and smile more at everyone I see; dance whenever I want to again. And when that song comes on over the musac in the grocery store, if I get the urge again I am going to sing along with it and not even care. I remember Seal’s song sang it, that you’re never going to survive unless you get a little crazy… I am just a little crazy for things like: good loving feelings, good words, good deeds, good people. I too am tired of the stuff that does not feel good. Done with it and talking about it. I am ready to show up again. I’ve been here in my party too long; my pity party is over- This Is It. I’m on this mission. I just got through ordering the CD series “Flower Power” and man oh man I am about to get groovin again. This world needs me. Needs US! We’re family like Michael said, “Just know that.” I believe it now. WE ARE going to bring more LOVE back to this planet.

    Posted June 15, 2010 at 8:33 pm | Permalink
  7. Anne UK said . . .

    Dear Rev Barbara,
    I have today purchased the two downloads,oh what can I say? The “Working with Shadow” download is so informative and will help me no end in my shadow work. I will readily admit to never having meditated before but when I put the meditation download on I found it the most beautiful experience, I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face but at last I have a sense of peace in my heart that Michael is at peace with The Creator now.
    I feel as though at some point in my life I entered into a contract with Michael– a contract that for all of my remaining days I will do my utmost to uphold. To carry on Michael’s wishes is an honour. We will all walk the white sparkly road together.
    Since that awful day last year, I have known without a shadow of a doubt that a part of Michael took up residency in my heart. I could not understand this very strong feeling I had but tonight I know the reason why. Yes I do-there are so many of us the world over who are prepared to shine our lights and sparkle. So how can the world not benefit from this? It will. I can promise Michael and you that I will faithfully follow my shadow work.
    This journey with you these past months has been one of the blessings of my life. It has been so enlightening, especially in view of the fact it started when I was so low. Brought low by a grief that devastated and overwhelmed me as it did so many of us. A grief I could not understand but with your wise words and how I felt that you knew the heart of Michael, I have been able to understand that he was my teacher. In a early post you stated that we had been chosen by Michael. That one sentence has given me so much comfort. For all your posts I can only say thank you, two little words, somehow they seem so inadequate for what you have done for me. I shall remember it always. With my love to you, Anne UK x

    Posted June 16, 2010 at 8:03 am | Permalink
  8. Tania from Australia said . . .

    Thankyou Barbara for this article and for the meditation you have provided for those of us who have committed themselves to this shadow-shifting work. Bless you for your wonderful efforts to this cause we have now been called to. The chosen ones indeed!

    I’d just like to reiterate the remark from Anne UK when she says: “I feel as though at some point in my life I entered into a contract with Michael– a contract that for all of my remaining days I will do my utmost to uphold. To carry on Michael’s wishes is an honour.”

    It seems I have entered into this same contract with Michael. My signature on this contract is engraved on my heart and cannot be erased, ever. I know it wont be easy – this is challenging work but im up for it. Its the least I can do when Michael gave his life for this cause.

    It only takes one small step by each of us to begin, all moving together in the same direction. In time each of those steps will join up and become an army…..Michael’s army of LOVE in action. The sum is greater than the parts. And we all must play our part to reach the end result.
    Just imagine the possibilities…..all light, no shadow.
    That is the kind of world I want to live in.

    Michael says these beautiful words in the song In Our Small Way:

    “Maybe you and I can’t do great things
    We may not change the world in one day
    But we still can change some things today…
    In our small way

    Just a little time is all it takes
    What a difference just a smile can make, you’ll see
    Love is all we need

    Maybe you and I can’t do great things
    We may not change the world in one day
    But we still can change some things today…
    In our small way”

    We are just called to play our part.
    With a grateful heart, thankyou again Barbara for being a light for us here.

    Posted June 17, 2010 at 11:01 am | Permalink
  9. Alicia said . . .

    Thank you Rev. Kaufmann! You have a way of saying the right things at the exactly right time…..Looking forward to participate in the meditation:) LOVE and GRATITUDE 🙂

    Posted June 19, 2010 at 1:36 pm | Permalink
  10. gertrude said . . .

    You had me at yellow flowers. I LOVE yellow flowers, and I love the Haight. I really want to swim to that other shore – I dont know if I will keep up with you. I have an amazing life – I’m surrounded by sweetie pies at work, my job is helping people, my family is hours of fun, I live in the downtown core of the city of my dreams – I could go on and on about how cool & happy my life is, but I cry every day about the planet’s destruction, the orphans sitting alone in a forest somewhere with no one to care a fig about them, the viciousness and lies of the media. And as upbeat as this article is my heart did not grow its wings back and I think it should have at least a bit. Is this my shadow? The one that feels despair for the human race and fear that we won’t make it? I’ll get that meditation as soon as a techie installs a CD burner for me. Maybe if I read this article over and over…..

    Posted June 20, 2010 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

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