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Remembering Cat: Rev. Dr. Catherine Gross

This is how I grieve– I spill the grief out with my fingers, onto paper or into key strokes. After I wrote this piece, I realized it’s not finished. Memories of things we spoke about and happenings we pondered are triggered by speaking to friends and acquaintances about this sudden loss of a friend. I will add things as they occur to me. You are invited to share your memories of Catherine in the comment section. I’ll save them for us.

Remembering Cat

“Don’t you make me come down there!”

Catherine Gross and I exchanged that admonishment once in awhile. The phrase came up in conversation when one of us was caught being naughty– naughty in the sense that we weren’t taking good care of ourselves.

I met Catherine Gross in a virtual conversation about Michael Jackson when I held open forum conference calls for fans and advocates of Jackson who were grieving the loss of their favorite muse- Michael Joseph Jackson. I was putting together a program on bullying dedicated to him and to Lady Diana– the two most visible champions of humanity on our planet in the 20th century and its turn to the 21st. You see, many of us hung on to Michael’s every word in lyrics because he was the most visible champion of humanity in our world…

Some of us grew up poor, some abused or abandoned, some misunderstood, some sensitive to the world, some in unforgivable circumstances, some trapped in situations they couldn’t escape. For us, for them, Michael Jackson was the only steadfast anchor in a stormy life. We grew up not understanding the world and the nature of people that was so counter to what we were born with– a vision of a better world, a better humanity. Michael Jackson put it into words for us.

Catherine Gross grew up with Michael too. Catherine knew children. Catherine knew hardship. Catherine knew grieving. And Catherine knew God. Catherine was someone people also turned to when they were hurting inside. Michael Jackson’s death made people hurt inside. In the blink of an eye Michael was gone and people were left reeling.

I remember my daughter texting me and as I read the words “Michael Jackson died” I remember going numb. The sadness included a feeling of the ending of an era. We never believe icons can die until they do. Catherine had her own unique reaction when she heard the news. She told me almost as a confession, she had railed and screamed at God. She was so angry! She lambasted the heavens wailing and shaking her fists and demanding– “No. Noooo. NO! You can’t have him, GIVE HIM BACK!” The anger died down after a time but that feeling never left her.

Catherine Gross called me one day and asked if we might chat. She told me that Liz Taylor had sent her to me. What? Liz Taylor knew of my work? That Liz Taylor? Catherine assured me she did and Liz had pointed her in my direction because Catherine was grieving so deeply and Liz found my work and my words about Michael consoling. Liz send Catherine to my website. They had become friends when Cat wrote to her about Michael and talked about how devastated she was and they commiserated and bonded over their loss. I found out Catherine was planning a radio show for Michael Jackson and his fans to help them cope with his loss and wanted to know if I would consider being a guest.

So began our work together and our long conversations. As Theologians we didn’t always agree because I came at it from Cosmology and Catherine arrived to her faith tradition as a fundamentalist. “Wait awhile,” I told her. I shared with her that I’ve had many gurus and teachers over the years and that Michael Jackson was the latest teacher to show up in my life. She had been a fan since the beginning. I consoled her in her grief and she consoled me in my anger. His loss cut her painfully as if she had lost a personal friend. I explained that everyone who contacted me, and there were thousands, felt that same personal pain. It was as if he was family. Even a nun said that to me. So I assured Catherine she was not crazy but in the company of others who identified with Michael’s archetype and his message. For many, he had been the sane one in their world. Ironic that the world saw him exactly the opposite. That too, is archetypal, I told Catherine.

She consoled me in my anger. I didn’t have enough heartache in my life, now the Universe sent me the most controversial figure in recent history! Now at this stage of my life when I should be writing books of fancy and sipping a cocktail with an umbrella on a beach under an umbrella– but no, God had to send me the Fool/Savior Archetype to play with. The Fool appears as the Joker archetype yet is a wise, wise and deep soul. It was the parallel archetype of Coyote from the Native American tradition– the Trickster. I had people coming to me asking for answers about the most famous and most controversial figure in the world! Oh great. I knew Michael and “We are the World” played over and over in our home when I tried to teach my children about oneness and the brotherhood of man. They continued the MJ tradition in their teens.

Catherine saw Michael circling back into my life as a writer and viewed it as my calling as well as her own. She established “A Place in Your Heart” radio and off she went to use her gift of gab to bring healing to Michael’s minions while I used my gift of words with the Inner Michael website. I learned so much! Michael is ever the trickster! Hiding spiritual epiphanies in plain sight! Add Magician to the archetype list.

As fate would have it, I met Catherine in person in Los Angeles near Hollywood at Gardner Elementary School in the Michael Jackson auditorium. I began talking to Thomas Mesereau, Jackson’s defense attorney, whom I met while there and he indicated an open chair at his table and invited me to join. I had written to him about the “Words and Violence” program I had founded that examined bullying in all its incarnations and was dedicated to Michael and Lady Diana Spencer. I handed him some cards I had made about the program and we were discussing how “Words and Violence” was hosted by Voices Education Project and was the first educational program posthumously featuring Michael and suddenly I heard a familiar voice across the table asking if she might have one too. I knew that voice! It was Catherine Gross! We hugged and laughed and explained to Tom that we knew each other from our work and from radio but we had to go all the way across the country to L.A. to meet in person! We all chucked at that.

There have been two women in my life with such a presence that nobody ever said no to them. One was Sr. Virginia who founded a retreat center where I have a  piece of adjoining property– and the other was Catherine Gross. I suspect Catherine used that formidable nature to get what she wanted for her students. I watched her employ that in action with Tom Mesereau and others at Gardner School. She helped with a group getting Michael Jackson Auditorium reinstated to its original glory. Catherine was in her element in a school. With a Masters and her Doctorate in Education, Catherine was CEO of a Christian Girls School, a school principal and the perpetual educator. We shared an interest in propaganda and yellow journalism and she was a supporter and proprietor of “Words and Violence” and its articles about tabloid journalism and how words influence minds.

We talked hours about Black Music and civil rights and how African American musicians were treated so badly by record companies. She taught me about tap dance and the history of African experience in America. She became my muse and go-to editor about racial justice and racism in “Words and Violence.” I leaned on her to tell me when my White Privilege was getting in the way. We collaborated on projects where as the White girl I could say things she wouldn’t dare and she took me places I’ve never been with her stories about growing up Black and as a highly educated Black woman. She made me walk in her shoes and for that I will be forever grateful.

She told one story of driving her high end new car in the latest model, worthy of the her station in life, when it ran out of gas in an all White suburb. Of course the police thought it was stolen– she was after all, a Black woman with a shiny new expensive car. She told of how she had to strike just the right pose, keep her eyes cast downward and be solicitous of the residents in order to get her needs met. I was angry FOR her! How dare people treat a highly educated respectable woman in such a way! That was just the tip of the iceberg of what she experienced which is why, I think, she so identified with Michael.

I remember too, Cat telling me also about sitting in a room after she had finished an interview for a job and hearing the very White man casually talk about her to another White man in the next room while standing over her and beside her– already a very awkward, patriarchal and condescending act. But it was what he said that was unforgivable but (in those days) a common tactless vulgarity. He commented to his colleague that she was a “yellow gal” meaning that she was a light skinned African American. The closest I’ve ever come to that kind of insult is being subjected to comments about my body while I was definitely in the room, as if my anatomy was on display solely to invite commentary. All women have been disrespected in that way at one time or another. But when you’re White they certainly don’t comment on your shade of Whiteness as if pallor were a badge of honor.

We talked about how, as women acculturated to value beauty and to emphasize our “looks” to be considered beautiful for the male species of course, we understood our looks however, were a badge of honor. We’d both used it effectively as younger women. Apparently Catherine was quite the femme fatale in her day. While I can’t tell you the secrets shared between two women who used their femininity to their advantage, I can tell you that Cat was apparently quite the prize in her stilettos. While I was accustomed to turning heads and I knew it, Catherine snapped them around. Taraji P. Henson as “Cookie Lyon” of the TV show “Empire” comes to mind.

Cat told me stories about 47th street in Chicago, a kind of line of demarcation or demilitarized zone where the White and Black population bumped up against each other in the Windy City. If you were Black you stayed south of that artificial Mason-Dixon line and if you were White you never crossed its northern border.

Chicago’s 47th street was home to clubs where real Black Music could be heard long into the night by masters like

[caption id="attachment_2896" align="alignright" width="300"][/caption]

Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Lena Horn, Louis Armstrong and others. The Regal and Savoy Theaters saw their heyday as 47th Street began to grow and become home to upscale shops and elite businesses catering to Black culture and the African American vibe. The Cotton Club on Michigan Street was as lively as its namesake in Harlem and hosted the likes of Cab Calloway, R. Kelly and Bernie Mac and other R & B and jazz greats. Cosette Nazon Yisrael was the owner’s daughter serving drinks before she was old enough to drink them herself. Since the Cotton Club closed, Cosette has become a lifeline and mentor to girls in the same hood.

Cat told me stories of 47th Street and I told her about the North Side of Milwaukee where I often was the only White girl in the place. I went where the music called me and where people knew how to dance. I had no fear in those days while Catherine carried enough for both of us. Most of the residents on the south side of Chicago had migrated from the South to escape the lynchings and plantation slavery mentality of the South clinging long after the Civil War.

I encouraged her to write about 47th street and asked her numerous times to submit something for “Words and Violence.” She never got around to writing about 47th Street but she did begin to write for the Examiner and I was glad to see she was taking on subjects considered taboo by some. But 47th Street memoirs never saw print; I leaned later from Catherine that it was just too painful to write about. I’d written about Black Music at Inner Michael but my experience was nothing compared to Catherine’s.

Catherine was devoted to Michael Jackson and her “lovlies,” the devotees and fans who followed her. “I love you and there is nothing you can do about it,” she used to say. And at her “A Place in Your Heart Radio,” she loved all the people who loved Michael. Her guests were often Michael’s acquaintances and collaborators– people who actually knew him, not the tabloid hacks who disemboweled him with fake stories and innuendo. They told the truth of who he was and Cat gave them the forum.

Catherine championed a girl’s academy school in Gary Indiana near Michael Jackson’s childhood home with Cadeflaw and M.J Brookins, advocates for truth and law in legacies and she solicited donations for her “girls.” Catherine loved the arts and she especially loved Michael Jackson fan art. Her most recent project in Gary was to set up an art exhibition of Michael Jackson art by fans. Again, she was in her element– education and the arts.

Catherine kept up her ministry until the last with a Facebook Page as well as her other Facebook identities.

A few years ago Catherine went “off the grid” and I hunted her down through her daughters. She was in the hospital. She had an accident in her home and they didn’t find her immediately. I told her to never do that again and that’s where the ‘Don’t make me come down there!’ came from. Just lately I noticed she was posting on line lots of religious texts and late into the night. I was worried about her. I made a mental note to reach out to her.

I was too late.

She was an unforgettable character and Reverend Doctor Catherine Gross will be remembered by many who crossed paths with her as a school principal, minister, evangelist, writer, talk show host, and champion of art and the poor.

The world is a little dimmer today without her. I will miss her. What I will cherish, remember and take with me is that in her last years, Catherine began wearing a blonde wig. I loved her daring. Being blonde– it just suited her.

(c) B. Kaufmann 2017




Comments: Inner Michael Surveys & a Thought to Leave You With by Gerri Stone

Here are some more comments from the survey with my answers:

“Rev.B has a way with words that makes it easy for anyone to understand her posts (English isn’t my first language). I was (still am) able to reference her work from time to time when I needed to explain or clarify a point to someone or to read on Michael’s greatness. Her posts are very insightful, informative & give you a broader perspective on Michael Jackson and life in general. I’m so grateful for them & her.”

My Answer:
Thank you for saying those kind words. As a minister, one wishes to ease suffering in times of grief and Spiritual Emergency but as a writer, one works hard to hone the gift to a skill that will impact readers. This comment means so much to me. Heartfelt ‘Thank You.”

“I will never know what I would have done without you. You answered my emails straight away and gave me so much insight. I will always be eternally grateful.For you to tell me that MJ touched the hearts of people who would carry his message on as he left was something I’ll never forget and how a heart has to break to let the seed of love in, I’ll also never forget.”

My Answer:
Mystics like Rumi and Hafiz said it better than I ever could that sometimes heartbreak is a necessary thing. Gerri Stone said it in her lovely poem too. So yes, your heart has been tempered (like the steel sword tempered by fire) and pierced by sorrow so as to contain and amend with compassion. For self, for others and for the planet. So now carry on luv.

“Kept me sane when everything around me seemed to be falling apart.”

My Answer:
Me too.

“participation to: everyone on the globe,to send a picture, near a geographic recognizable point in my own country with the book Man in The Music; Joe VOGEL: Brussels near the Atomium.”

My Answer:
Hi again kiddo. What better place for a supernova superstar? It was our pleasure.  ~WMS

“For me the was(s)are still is(s). I’m still struggling with MJ’s death & I find comfort in the messages.”

My Answer:
I understand. Inner Michael is not going anywhere. Take a bit of joy in knowing MJ arrived here in your lifetime. He understood and embraced his life mission while here and hereafter. He wishes you no less than that as well. Ask in dreams to know as it will lift the melancholy a bit for a deeper breath and inching forward. See Gerri’s poem.


Gerri is responsible for the video tribute at Voices Education Project:
Take a look: THE
~by Gerri StoneEvery minute of every day somewhere
in this world someone is
watching a Michael Jackson video,
listening to one of his songs
on an I-pod, blasting it in a car.And whenever his music plays a grief
arises.Free floating grief searching for
a heart to nest in. Pain trapped in the
stomach, eyes, throat.

And we in our ignorance think this pain is
surely here to destroy us.

But it is not.

It is Michael at work, removing the
raggedy burned-out thing
we’ve been carrying around in our chest
all these years,
leaving in its place our real hearts.
Awakening us from our heartless trance.

(c) 2010 Gerri Stone






Thank You

How do I say thank you to companions in my global family? There is no way to properly do it for there really are no words. Come back anytime as I will periodically have messages for you. Please leave messages for me too or send an email at the address I sent you. We have a bond that will never be broken. May you be blessed.

This will never convey it but words are all we have….

English– Thank you

Spanish– Gracias

French– Merci  Beaucoup

Italian– Grazie

Japanese–  Arigato  ありがとう

Chinese– do jeh, daw-dyeh

German– Danke sehr

Thai– Khop Khun Mak Kha

Russian– Spasiba

Korean–  감사합니다 gamsahabnida

Icelandic– Takk

Hawaiian– Mahalo

Hebrew– Toda

Greek– Efharisto


~Rev. B. Kaufmann

Michael Jackson: Caught in a Perfect Storm

MJ grieving

MJ grievingI’ve been researching Michael Jackson and all the events of his life for about 7 years now. The average “Joe” has no idea not only about what happened to him but about what it is like to be a celebrity in a culture that is cynical, judgmental and sometimes even sinister.

And when you consider that Jackson was the most famous man on Earth, it amplifies not only the love that was thrown his way but the abominable shade. If social media is an indicator, then we are becoming a culture of not just cynicism but regretfully, sadism. Retribution, retaliation, anger, ridicule and all the things that make up the dark side of human nature including all the isms can be found on an ordinary day on social media. Racism, sexism, sadism, egoism, nihilism, nationalism, as well as misogyny, xenophobia, Islamaphobia, objectification, incivility… well, you get the idea.

This is actually counter to our real nature as human beings. We are actually hard-wired for compassion as science is proving from studies at major universities and scientific think tanks. So the shade, if not an innate behavior, has to be a learned behavior. We inherit basic goodness but must use volition and determination to go against our true nature to be offensive or the extreme—evil.

Where do we learn to marshal such magnitude of resistance to our true selves? How hard must we push against our own inner nature to be dark in our interactions with others? Where do we learn it? And how do we internalize the messages from outside enough to become an automatic response? We HAVE TO BE PROGRAMED to be awful humans. Where does that programming come from?

That is a question worth pondering.

In the case of Michael Jackson and the shade thrown at him in his lifetime, I think it was inevitable given the major forces at work during his lifetime. It occurred as the result of a perfect storm.

Let’s explore those times a bit…

Molestation of children wasn’t truly on the public radar until the nineties and after the McMartin case that caused a frenzy from 1987 to 1989 where it was fodder for the tabloid media. The McMartins were not guilty but the government spent $15 million trying to prove them guilty while ruining their lives and damaging countless children. The McMartins owned a family run daycare center. One child, coached by a mentally ill mother said he was inappropriately touched. The case, sensationalized with the help of tabloids, mushroomed into a child molestation ring run from inside the daycare center. All family members were implicated. Authorities knew at the time that the mother was schizophrenic but pursued the case aggressively anyway. It took 10 years to completely clear the charges but by then the stain on the family and the daycare was permanent. Lives were ruined and children suffered terror and nightmares from the investigation.

In the aftermath studies revealed incest to be endemic in rural America. This was about the same time that Satanic Ritual Cults’ alleged abuse of children surfaced and the field of psychology posited that Multiple Personality Disorder came out of perpetual ritual abuse. The Satanic Cult frenzy was a hysterical witch hunt similar to what happened in Salem. False memory syndrome was exposed because therapists interviewing children about sexual abuse were leading with their questions much as police interviews do. The media made spectacle of it all for a decade.Murdoch proud papa of the Sun

The repeated exposure in headline after headline ad nauseam caused monumental public outrage as the culture became sickened by all the sordid stories and hype prolonged by the media which was making huge profits. The media learned that scandal paid off. The tabloids learned that what really paid off was crime and scandal and celebrity in combination.

Around this same time, a jogger was attacked in Central Park in New York and 5 young males of color (4 Black and 1 Hispanic) were accused, tried and convicted of the crime sending outrage toward young men of color through the community and nation which became transfixed on the case. Again, the tabloids cashed in. The youth were not guilty and were exonerated and released from prison but not until more than a decade later. But the fear of black men resurrected from the historical and hysterical fear of black masculinity, stayed anchored in the public memory.

Prolonged stories and long awaited trials that stretch for months and sometimes years where the innocent are guilty in the public eye, can overwhelm those consuming them, causing people to turn away or lose interest. By the time a trial is completed, many will have lost interest or ignore the outcomes and may not know of the not-guilty verdict, or not care about it anymore. Even worse, because of the immediate presumption of guilt cemented by hype and the horrific and sensationalized nature of the alleged crime, the “guilty” verdict remains in the mind. It’s often reinforced by pundits and talking heads who pontificate with presumed guilt. Because of the repetition and reinforcement of the position of trial by public opinion, many will just assume the person guilty no matter the verdict and chalk it up to “money,” “celebrity,” notoriety, or a “good lawyer” who “got them off” because of their wealth or the talents of the defense attorney.

What has come of all this, is that it is impossible, and in some cases illegal, to allow children freedom to play unaccompanied or to interact with adult males unsupervised. Many innocent lives have been ruined by accusations alone because an accusation of harm to a child, particularly sexually, is an immediate public indictment and trial by public opinion where guilt is assumed instantly.

Beat it MJThe public sentiment and protectionism may have gone too far because of the fear and the exposure of a sub-culture of (mostly) men interested in children as sex objects. A kind of hysteria emerged from that period. This explains much of the rush to judgment about Michael Jackson as well as the submerged racism that couldn’t bear (consciously or not) to see a successful and “inferior” black man, especially one that challenged gender stereotypes and confused gender and race in a “macho-man” climate. (“Beat It”)

The nineties were rocky for race relations in the United States.

The famous Rodney King beating by Los Angeles Police becomes front page news and the L.A. riots ensue when the officers are found not guilty, by a city’s African Americans frustrated by racist and profiling cops who are never disciplined for outrageous violations of civil rights. Nobody listens. And when the officers are acquitted, all hell breaks loose in the hood. The riots are the single worst incident of urban unrest in history. Whites are not sympathetic.

Then comes the O.J. Simpson long and drawn-out “trial of the century” televised for all to see. More spectacle. And a wealthy, famous Black man and celebrity beloved by football fans and embraced by the public. People stared in disbelief; they didn’t want a pop culture hero to be guilty. When O.J. was acquitted, African Americans who believed he was set up and framed because it was a customary practice in their neighborhoods, celebrated. Whites, who never experienced life in the hood, were angry.

Michael w girls onstageNow comes the Michael Jackson accusations. They become part of a perfect storm.

Racism is not dead. It is not a post-racial America.Obama Pied Piper w children

The presidency of Barack Obama and the many racist jokes at the expense of the president and his family exposes the racism still bubbling just under the surface. The arguably ugliest one by a teacher who lamented on social media she was tired of seeing “an ape in heals” referencing the first lady who’s been a portrait of style and grace. The “White-lash” that followed Obama’s presidency in the succeeding election underscores that successful or powerful black men are still an angry taboo to much of the old White establishment.

The habit of focusing on shade in social and mainstream media has a consequence. It has made for a hyper-vigilant culture quick to judge and condemn. The fear of African American adult males persists and is evidenced in the militarized and too-quick-to-pull-the-trigger attitudes and actions of police. Not all African American males are violent. Not all police are trigger happy or racist. Not all men are sexually aroused by children. Not all accused of violence are violent. Not all accused are guilty.

Things that may have once been innocent have now become “creepy,” yet some things that should have been unacceptable were overlooked. This is an example of acceptable or overlooked creepiness:

Why was it acceptable enough to be on TV? Why was a White man allowed to behave openly the way a pedophile does? A Black man would not get such a pass. In fact, an African American would not have been a TV host back then. Nor would a woman of any color.

It’s certainly true that there were predators in Hollywood “back in the day” for women actors often speak of the “casting couch” where they earned their roles, not with their acting chops but by alternative means, at the hands of entitled pompous and powerful men. Hollywood was, and still is, male dominated. It’s also true that what was acceptable then may have been innocent– or not. Men of color still seem to be judged by a different standard than white men evidenced by a glance at the Roman Polanski case and Bill Cosby by comparison. The White Academy Awards a year ago are a loud testament to the continued lack of respect for diversity.

Is it all deliberate prejudice? Not likely. Some of it is White privilege, an unawareness of micro-aggressions, while some is embedded and unconscious and some is ignorance, particularly ignorance of history. Prejudice and violence are not inborn, they are inherited or developed over time. What is inborn, science is informing us, is that we are actually hard-wired for compassion. But like a muscle that goes unused, compassion and kindness atrophies without use and strengthening.sign awakening

Without compassion, or an awareness of it, we can become cynical. It’s become evident we are in need of adjusting our psyches. The cynical assignment of predatory instincts, immediate rush to judgment, knee-jerk reactionary responses, racism and pandemic cynicism of our times are damaging to the human psyche and toxic to the soul. A hyper-reactionary public assumes the worst in humanity which appears to be a runaway self-fulfilling prophesy playing itself out in the collective right now even into the Oval Office in America and the politics of Europe.

Tabloid journalism with its’ almost exclusive focus on the dark side of human nature has done us all a grand disservice. Archetypes and self-fulfilling prophesy are very powerful forces. What kind of world might we have inherited today if the media had focused more on the light? Would the light have been more believable and human nature considered more brilliant? One has to wonder…

Humanitarian and Philanthropist

Each hospital in every city of Jackson
[caption id="attachment_10914" align="alignleft" width="308"]Each hospital in every city of Jackson's tour received a piece of equipment. Each hospital in every city of Jackson’s tour received a piece of equipment.[/caption]

Michael Jackson was born an empath. Many of us are. In fact, it is argued by some spiritual teachers, that we all have pan-empathy (empathy for everyone and everything) and telepathy when we are born, but our culture “matures” it out of us. Some cultures like the Indigenous and tribal cultures do not “rationalize” or “correct” or discourage children out of their natural abilities. In the Amazon region, for example, the Medicine Men/Women and Shamans learned about the medicinal properties of plants from the plants themselves.  Indigenous and Native Peoples are often not talked out of their natural ability to communicate with the natural world which they consider a teacher. There are other forms of communication besides vocal and language or writing.

You have retained some of that ability in your intuition and it can be expressed particularly forcefully in the parent-child and twin-twin connections. A sudden feeling of dread or elation (usually accompanied by bodily sensations) is a message from your inner compass or intuition. But much of the ability to “feel into” another being or situation has been deadened by acculturation, especially in the Western World.

There are those infrequent sensitive beings, however, who retain much of their “feeling into” faculties into adulthood. They can be the healers, the poets, artists and dreamers of a society. They are the social activists, leaders and the charismatics who can inspire others to action. Michael Jackson was all of the above. These geniuses, however, are subject to their personalities with introvert or extrovert dominance, insecurities and social awkwardness or failings. With a teacher, guru or master an individual can begin to transcend the personality and the ego to become pure being with a thrust toward enlightenment– the embodiment of the Spiritual Self or a Soul-infused personality. Michael Jackson knew of this unusual path of the seeker and studied with teachers and learned discipline in meditation, Yoga, and prayer. His quest becomes evident to a fellow aspiring adept in his book and his short films (music videos.) Mudras (hand gestures) and spiritual messages are evident in his filmed concerts.

Some artists are extroverts and great orators; others express themselves through their art. Jackson was not an orator and he hated having to talk to large audiences. He also knew the curse of adulthood and its ability to strip a human of his or her innate innocence, charm, wonder and awe and the creative mind; he gravitated to children because they retained the magic of birth, creation and youth. His references to children include accolades to their purity and innocence– in other words, unfettered by the accumulated and internalized insults of adulthood that crush the spirit. Children don’t display the limitations of adults– the doubt, disbelief and cynicism that replace spontaneity, creativity, and uncensored imagination and awe experienced in childhood. The carefree spirit is tamped down in growing up and Jackson was determined to not let that happen. He preferred the company of children because of their energy and spirit, that part that is damaged in maturing to adulthood as the “practical” mind takes over and dreams are adjusted from fantastic to “realistic.”

He didn’t know how to articulate this philosophy about childhood vs. adulthood, his own childhood interrupted, and painfully traded for other things: “Have You Seen My Childhood?” He was also too insulated from reality in the surreal world of the Jacksons, to know that hanging out with children wasn’t just socially awkward, but some would see it as criminal. In his experience, in a two bedroom home the size of a 2 car garage in Gary, Indiana, 7 children and adults piled together on beds in family banter or to watch TV. He never slept in a bed or room alone. Even the living room in their tiny house became a bedroom at night.

The collective adult attitude toward children and the adult-child relationship changed after the McMartin Preschool Case horrified the public and brought to light the incidence of incest in rural America. At that same time, there was a kind of collective hysteria about Satanic Cult activity and repressed (later recovered or resurfaced) memories of children about ritual abuse. The characteristics of “ritual abuse” included repetitive rituals associated with malingering behavior toward children– for sexual or manipulative purposes.

Many “therapists” who assisted with “recovered memories” and “repressed memories” of Satanic Cult activity were later debunked. The McMartin Case horrified the public and was a sweeping hysteria similar to the Salem Witch Trials in the 1690s in Colonial Massachusetts or the “Communist” witch hunts of Joseph McCarthy in the 1950s. The attitude and behavior of adults toward children would forever change after the McMartin case dominated the frenzied media. The McMartin family defendants were all exonerated but it took ten years. Meanwhile, the public was inundated with sickening descriptions of what the adults in a daycare supposedly did to children.

This was the culture Michael Jackson, loved and elevated to cult hero status by kids, some of whom were dealing with their own nightmarish homelife of neglect or abuse– had to navigate in the 1990s. His rise to superstar was paralleled by the Mc Martin drama and aftermath where every breathing adult was under suspicion. Jackson represented hope to kids because of his lyrics, his runaway success and his meteoric rise to superstar. If they could “hang on” to Michael in some way, they could hang on until their eventual emancipation from whatever restricted their freedom.

Michael was raised a strict Jehovah Witness, to respect women, especially his mother. He saw children as the humans closest to God, only recently leaving the Divine realms to incarnate as a human baby. He revered children. For that he was mocked.

His philanthropy speaks for itself:

January 10, 1984: Michael visits the unit for burn victims at Brotman-Memorial Hospital in Los Angeles.


April 9, 1984: David Smithee, a 14-year-old boy who suffers from cystic fibroses is invited to Michael’s home. It was David’s last wish to meet Michael. He dies 7 weeks later.


April 14, 1984: Michael equips a 19-bed-unit at Mount Senai New York Medical Center. This center is part of the T.J. Martell-Foundation for leukemia and cancer research.


July 5, 1984: During the Jackson’s press conference at Tavern On The Green, Michael announces that his part of the earnings from the Victory Tour will be donated to three charitable organizations: The United Negro College Fund, Camp Good Times, and the T.J. Martell-Foundation.


July 14, 1984: After the first concert of the Victory Tour, Michael meets 8 terminally ill children backstage.


December 13, 1984: Michael visits the Brotman Memorial Hospital, where he had been treated when he was burned very badly during the producing of a Pepsi commercial. He donates all the money he receives from Pepsi, $1.5 million, to the Michael Jackson Burn Center for Children.


January 28, 1985: Michael and 44 other artists meet to record “We Are The World”, written by Michael and Lionel Ritchie. The proceeds of this record are donated to the starving people in Africa.


1986: Michael set up the “Michael Jackson UNCF Endowed Scholarship Fund”. This $1.5 million fund is aimed towards students majoring in performance art and communications, with money given each year to students attending a UNCF member college or university.


February 28, 1986: After having had a heart-transplant, 14-year-old Donna Ashlock from California gets a call from Michael Jackson. He had heard that she is a big fan of his. Michael invites her to his home as soon as she is feeling better. This visit takes place on March 8th. Donna stays for dinner and watches a movie together with Michael.


September 13, 1987: Michael supports a campaign against racism. He supports efforts of the NAACP, to fight prejudices against black artists.


October 1987: At the end of his Bad Tour, Michael donates some personal items to the UNESCO for a charitable auction. The proceeds will be for the education of children in developing countries.


February 1, 1988: The Song “Man In the Mirror” enters the charts. The proceeds from the sales of this record goes to Camp Ronald McDonald for Good Times, a camp for children who suffer from cancer.


March 1, 1988: At a press conference held by his sponsor Pepsi, Michael presents a $600,000 check to the United Negro College Fund.


April 1988: Free tickets are given away for three concerts in Atlanta, Georgia to the Make A Wish Foundation.


May 22, 1988: Michael visits children who suffer from cancer in the Bambini-Gesu Children’s Hospital in Rome. He signs autographs and gives away sweets and records to the little patients. He promises a check of 100,000 pounds to the hospital.


July 16, 1988: Before a concert at Wembley Stadium Michael meets the Prince of Wales and his wife Diana. He hands over a check of 150,000 pounds for the Prince’s Trust, and a check of 100,000 pounds for the children’s hospital at Great Ormond Street.


July 20, 1988: Michael visits terminally ill children at Great Ormond Street Hospital. At a unit for less critical patients he stays a little bit longer and tells a story.


August 29, 1988: At his 30th birthday Michael performs a concert in Leeds, England for the English charity-organization “Give For Life”. The goal of this organization is the immunization of children. Michael presents a check for 65,000 pounds.


December 1988: Michael visits 12-year-old David Rothenburg. His father had 5 years earlier burned him very badly in an act of revenge against his former wife.


January 1989: The proceeds of one of Michael’s shows in Los Angeles are donated to Childhelp USA, the biggest charity-organization against child-abuse. In appreciation of the contributions of Michael, Childhelp of Southern California is founding the “Michael Jackson International Institute for Research On Child Abuse”.


January 10, 1989: The Bad Tour comes to an end. Under-privileged children are donated tickets for each concert and Michael donates money to hospitals, orphanages and charity-organizations.


February 7, 1989: Michael visits the Cleveland Elementary School in Stockton, California. Some weeks earlier a 25-year-old man had fired at the school’s playground. 5 children had been killed and 39 had been wounded.


March 5, 1989: Michael invites 200 deprived children of the St. Vincent Institute for handicapped children and of the organization Big Brothers and Big Sisters to the Circus Vargas in Santa Barbara. After this event he invites them to his ranch to introduce his private zoo at his Neverland Ranch to them.


November 13, 1989: The organization “Wishes Granted” helps 4-year-old Darian Pagan, who suffers from leukemia to meet Michael. Michael invites the little boy to a performance of Canadian acrobats.


December 28, 1989: Young Ryan White, who suffers from hemophilia, spends his holidays on Michael’s ranch. Ryan had been infected with AIDS by contaminated blood transfusions in 1984. After he was excluded from his school in Kokomo, Ryan fought against the discrimination of AIDS victims.


January 6, 1990: Michael invites 82 abused and neglected children through Childhelp to his Neverland Ranch. There are games, a Barbeque and a movie show provided for them.


July 1990: 45 children from the Project Dream Street, Los Angeles, for children with life-threatening illness are invited to Neverland Valley.


August 18, 1990: Michael invites 130 children of the YMCA summer program of Los Angeles and Santa Barbara to his Neverland Ranch.


May 6, 1991: Michael is invited to the Jane Goodall Charity event. Michael supports her, an advocate of behavioral research concerning chimpanzees in Gombe, Nigeria for more than 30 years.


July 26, 1991: Michael pays a visit to the Youth Sports & Art Foundation in Los Angeles. This Foundation supports families of gang members, and helps dealing with drug-abuse. Michael talks to the kids and presents them with a wide-screen TV set and a financial gift.


December 1991: Michael’s office MJJ Productions treats needy families in Los Angeles with more than 200 turkey dinners.


February 1992: Within 11 days Michael covers 30,000 miles in Africa, to visit hospitals, orphanages, schools, churches, and institutions for mentally handicapped children.


February 3, 1992: At a press conference at the New York Radio City Music Hall, Michael announces that he is planning a new world tour, to raise funds for his new “Heal The World” Foundation. This Foundation will support the fight against AIDS, Juvenile Diabetes and will support the Camp Ronald McDonald and the Make A Wish Foundation.


May 6, 1992: Michael defrays the funeral-expenses for Ramon Sanchez, who was killed during the Los Angeles riots.


June 23, 1992: At a press conference in London, Michael makes an announcement about his Heal The World Foundation.


June 26, 1992: Michael presents the Mayor of Munich, Mr. Kronawitter, with a 40,000 DM-check for the needy people of the city.


June 29, 1992: Michael visits the Sophia Children’s Hospital in Rotterdam and presents a check for 100,000 pounds.


July 1992: Michael donated L. 821,477,296 to La Partita del Cuore (The Heart Match) in Rome and donated 120,000 DM to children’s charities in Estonia and Latvia.


July 25, 1992: On the occasion of a concert in Dublin, Ireland, Michael announces that he will give 400,000 pounds of the tour earnings to various charities.


July 29, 1992: Michael visits the Queen Elizabeth Children’s Hospital in London. To the surprise the children, he brings Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse from Euro-Disney to the hospital.


July 31, 1992: On the Eve of his second concert at Wembley Stadium, Michael presents Prince Charles with a check of 200,000 pounds for the Prince’s Trust.


August 16, 1992: 6 year old Nicholas Killen, who lost his eyesight caused by a life aiding cancer surgery, meets Michael backstage in Leeds, England.


September 1992: Michael donated 1 million pesetas to charity headed by the Queen of Spain.


September 30, 1992: President Iliescu of Romania inaugurates a playground for 500 orphans which Michael has financed. Michael discusses his Heal The World Foundation.


October 1, 1992: Michael chooses a concert in Bucharest, Romania for worldwide television broadcast. Bucharest is a logical choice due to the numerous orphanages the country is known for.


November 24, 1992: At Kennedy Airport in New York, Michael supervises the loading of 43 tons of medication, blankets, and winter clothes destined for Sarajevo. The Heal The World Foundation collaborates with AmeriCares to bring resources totaling $2.1 million to Sarajevo. They will be allocated under the supervision of the United Nations.


December 10, 1992: During a press conference at the American Ambassy in Tokyo Michael is presented with a check for $100,000 for the Heal The World Foundation by Tour Sponsor Pepsi.


December 26, 1992: During a broadcast request for donations to the United Negro College Fund, Michael declares: “Black Colleges and Universities are breeding some of the leading personalities of our time. They are on top in business, justice, science and technologies, politics and religion. I am proud, that the Michael Jackson Scholarship Program enabled more than 200 young men and women to get a qualified education.”


January 19, 1993: Michael is one of the stars to perform at the Presidential Inauguration of Bill Clinton. Before he sings “Gone Too Soon” he draws the attention to the plights of the victims of AIDS and mentions his friend Ryan White.


January 26, 1993: At a press conference held at Century Plaza Hotel in Century City, Los Angeles, Michael is presented with a $200,000 donation from the National Football League and the Sponsors of the Super Bowl. He gets another $500,000 from the BEST Foundation for his Heal The World Foundation. At this occasion the foundation of “Heal L.A.” is officially announced.


February 1993: In association with Sega, launched an initiative to distribute more than $108,000 of computer games and equipment to children’s hospitals, children’s homes, and children’s charities throughout the U.K.


March 1993: The foundation of an independent film company is announced. They will produce family-oriented movies. A part of the earnings will go to the Heal The World Foundation.


March 27, 1993: At a meeting at Century Plaza Hotel in Los Angeles, Michael gives a 5-minute speech to 1200 teachers and politicians.


April 26, 1993: Within his “Heal LA” tour, Michael visits the Watta Health Foundation, and two schools in Los Angeles South Central.


May 5, 1993: Former President Jimmy Carter and Michael, who are chairmen of the “Heal Our Children/Heal The World” initiative, are in Atlanta to promote their “Atlanta Project Immunization Drive”.


June 1993: Michael has announced that he will donate $1.25 million for children who have suffered from the riots in Los Angeles.


June 1993: 100 children from the Challengers Boys and Girls Club visit Neverland.


June 10, 1993: Michael promotes the new DARE-program. The purpose of the program is to inform children about the dangers of drug abuse.


June 18, 1993: Michael pays a visit to a hospital in Washington. He spends several hours with the young patients and plays chess with some of them.


August 1993: With Pepsi-Cola Thailand, donated $40,000 to Crown Princess Maha Chakri Sirindhorn’s charity, the Rural School Children and Youth Development Fund, in support of school lunch programs in rural villages in Thailand.


August 1993: In conjunction with Pepsi-Cola International, donated new ambulances to the Contacts One Independent Living Center for Children in Moscow, Russia and the Hospital de Ninos Dr. Ricardo Gutierrez in Buenos Aires, Argentina.


October 1993: Donated $100,000 to the Children’s Defense Fund, the Children’s Diabetes Foundation, the Atlanta Project, and the Boys and Girl Clubs of Newark, New Jersey.


October 22, 1993: Michael visits a hospital in Santiago.


October 28, 1993: Michael makes it possible for 5000 underprivileged children to visit the Reino Aventura Park, where the whale Keiko (”Free Willy”) is living.


November 5, 1993: Michael is guest at a children’s party at the Hard Rock Cafe in Mexico City.


December 1993: With the Gorbachev Foundation, airlifted 60,000 doses of children’s vaccines to Tblisi, Georgia.


December 16, 1993: The Heal The World Foundation UK supports “Operation Christmas Child” delivering toys, sweets, gifts and food to children in former Yugoslavia.


1994: Michael donates $500,000 to Elizabeth Taylor’s AIDS Foundation.


January 7, 1994: On the weekend of Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday, Michael gives a party for more than 100 underprivileged children at his Neverland Ranch.


February 22, 1994: “The Jackson Family Honors” is televised. The earnings of the show are given to their own newly formed charity, “Family Caring for Families”.


August 6, 1994: Michael and his wife Lisa Marie are visiting two children’s hospitals in Budapest. They distribute toys to the ill children.


1995: Michael wants to free dolphins who have been locked up for years. He believes there should be legal guidelines about the way dolphins have to live in zoos and parks.


March 1995: Little Bela Farkas received a new liver. Michael and Lisa Marie met this 4-year-old boy during their trip to Hungary in 1994. Michael did everything to help Bela, whose only chance to live was getting a new liver. The Heal The World Foundation covered the surgery and the cost for caring.


June 21, 1996: Michael donated a four-times platinum disc of “HIStory” in aid of the Dunblane appeal at the Royal Oak Hotel, Sevenoaks in England.


July 18, 1996: In Soweto, South Africa Michael is laying down a wreath of flowers for youngsters who have been killed during the fights involving Apartheid.


September 1996: The first Sports Festival “Hope” was held for orphans and disadvantaged children. 3000 children and 600 volunteers took part in the Sports Festival and Michael Jackson was a special guest.


September 6, 1996: Michael visits the children’s unit of a hospital in Prague.


October 1996: Michael visited a hospital for mentally challenged children in Kaoshiung, Taiwan and offered 2,000 free tickets to the sold out performance in Kaoshiung.


October 1, 1996: Michael donated the proceeds of his Tunisia concert to “The National Solidarity Fund”, a charity dedicated to fighting poverty.


October 3, 1996: Michael visits a children’s hospital and brings small gifts for the patients during a HIStory tour visit in Amsterdam. A room in the hospital (for parents who want to be with their children) is named after Michael.


November 1, 1996: Michael donates most of the earnings from a HIStory concert in Bombay, India to the poor people of the country.


November 7, 1996: Before his first concert in Auckland, New Zealand, Michael fulfills the wish of little Emely Smith, who is suffering from cancer, who wants to meet Michael.


November 25, 1996: Michael visited the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne, delivering toys, signing autographs, and visiting with children.


December 9, 1996: During a HIStory tour visit in Manila, Michael visits a children’s hospital. He announces that a part of his concert earnings will be donated to the renovation of the hospital.


January 25, 1997: Michael waved his personal fee for his Bombay appearance and donated $1.1 million to a local charity helping to educate children living in slums.


April 4, 1997: British magazine “OK!” is publishing exclusive photos of Michael’s son Prince. The magazine pays about 1 million pounds for the photos. Michael donates the money to charity.


June 18, 1997: Michael signed the “Children in Need” book auctioned by the charity UNESCO.


September 1998: Michael meets 5 year old Aza Woods, who suffers from cancer, at the Hilton Hotel in Las Vegas. Michael introduces Aza to the attraction “Star Trek: The Experience” and spends the rest of the afternoon with the little boy. Finally Michael invites Aza to spend some time with him at his Neverland Ranch.


November 16, 1998: Michael arrives in Harare, Zimbabwe. He is a member of the American Delegation invited by the Minister of Defense. The delegation thanks the government of Zimbabwe for helping to keep the peace in this area.


September 4, 1999: Michael presented Nelson Mandela with a check for 1,000,000 South African rand for the “Nelson Mandela Children’s Fund.”


January 22, 2000: During Christmas last year a violent storm ravaged the park of the Chateau de Versailles and destroyed 10,000 trees in the park. The estimated cost for rebuilding the park is around $20 million. Some celebrities are supporting the restoration of the park. French officials are reporting that Michael Jackson is one of them. He was one of the first people to donate money to this cause.


October 28, 2000:Michael painted a plate to be auctioned for the “Carousel of Hope Ball” benefiting childhood diabetes research.


March 6, 2001: Michael donated a black hat, a birthday phone-call and a jacket worn at the Monaco Music Awards in 2000 to the Movie Action for Children auction, an event being given by UNICEF with all proceeds will going to UNICEF’s efforts to prevent mother-to-child HIV transmission in Africa.


March 26, 2001: Michael handed out books to young people at a Newark, NJ theater. The event, which helped to launch the Michael Jackson International Book Club, part of his new Heal the Kids charity, aims to promote childhood reading and encourage parents to return to reading bedtime stories.


September 15, 2002: Michael donated 16 exclusively autographed items consisting of CD’s, videos and 2 cotton napkins to aid in the support of the victims of a severe flood in Germany. These items were auctioned off for charity and managed to raise 3935 Euro (US$ 3,814).


October 12, 2002: Michael Jackson invited more than 200 Team Vandenberg members, who recently returned from overseas deployments, and their families to his Neverland Ranch. This was to show his appreciation for the sacrifices the military in his community make.


November 19-29, 2002: Michael donated an autographed teddy bear dressed in his likeness to Siegfried & Roy’s celebrity teddy bear auction. This auction benefits Opportunity Village which is a non-profit organization based in Las Vegas (USA) that enhances the lives of individuals with intellectual disabilities and their families. Michael’s autographed teddy bear raised $5,000 for the charity.


November 21, 2002: Michael donated a jacket to the The Bambi Charity Event in Berlin which raised $16,000.


April 25, 2002: Michael Jackson performed at a fundraiser for the Democratic National Committee at the Apollo Theater in Harlem helping to raise nearly $3 million dollars towards voter registration.


June 2003: The Wolf family, who experienced serious damages to their belongings during the flood in Saxony, Germany last August, was invited to Berlin by Michael Jackson when he was at the Bambi Awards. On that occasion Michael invited them to Neverland. In June, they spent three days at Neverland, meeting Michael and his children.


Charity Awards


May 14, 1984: At a ceremony in the White House President Reagan presents Michael an award for special efforts; he is honored for his participation in a national ad campaign against drunk driving.


January 1989: The “Say Yes To A Youngsters Future” program honors Michael in recognition of his efforts to encourage children to natural sciences and award him with the “National Urban Coalition Artist/Humanitarian Of The Year Award”.


March 1989: At the Universal Amphitheater in Universal City, California, Michael receives the Black Radio Special Award for his humanitarian efforts.


September 22, 1989: The Capital Children’s Museum awards Michael with the Best Of Washington 1989 Humanitarian Award in recognition of his efforts to raise money for the museum, and for his never-ending support of children.


February 3, 1990: From Japan Michael receives a Role Model Award.


April 5, 1990: During a ceremony, where Michael is awarded as “Entertainer Of The Decade”, Michael meets President George Bush, who honors him with the “Point Of Light” award. Michael receives this award for his philanthropic activities. President Bush explains Michael’s humanitarian commitments to the press.


September 14, 1990: The Council of the American Scouts honors Michael with the first “Good Scout Humanitarian Award”. Michael receives this award for his humanitarian activities by supporting the Make A Wish Foundation, the Prince’s Trust, the United Negro College Fund and Childhelp USA.


October 23, 1990: Michael Jackson and Elton John will be the first recipients of the award in memory of Ryan White, which will be handed over in 1991.


May 1, 1992: President George Bush presents Michael with the “Point of Light” award for his continuing support of deprived children. During his stay, Michael visits little Raynal Pope, who had been injured very badly by dogs.


June 3, 1992: The organization “One To One”, who is caring for better living conditions of young people, honors Michael with an award for his commitment to deprived youngsters.


July 1993: The American Friends of Hebrew University honors Michael with the Scopus Award 1993.


August 1993: The Jack The Rapper Awards are presented and Michael is honored with the “Our Children, Our Hope Of Tomorrow” award.


November 17, 1993: Michael rejects the Scopus Award. He was nominated for this award, which was planned to be given him on January 29th, 1994.


April 12, 1994: On occasion of the 2nd Children’s Choice Award ceremony at Cit Center in New York, Michael is presented with the “Caring For Kids” award. This award is to honor celebrities, who take time for young people. 100,000 children and young people from 8 to 18 years old gave Michael their vote of confidence. The Children’s Choice Awards are sponsored by Body Sculpt, a charity organization, that offers drug-prevention programs for young people.


November 2, 1995: Michael receives the award “Diamont of Africa”.


March, 30, 1996: The Ark Trust-Foundation, who wants to draw the attention of the public eye on animal’s problems, presents the 10th Genesis Award. Michael is presented with the 1995 Doris Day Award. He gets this award for the “Earth Song” video, which draws attention to the plight of the animals.


May 1, 1999: At the Bollywood awards in New York, Michael is presented with an award for his humanitarian activities. The award is signed: “Though he comes from the young American tradition, Michael is the embodiment of an old indian soul. His actions are an expression of the philosophy of Weda, which asked to work for the people – not for one’s own interests.”




The Millennium-Issue of the “Guinness Book Of Records” names Michael as the Pop Star who supports the most charity organizations. The following projects are supported by Michael Jackson:


AIDS Project L.A.

American Cancer Society

Angel Food

Big Brothers of Greater Los Angeles

BMI Foundation

Brotherhood Crusade

Brothman Burn Center

Camp Ronald McDonald

Childhelp U.S.A.

Children’s Institute International

Cities and Schools Scholarship Fund

Community Youth Sports & Arts Foundation

Congressional Black Caucus

Dakar Foundation

Dreamstreet Kids

Dreams Come True Charity

Elizabeth Taylor Aids Foundation

Heal The World Foundation

Juvenile Diabetes Foundation

Love Match

Make A Wish Foundation

Minority Aids Project

Motown Museum


National Rainbow Coalition

Rotary Club of Australia

Society of Singers

Starlight Foundation

The Carter Center’s Atlanta Project

The Sickle Cell Research Foundation


United Negro College Fund

United Negro College Fund Ladder’s of Hope

Volunteers of America

Watts Summer Festival

Wish Granting

YMCA – 28th Street/Crenshaw

Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America


This is the oldest mentoring organization serving youth in the USA.

BBBSA has provided one-to-one mentoring relationships between adult volunteers and children at risk since 1904. BBBSA currently serves over 100,000 children and youth in more than 500 agencies throughout all of the United States.


BMI Foundation


From jazz to musical theater, from music education for gifted youngsters to support for the work of accomplished concert music composers, the BMI Foundation seeks out the best and most promising of today’s and tomorrow’s musical creators and offers a platform of support that fosters their growth and ensures the continuation of the heritage of American musical ingenuity for generations to come.


Childhelp USA


Childhelp USA is dedicated to meeting the physical, emotional, educational, und spiritual needs of abused and neglected children focusing efforts and resources upon treatment, prevention.


Children’s Institute International


This is a private, non-profit organization specializing in the treatment and prevention of child abuse and neglect.

Over the past 90 years, CII has evolved from a shelter for single mothers and their babies to an internationally recognized model of comprehensive care and assistance for at-risk children and their families.

CII assistance includes child and family assessment supported by 24-hour emergency residential shelter care, family treatment services, therapeutic day care, child health clinic, long-term foster family care, and substance abuse treatment and prevention services.


Make A Wish Foundation fulfills the favorite wish of any child between the age of 2 ½ and 18 who has a diagnosed life-threatening illness.


Camp Ronald McDonald

Camp for children with cancer.


With 750+ Million Records Sold

Michael Jackson Has Given More Than

$300+ Million to Charities!

Raven Woods Huffington Post Article Answer to Radar Online Sham about Michael Jackson’s Child Porn



This is old news from a decade ago, and there is absolutely nothing in those reports that hasn’t already had its day in court.


By Raven Woods, author, educator pop culture journalist and author of All For Love Blog.



Last week, as the world geared up to remember Michael Jackson on his seventh death anniversary, a deluge of negative publicity hit regarding allegations of “disturbing” child porn that was supposedly uncovered during the 2003 raid of Neverland, conducted prior to Jackson’s 2004 indictment on charges of molesting a minor. The highly publicized trial in 2005 resulted in Jackson’s acquittal on all fourteen counts. The problem is that the police documents in question and the list of items seized from Neverland are not “new” or “recently unearthed” documents, as some media outlets have mistakenly claimed in an effort to bolster salacious headlines.

These were all items that were entered in court back in 2005 ― items that were well known to both the prosecution and defense and were presented before both Judge Melville and the jury. None of the items seized from Neverland fit the legal definition of child pornography, and in fact many of the items that are currently creating the most media hysteria were not pornographic at all. They were legal art books; a few of them containing some examples of adult erotica, but again, these were not titles that could be in any way deemed as pornographic or even obscene. This isn’t to say that Jackson didn’t own any pornography at all. The truth was that a sizable amount of adult heterosexual pornography had been confiscated in the raid, but Jackson was a grown man and this type of pornography is not illegal to own. In the absence of any hardcore “smoking gun” evidence against Jackson, the prosecution tried desperately to make a case for several legal art books which Jackson owned as part of an extensive library, one that contained over ten thousand titles on art and photography (subjects that were of interest to him as inspiration for his own lyrics and films). These art books, as they were written up and described in the original police reports, were clearly stated as not being pornographic in nature but as items that could “possibly” be used as part of a “grooming” process (however, it is important to note that this was not a claim the prosecution was able to successfully prove in court). Secondly, it has been confirmed via a statement issued by the Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department that several pages of the document ― which originated with the publication Radar Online-appeared to have been falsified, with images that were never part of the original documents, claiming those images “appeared to have been taken from internet sources.” Since this story spread like proverbial wildfire through the tabloid media ― and even to legit mainstream media who apparently never bothered to fact check either the origin or contents of these documents ― we really must pause to consider how the media operates in spreading such hoax stories on celebrities. We also must ask some hard questions about why better laws are not in place to protect deceased persons-famous or not-from this kind of libel.


Court Document Showing The Admittance Of Jackson’s Art Books And Adult Erotica-Proof That All Of The Items Listed In The Report Had Their Day In Court. 

But first, let’s start by busting some of the distorted myths and outright lies that are circulating currently. I have been a dedicated Michael Jackson researcher for seven years. I have thoroughly studied the ins and outs of the 2005 case brought against him as well as the 1993 Jordan Chandler settlement.

The first thing we must address is that the information and descriptions in these reports are NOT new or “recently unearthed” reports ― this is all information that both the prosecution and defense were well aware of in 2004 when the indictment and grand jury process began. In fact, a lot of the current information being touted now was leaked then and circulated in the press after the grand jury hearings, prompting a statement to the media from Jackson’s attorney, which was signed off not only by Mesereau but also the prosecution and Judge Melville, fully acknowledging that no child pornography had been found. This was followed up by an official statement from Jackson himself, in which he specifically addressed the information that had been leaked to the media from the grand jury proceedings. It is worth keeping in mind that the grand jury hearings are a process in which the prosecution is able to present their case in its entirety without the benefit of cross examination, and includes the process of discovery whereby all potential evidentiary items are presented and discussed.


Both Thomas Mesereau’s sworn statement and Jackson’s 2004 press statement were in reaction to items leaked to the media from the grand jury hearings, in which the prosecution enters all confiscated and potentially evidentiary items. These “items” included the same art books that have become the source of the current media frenzy. 

Eventually, many of these books were discarded as inadmissible evidence because they were commercially available art books that anyone can purchase legally. Of the titles that were entered as admissible evidence, it was not because they were pornographic but, rather, because the prosecution felt that they might potentially bolster an argument that Jackson “could have” used the books as grooming material and in an attempt to prove some sort of predilection on Jackson’s part for males (since a few of the titles featured artsy photographs of nude males; however, these were generally titles that featured adult erotica of both sexes). The “sadomasochism” books were adult books featuring adult subjects ( Madonna’s “Sex,” for example, was a book that he was known to have shopped for in the early 1990s) and because none of these materials fit the legal definition of child pornography. This left the prosecution in the rather embarrassing situation of having to build a case on Jackson’s adult legal porn collection, which was-let’s just say-healthy, but not that unusual for a single guy. Let’s remember, these people invaded his private quarters, after all. The full list of Jackson’s adult porn that was confiscated in the Neverland raid has been widely available for many years, and consisted of over 1800 images of nude adult women. You can find the full list here. But essentially, this left the prosecution in the rather embarrassing position of trying to build a case of child molestation against a man for whom the only “evidence” they had was issues of HustlerPlayboyPenthouseBarely Legal, and the like ― along with, well, a lot  of art books. The thing you have to keep in mind is that the prosecution never had one shred of what we might call “smoking gun” evidence ― the kind that usually leads to an easy, “case closed” conviction in cases like this. There were no explicit love letters written to any child, no photos of himself or children engaged in sexual acts, no video tapes of himself with children in lewd acts, no taped phone conversations, no online “sex chats” ― in other words, none of the things that can usually lead to an easy conviction in such cases. You have to remember that Jackson was under constant FBI surveillance for over ten years. The reports eventually concluded nothing to be found. A search of over sixteen computer hard drives seized in the 2003 raid revealed nothing except that he occasionally visited a few adult legal porn sites where he liked to log in as “Dr. Black” and “Marcel Jackson.” Juicy gossip fodder, yes. Illegal; no.

In the lack of any such hard evidence, the case essentially boiled down to accuser Gavin Arvizo’s word against Jackson’s. From that point forward, the only hope that district attorneys Tom Sneddon and Ron Zonen had was to construct their prosecution as a character assassination. In their desperate attempt to make “evidence” out of no evidence, the art books were argued (unsuccessfully) as books that “could” fit the definition of what a casebook pedophile would own, and the legal porn was argued to be “grooming material” (an argument that likewise did not persuade the jury, especially after Star Arvizo, brother of Gavin Arvizo, admitted under cross examination that a magazine he had earlier claimed to have been shown by Jackson was an issue that, in fact, wasn’t even published until five months after the date of the alleged incident!).

The problem is that, in the absence of any truly hardcore evidence, it becomes increasingly difficult to try to convince a jury of what someone’s “intentions” are with a particular photo or art book. You can’t second guess what is in someone’s head, or if they are using certain materials ― legal or otherwise ― for sexual gratification. That is getting into the realm of “reasonable doubt” and is not something that can be proven. The only thing a judge and jury can do is to look at a certain piece of exhibited evidence and ask: Is this pornography or is it not? And if it is pornographic, is it legal? Keep in mind that anything that isn’t, strictly speaking, child pornography cannot be held as admissible evidence because it is not criminal ― at least certainly not in the United States ― to own art books or adult legal sex books, no matter how “graphic” the imagery (much of which, also, is being grossly exaggerated in the media reports, but one thing at a time).

The original Radar Online story that ran on June 20th did, in fact, acknowledge that these reports were from 2003 and are not new information, but they slanted their story in such a way that made it seem as though this was somehow “newly leaked” information or as if this was “newly discovered” evidence that somehow ― for whatever unearthly reason ― was never brought to light during the trial. This is simply not true, as all official court documents related to the 2005 case clearly show that these items were well known to both the prosecution and defense. Many of these items were discussed and exhibited before the jury in what came to be known as the infamous “Porn Day” at trial (a day for which Jackson’s very religious mother Katherine chose to sit out). What was left out was simply because it was deemed not pornographic in nature and therefore, inadmissible evidence. Let’s not forget, Michael Jackson was subjected to one of the most overzealous cases of prosecution that an individual could be put through. He had a district attorney who had made it his personal life’s ambition to put him behind bars ― or drive him permanently from Santa Barbara County, which he eventually succeeded in doing. This was a prosecution effort that combed the globe in search of “victims,” evidence, and any witnesses willing to come forth, regardless of credibility, and that spent millions in taxpayer dollars in the process. Granted, Sneddon and Zonen may have had their moments of ineptitude, but one thing they could never be accused of was being unthorough or of committing a half-assed investigation that would have left evidence of actual child pornography overlooked. Indeed, nothing in these reports was overlooked, nor was it withheld. It simply wasn’t child pornography, then or now.

This is an important fact to establish because I think the impression many are getting, from the slanted media reports, is that these items being discussed are some “shocking new bombshell” revelation that has just come to light. That simply isn’t true. This is all old news from a decade ago, and there is absolutely nothing in those reports that hasn’t already had its day in court ― that is, of the items that even made it past the discovery stage. The media is trying to slant the story that way because it makes for more salacious headlines and click bait, but if you read the fine print, most have to own up at some point that these are, in fact, old documents dating to 2003 when the discovery process for the trial was underway. So, nothing new here and nothing that the attorneys, as well as the judge and jury, were not well aware of when Jackson was tried and acquitted in 2005. So the salacious and “creepy kiddy porn” of Michael Jackson’s that is currently being touted all over the media actually consists of nothing more than a few art photography books (all of which can be legally purchased through Amazon). Some of them do fall into the category of adult erotica; however, they are not pornographic and certainly not illegal for an adult to own. They include titles by award winning photographers and authors like Anne Rice, who even wrote the introduction for one of the books (Underworld) that is currently the subject of much of the media fodder.

So the next question…why now? Well, that goes back to the close ties between Radar Online (formerly headed up by The National Enquirer’s Dylan Howard) and the attorneys of Wade Robson and Jimmy Safechuck, as well as a certain traitorous “friend” to the Jackson family, Stacy Brown, who has made a career off of peddling smut to the tabloids. Robson and Safechuck both have civil cases pending against the Michael Jackson estate, and Radar Online has become their ally and willing mouthpiece. We know from the statement released by the Santa Barbara Sheriff’s Department that the documents Radar Online obtained did not come from an official source. Here is the statement as it was released to Vanity Fair and reported in various news outlets, yet everyone who reported on this story seemed to ignore what was most damning in this statement:

Some of the documents appear to be copies of reports that were authored by Sheriff’s Office personnel as well as evidentiary photographs taken by Sheriff’s Office personnel interspersed with content that appears to be obtained off the Internet or through unknown sources. The Sheriff’s Office did not release any of the documents and/or photographs to the media. The Sheriff’s Office released all of its reports and the photographs as part of the required discovery process to the prosecution and the defense.

Many of the media outlets who copied the original story have now updated their information to include this statement. That is at least a step in the right direction, I suppose, but still doesn’t take into account their apparent willingness to run a story that has been blatantly identified by the very authorities who investigated the case as false information.

Let’s look again at that official statement released by the Santa Barbara Sheriff’s Department with the most crucial passages emphasized:

interspersed with content that appears to be obtained off the Internet or through unknown sources

The Sheriff’s Office released all of its reports and the photographs as part of the required discovery process to the prosecution and the defense

The statement also makes it clear that someone other than an official source is responsible for feeding this information to Radar Online ― someone (or someones) who timed this malicious smear campaign just in time to coincide with the remembrances and celebrations of Jackson’s death anniversary ― a time when the emotions of his family, friends, and fans are most vulnerable.

Most damaging to the hoax perpetrators has been the statement issued from Ron Zonen himself, one of the prosecuting attorneys who certainly would have moved heaven and earth to have the “evidence” against Michael Jackson he so desperately craved. Yet even Zonen released an official statement citing the lack of child pornography found in the investigation. As y People:


“People” Magazine

Prosecuting attorney Ron Zonen’s statement to “People Magazine” that no child pornography was found in Jackson’s possession. 

Let’s go back to the most important statements given in Zonen’s statement:

“There was no child pornography. There were no videos involving children.”

So what, then, is all the hoopla about? You might be shocked and surprised to know! If one truly examines and dissects the materials and images being discussed, it turns out that not only are all of them from legal sources (art books and such) but that most of the more erotic images are of adults! So…what’s the deal here? It actually seems that a huge media storm is being created over Michael Jackson’s tastes in art and adult erotica. Like I said before: Gossip fodder? Yes, maybe. Evidence of criminal behavior? No.

And Radar Online (or maybe we should say whoever was responsible for “leaking” those documents to them) also purposely tampered with many of those images to make them “appear” more explicit than they actually are, as per this example. On the right is the image as Radar online posted it. On the left is the original image from the book Bidgood by James Bidgood, which is a legal book of adult male photography. On the left is the original image in Bidgood’s book. On the right is the image as it was then “doctored” in the falsified documents. As you can see, Radar Online (or someone) purposely blocked out the crotches so as to make it appear as if the young men in Bidgood’s photo were naked, when in fact they were actually clothed in shorts. But it gets even better!


James Bidgood

One of the many ‘doctored” images Radar Online ran in their original 88 page Jackson report before deleting them. 

A few days later, Canadian artist Jonathan Hobin, author of In The Playroom, spoke out to both the Canadian Press and social media about how his work had been similarly used by Radar Online to help falsify the Jackson documents. Hobin’s “American Idol” photo, featured as part of his In The Playroom collection, was a photo featuring a JonBenet Ramsey lookalike dressed in beauty pageant regalia with a noose tied around her neck.


Jonathan Hobin

This photo, “American Idol,” featured as part of Jonathan Hobin’s In The Playroom collection, was one of the mistakenly identified photos for which the media had a field day touting as an example of Jackson’s “disturbing photos featuring child torture”-until it was revealed that Hobin’s book had not even been published in 2003

It was a photo that Radar Online ― as well as every other media outlet who picked up the story ― had a virtual field day with as “evidence” of Jackson’s “stockpile of “creepy” and “gory kiddie porn pictures featuring torture of children.” As it turned out, there were three major problems with this screaming headline: 1. The image is part of a legit art collection ― one that has been featured in many of the same media outlets that are now mocking Jackson, including The Huffington Post who ran a very positive feature on Hobbin’s work in 2013.

But it gets even better (or worse, depending on whether you are a “glass is half-full or half-empty” kind of person). 2: In The Playroom was a book published in 2008, which means even if it is legitimate art (and it is!) it is not a book that Jackson could have possibly owned in 2003 at the time Neverland was raided. Which leads us to 3: This image, then, was never part of the original 2003 police reports, and the fact that it was at first included within the original 88-page document released by Radar Online is evidence of the kind of tampering that the Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department was referring to.

But the forgery doesn’t end there. The original police reports contained no images at all but only verbal descriptions of the books’ contents.

This means that those images placed into the original 88-page report that Radar Online ran were either planted there by Radar Online or by the persons who submitted those documents. It appears that many of the images inserted, like Hobin’s photo among others, were not even from the titles being claimed in the report but, rather, from related titles of books Jackson did not even own. This would indicate that whoever submitted those reports conducted a sloppy Google search to acquire those images, without bothering to check if the images legitimately came from the titles in question. For example, it has since come to light that several of the more graphic photos that Radar Online claimed to have come from The Fourth Sex: Adolescent Extremes (an art book Jackson did own) were, in fact, from a list of favorite books by art photographer and “Dazed” editor Isabella Burley, who included the book on a list of her five favorite books (the images, it turns out, were taken from those other titles on her list, none of which were books that Jackson owned). You can read more about how that forgery was framed here. This would indicate that  whoever was responsible for “leaking” these decade old documents to Radar Online not only were aware that no such images existed in the original documents but that, also, they were either extremely inept with use of the Google search engine or else were on a deliberate and malicious campaign to falsify those documents with purposely chosen salacious images that would then appear even more salacious when taken out of context.

Interestingly, the persons responsible for this “leak” left an intriguing clue to their identity, which many sharp-eyed Jackson fans were quick to note: Cryptic notes left on Page 25 (which also were not part of the original police report documents) stating that “Zonen is retired and will talk” and listing a current phone number for Gordon Auchincloss (Ron Zonen and Gordon Auchincloss were both prosecuting attorneys for the 2005 Jackson case). These are current notes that have obviously been recently added (Zonen is retired now, but obviously was not back in 2003-04 when these documents were first drawn up). For many Jackson fans, this lends credibility to the idea that this latest smear campaign must have originated with the attorneys of Wade Robson and Jimmy Safechuck, two young men who both have civil cases pending against the Michael Jackson estate.


Handwritten notes like these-which were not included in the original police report-may provide a clue as to who leaked the forged documents to Radar Online, and why. 

It is also worth noting that as soon as Jonathan Hobin spoke out to the media, Radar Online’s original 88-page report shrunk by twenty-seven pages to a mere 61-page-report! Clearly, haste was made to scrub the documents clean of those faked photos. And it was only within days of the mysterious vanishing act of those twenty-seven missing pages that a new “distraction” story was planted by long time Jackson family “frenemy” Stacy Brown regarding false and slanderous allegations about Jackson’s nephews. That was an allegation first raised by the prosecution when some “questionable” photos were seized of Jackson and three of his nephews ― Taj, Terryl, and TJ Jackson of the pop group 3T.


However, as it turned out, those “photos” in question were actually part of a professional album shoot for 3T’s debut album, Brotherhood, an album Michael Jackson produced. More specifically, as stated, the photos in question were part of the photo shoot for the single “Why” which featured Michael Jackson in a “guest vocalist” capacity. This was a professional photo shoot that was conducted by celebrity photographer Jonathan Exley, and according to Jackson’s makeup artist Karen Faye, who was present for the shoot, was carried out in the full company of hundreds of witnesses who were also present for the shoot. The photos in question are sexy, and undeniably, the intent was to play up the “beefcake” appeal to the group’s mostly young female fanbase. In any case, the concept for the album photo shoot was not Jackson’s. And the fact that the prosecution tried so desperately to even construe an album photo shoot as “evidence” against Jackson should tell you something. It also should tell you a lot about what is happening now, with many of these same items that were so obviously twisted out of context a decade ago now being recycled to provide fresh media fodder.


Jonathan Exley

The “Why” Photo Shoot By Jonathan Exley Was Obviously Intended To Play Up The Group’s Beefcake Appeal To Their Female Fanbase


Jonathan Exley

This Was The Photo That Initially Raised A Red Flag For The Prosecution — But As It Turned Out, It Was Nothing But Another Still From The “Why” Album Photo Shoot. 

This was not the only incident in which the prosecution had attempted to misconstrue and misappropriate elements of Jackson’s art as “evidence.” On page 73 of the original Radar Online documents, a Polaroid photo depicting two boys from a Hollywood movie set is described as having the inscription “Are You Scared Yet?” and “Ha Ha!” across the bottom. A handwritten note scribbled between the lines of the official report (not present in the original report, and interestingly in what appears to be the same handwriting as the added note on Page 25 above) states that this is a “Code message equating safety to sex-frighten child and get them in bed.” Except there is a huge problem with this theory: As any diehard Jackson fan knows,  “Are you scared yet?” is the famous tagline from Jackson’s 1997 film Ghosts. To attempt to construe this as being anything “other” than a harmless reference to Ghosts is pure speculation. But it is typical of the manner in which the prosecution attempted to build its case against Jackson.

However, these additional notes which were obviously added to the original reports before they were handed over to Radar Online, as were the inserted internet images and several pages of inserted articles relating the drug Percocet to sex addiction. Percocet, a prescription painkiller that gained notoriety following the recent investigation into Prince’s death, was found on the premises during the 2003 raid; however, the original documents make no such claim as attempting to link the drug to sex addiction. Curiously, many of the added pages all bear one thing in common ― the date 1/10/16 ― which would appear to date the time of the forgery to approximately five months prior to the orchestrated timing of their “release” on June 20th.

Unfortunately, the media has become an all too willing participant, creating a skewered picture in which tabloid sensationalism and spotty fact checking are allowed to stand. What’s more, it seems even the words of the actual authorities involved in the 2003-2005 case against Jackson are being ignored beneath an onslaught of “click bait” headlines and grossly exaggerated reporting. Some unscrupulous reporters have even gone so far as to suggest Jackson could have molested his own children ― an utterly absurd and ridiculous claim that has no basis in actual fact, and what’s more, is a particularly cruel and malicious slander against a man for whom his children have never expressed anything other than loving adoration. It is also an inexcusable exercise in emotional cruelty towards Jackson’s children, one of whom is still a minor child and one who has already attempted suicide due to her emotionally fragile state since her father’s passing. I find it even more disturbing that no one has thought to raise the question of ethical media or moral responsibility in all of this. To accuse someone of the possession of child pornography is to accuse someone of a criminal offense ― one that, if the accused person were alive, would be an accusation worthy of a criminal conviction and the permanent label of a sex offender. But a living person can at least take action against such media libel. They can sue for defamation. They can refute the claims. They can defend themselves. The dead have no such redress, and there is something inherently wrong with the idea of bringing such serious accusations against a man who is not here to defend himself-one who had his day in court eleven years ago, and what’s worse, to attempt to retry him in the court of public opinion based on the same circumstantial “evidence” with which the prosecution tried-and failed-to convict him back in 2005.

Where does the insanity end?

Seven years ago, we lost an amazing artist, man, and humanitarian. Recently, in the wake of the tragic shooting in Orlando, people gathered en masse for a candlelight vigil and sang Jackson’s “Heal The World.” From Ferguson, Missouri and Black Lives Matter to recent events in Paris and Orlando, Jackson’s music remains our call to awakening, reminding us of the need to be brought together as a global family. No doubt, with even more recent tragic events that have ignited our nation’s racial divide this week, people will once again turn to Jackson’s music, as they always have, for its power to heal and unite.

Frankly, if the world spent a lot more time listening to the words Michael Jackson wrote, rather than obsessing over what he had in his bedroom, we would be the better off. Jackson’s personal life has already been well dissected. He was put through a grueling and publicly humiliating trial that left nothing to the imagination-his inner sanctity completely ransacked, his most private possessions put up for public inspection; even his own body violated.
Charles Thomson’s excellent 2013 article “One of the Most Shameful Episodes In Journalistic History” is a harrowing account of that trial’s media coverage and the toll it took on Jackson. Sadly, nothing has changed. My point is that there is nothing new here to see. All of this “evidence” was hashed out in court a decade ago. So why is Radar Online so gleefully jumping on this fabricated smear campaign, regurgitating decades old information for which Michael Jackson has long been tried for, and acquitted? Why the need to bait a gullible public into believing that a list of items that was reviewed and dismissed as “evidence” twelve years ago is somehow front page burning news in 2016?

Strangely, perhaps, the first thing I thought of when this story hit was the recently renewed controversy over the Confederate flag. President Obama said that the Confederate flag needs to be retired permanently to a museum, where it can be remembered and viewed as a part of history, but should not be flown as an act of defiance for an ideal that no longer exists. I feel the same way about all of this regurgitated information from Michael Jackson’s trial. Those documents (the real ones, that is) have resided in the Santa Barbara County records’ department for over a decade. They are a part of history, but no longer relevant. The trial ended in acquittal on all fourteen counts on June 13th, 2005, and Michael Jackson died on June 25th, 2009.

But just as there are some individuals who will never accept that the Civil War ended in 1865, so, too, is a faction who will never accept that Michael Jackson was fully exonerated by a court of law in 2005. To this end, they will continue to lie, to rehash and sensationalize old stories, to distort truth and yes, even to fabricate new “evidence” where none exists. I can only see this as a thinly veiled attempt to keep an old battle going that has already long been fought ― and won.


Michael Jackson Breaking News: Souls for sale, Shadow on Tap and no Porn at Neverland

I wonder how many times can you  murder a man? How many times can you stab and stab at someone already lifeless and walk on whistling past the graveyard of your own karma? Every year at least twice, there is an attempt on Michael Jackson’s life and he’s been deceased for 7 years. Those attacks occur like clockwork around his birthday and on the anniversary of his death– around June 25 and August 29. At that time you’ll see “fresh” salacious MJ stories pop up on the tabloid websites so they can kill him again. And again.

And so they can MANIPULATE YOU.

Jackson was an innocent man– proven in several attempted and failed grand jury indictments, recantations and cross examinations, countless globetrotting empty fishing expeditions around the world  for supposed “victims”, the tab picked up by taxpayers of Santa Barbara,  a raid by 70 deputies that ransacked his home and turned up nothing unlawful or evidentiary, and twice in a court of law. Yet the flogging continues. Once again “Pedophilia!” made headlines in the places where necrophilia finds appreciation.

Necrophilia is the enjoyment of death and all things related, particularly “getting off” to put it bluntly without censorship, on all things dead– corpses, cold flesh, dissection, vivisection, mutilation of bodies, dismemberment and body parts, dead bodies. It’s just ghoulish and there are those who still “Dine on Michael Jackson’s bones.” (That’s a reference to a stunning poem about how greedy twisted soulless mercenaries feed off him still.)

Right on schedule, as June 25 loomed ever closer, the tabloid monsters arose from their home in the muck (think Thriller Graveyard) to pen once more their salacious click bait in order to feed the human shadow side. Speaking of necrophilia, don’t you wonder how some shade-loving humans already dead inside love to pay over and over to have their shadow innards filled up again and again on tabloid swill? Yes, there are those masquerading as humans who still buy this stuff. The reading preference of intellectuals, it’s not; more like preferred cat box liner. Now internet stepchild, Radar Online published a new and improved hit piece fabrication about how “new” kiddie porn had surfaced at Neverland. This is particularly curious since a choreographer mentored by Jackson who paid for his family’s relocation to the U.S. had an afterthought –and filed a suite against the estate. This after a gushing and gleeful Wade Robson bragged publicly about how he was going to Las Vegas to work on a tribute to the late, great Michael Jackson. Oops, the estate chose another artist– Jamie King– to craft the show and curiously during the AEG v. Katherine Jackson trial when AEG was foundering, Robson “remembered” he was abused by Michael Jackson. That revelation after decades of singing the man’s praises including under oath in court during his 2005 trial that resulted in his exoneration.

Since longtime representative and acquaintance of Michael’s, John Branca claims “I am Michael Jackson now,” what better way to retaliate for being overlooked for the chance of a lifetime to pay tribute to your muse? A lucrative tribute. Since Michael is no longer here and Branca is now the estate, what harm is there in a little retail soul sold to the highest bidder?

Robson’s case was thrown out and reinstated for 2017. Now there are new attorneys. So, expect Jackson to yet again be dragged through the slime of accusation next year.

The definition of “extortion”:
the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats. Synonyms: blackmail, shakedown, exaction. The new attorney sent a letter to the estate that reads like a tabloid story. It was “leaked” to the press. It’s information that is already in the record or already debunked, but to the uninitiated reader, it looks like the attorneys are asking for the release of names of other MJ “victims” and to release other payoff recipients from their confidentiality agreements. It’s an obvious pressure tactic (think extortion) so that the estate will recapitulate and settle out of court as opposed to a jury trial, a civil case and trial by media. But the case could still be thrown out on summary judgment. The only purpose of such a “leaked” letter is pressure and tabloid fodder– all an attempt to extract money through unethical means– the very definition of “extortion.” If there was a real case, with real evidence, there would be no need to draft such a letter whose intended audience is not the estate but the general media.

Interesting too, is that usually when a client finds a therapist who is truly helping, they would not want to move away but stay put and get the therapy needed for stability of their mental health. Interesting in this case how, as soon as the “memory” was disclosed, the client pulled up stakes and moved across the ocean to another state.

The recent “brand new” evidence of porn in police documents surfaced conveniently with impeccable timing.

Except they didn’t.

We’ve seen this over and over as in the Conrad Murray and AEG cases– suddenly Michael Jackson is resurrected once again for your sadistic viewing pleasure serenaded by a chorus screaming “guilt” which you can be sure every news outlet around the world will pounce on, copy and paste verbatim, never pausing to fact-check the story. It’s deliberate and cynical distraction on the part of the attorneys before litigation to “soften up” the public and perhaps a juror or two? Reasonable doubt, you know. Meanwhile the tabloids make money manipulating their audience into clicking the story, buying the “magazine” or taking the soul bait.

What? You don’t think it’s soul bait? Of course it is. Eye candy for the soulless. Karma be damned. Funny thing about the Universe– it likes to even the score. The holes in the soul are visible to whom they need to be; count on it. The human conscience is a strange animal too. It likes to be clear and when it’s not, psychological damage sinks deep and can surface in self sabotage. The walk of shame is not reserved for the morning after, it is the walk through the grocery store queue where bullying gossip lines the gauntlet. You know the one– where you walk your child through weekly getting groceries and making no comment about the bullying all around; your silence is complicity. And your child is watching. The talk of shame is when you speak about a man you don’t know, have never researched, and cavalierly dismissed as subhuman based on the hypnotic suggestion of mercenaries who know you and your tastes only too well and have made millions off a name they never owned, a talent they’ll never equal and whose owner never saw a penny for his humiliation or his humanitarian charities.

The timing of these things is predictable and that makes it manipulative. How many people tried to make their fortunes off MJ– by his coattails or extortion in one form or another? The numbers are legion.

There were two others who would capitulate to the lure of money and its siren song when the deceased who befriended, mentored and bankrolled is not here to look in the eye. They were “Waiting to see what happened with the Robson case.” One is scheduled to be reviewed later this month. Want to wager on the timing of another salacious and slanderous story about Michael Jackson in the media?

Curious that Robson’s “memory” and revelation to his therapist occurred during the AEG trial. Curious that he left the mainland shortly afterward for Hawaii. When people find a good therapist and seek healing, do they usually move away from them?

Convenient that he discovered his abuse before the estate settled all debt and after his self-imagined humiliation in being overlooked for the part of Michael Jackson’s surviving golden boy. There is more than one path to gold for a golden boy. If this is entertainment for you to watch this, so be it. But don’t pretend to know the behind-the-scenes, the real reason for putting the tabloid trash in your path, or for that matter the limits of human greed and shadowy depraved nature.

And speaking of… now comes Conrad Murray with a new book with al kinds of outrageous stories from a doctor who spent few waking hours with Jackson but whose job was to put him to sleep. A doctor who abandoned his post monitoring a major anesthetic being dripped into his one-and-only patient causing his death. Conrad Murray killed Michael Jackson; how is it that someone who committed homicide (an M.D. sworn to first, do no harm’) is publishing a book about the man who died on his watch when he was the only watchman?

This new book by Murray will upset Jackson fans. Fans need to be careful that they are not selling Murray’s book by bringing attention to it. The tabloids know how this works and how fans react. Radar Online set a new record in June when they published the “Porn at Neverland” story.

A much bigger question still hangs out there– attorneys, filings, condos, and living expenses aren’t cheap. Who is bankrolling a these guys?  People with failed careers, no longer working, who once surrounded wealthy and famous Michael Jackson and who harmed him are profiting off his death.

Necrophilia is profitable these days. Come to the trough and feed your shadow.

Radar Online Sets new record for June 2016

There is a victory dance going on somewhere today…

Robson attorney’s office?
Conrad Murray’s condo?

Certainly at Enquirer and Radar Online offices.

When you click on this stuff you are feeding the beast. And the beast feeds the stories. And the stories feed the storytellers.

Who is paying for this?







Just asking….


SOURCE American Media, Inc.

NEW YORK, July 12, 2016 /PRNewswire/ — American Media, Inc. (AMI) announced that its Celebrity Network flagship site, Radar Online achieved new traffic highs for the month of June.

The site’s 20 million unique visitors and 153 million page views were up 25% and 8%, respectively, over prior year. Even more important, Radar continues to deliver a highly engaged readership – over 3.3 million users returned to Radar Online at least 200 times during June, with more than 13 million returning at least 3 times per day.

AMI Chief Content Officer and Radar Online Editorial Director Dylan Howard said, “Radar Online continues to break the world exclusive stories that our readers can’t get anywhere else, and these numbers prove it. It’s a testament to our reporters, photo editors, producers and every member of our digital team that Radar Online and the Celebrity Network as a whole – continue to reach new heights. There’s much more to come!”

About American Media, Inc.
American Media, Inc. (AMI) owns and operates the leading print and digital celebrity and active lifestyle media brands in the United States.  AMI’s titles include National Enquirer, Star, OK!, Globe, National Examiner, Soap Opera Digest, Men’s Fitness, Muscle & Fitness, Flex and Muscle & Fitness Hers.  AMI also manages 10 different digital sites including,, and  AMI’s magazines have a combined total circulation of 2.1+ million and reach more than 37 million men and women each month. AMI’s digital properties reach an average of 50 million unique visitors and over 350 million page views monthly.

Michael as Mentor, as Inspiration

Seven. It was his number. Has it been that long? Seven years? Most people find 7 lucky, but for him any luck seemed to dwindle the more he grew out of childhood. The only luck Michael Jackson seemed to have was his monumental talent. Even that may have been more lucky for us than for him.’

Michael Jackson’s death was one of those ‘do you remember where you were when you heard…?’ moments. It’s up there with the moon landing, Martin Luther King’s assassination, JFK and Bobby Kennedy, the Challenger Shuttle and Lady Diana moments…  Jackson’s departure rattled the world.

When thrown into the grief process, the first stage is denial—this isn’t happening! We all thought it was a cruel hoax because legends can’t die, can they? Those bigger-than-life icons seem immortal making it hard for our minds to grasp their human vulnerability. David Bowie, Prince, Muhammad Ali…

But for any of them, I don’t remember the fierce denial and impact that Michael Jackson inspired. ‘No; give him back!’ one grief stricken fan wrote. There were many like that. Many broken hearts. And many more wrote me to tell of their strange experiences—their own reactions and the metaphysical events they encountered. A friend of mine who is a medical and spiritual intuitive woke to find a distraught Michael Jackson in her living room the morning of June 26. She works with Angels and she retrieves them and their messages for her clients. She called upon Michael’s Angel to assist him in his transition. Was that real? Well I can’t discount any of the stories I read from his fans about earthly visitations and strange coincidences. They almost became cliché. And I had a few of my own.

I had an intuitive understanding that his soul was being pulled in so many directions as people tried to hang onto him. Having apprenticed with my Shaman for nearly a decade, I felt uniquely qualified to assist with his transition. I immediately wrote a script for soul retrieval so that he could transition with his soul intact and I called a friend with a recording studio and booked some time to record it. Many fans were able to help collect the shattered pieces of a soul splintered in life and claimed in death by millions hanging on. Together with hundreds of fans, we gathered the soul pieces and said our goodbyes. It was closure for many and it was the right thing to do.

My story and link to Michael Jackson wasn’t usual in that I wasn’t a fan late in his life having lost track of him when single motherhood demanded my attention. “We Are the World” was an anthem in our home as my children learned to tolerate and navigate around an activist mother who fraternized with the enemy—Russians, and who was an impresario of our annual Peace Concerts for Sister Cities. I grew up knowing that we, indeed, are the world when at age 7 (there’s that number again) I had an epiphany that the adults who were in charge of the world were neglecting their stewardship and responsibilities and they needed to DO SOMETHING! I vowed that when I was a grownup, I would do something.

I walked a spiritual path since the eighties and had many teachers along the path to enlightenment—Ram Das, Chopra, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, a Sufi, His Holiness the Dalai Lama and for more than a decade—Shamans: Celtic, Native American, Hawaiian and my Core Shamanism Mentor, shaman and teacher. Those who dedicate their lives as seekers on the path to enlightenment know that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. My teachers along the way showed up precisely when I needed them and always had something important to teach me. But imagine my surprise and consternation when my last teacher showed up in the body of a pop star!

Really, God? You couldn’t send me a nice quiet Buddhist like Thich Nhat Hanh? You send me the most controversial person on the planet—or now off the planet? At this stage of my life? Really? How could you? Then you send me the fans? Hundreds of them? The most hurting people in the world at this moment! How am I supposed to do this? At this mature stage of my life? I should be sitting on a beach with an umbrella drink somewhere!”

I went to see “This Is It” to say my goodbyes. I left the theater shaken. Sometimes there’s a moment when the Universe, like in the Wizard of Oz, opens the curtain long enough for you to see what’s behind it and “This Is It” was that curtain. There was no way to ignore the message. And just to be sure, I was strangely compelled to go back and see it again just to be sure of what I thought I’d witnessed and again many more times after that. I couldn’t refuse. It was clear I was not in control. More kicking and screaming.

I wrote a “Goodbye Michael” article for a magazine that was shared with his official fan club.

“Goodnight, Michael.” 

The fans began to write to me. More kicking and screaming. There was so much pain, how could I ignore them? I called my minister and asked for an appointment where I told her what was happening.  She asked if I was going to answer the call. “This is a calling?” I asked, stunned by her question. A call to ministry?

Looks like it to me.” She gave me a copy of her ‘charge to the minister’ and wished me well in my new calling and whatever role awaited me. Deep breath.

Every single person who wrote me—fan or just an observer, shared a similar story that included a sort of awakening and overwhelming grief. There are characteristics of the stages in a spiritual journey. Those stages always include what is called a ‘dark night of the soul’ and a ‘spiritual emergency’ which are the hallmarks of someone ready to awaken to their own divinity and spiritual nature. It became clear to me pretty quickly that Michael Jackson was indeed a teacher; his death awakened people all over this planet. Every one of those who wrote was in the throes of a spiritual emergency. I couldn’t keep up so I started answering them in a blog—I called it “Inner Michael” because they were being called to their inner light. If they could identify with Michael’s light, I knew they would discover their own. It’s not an easy journey and the best I could do was be a touch point.

Some people know their life’s purpose and others don’t even know that they should wonder what their purpose is. Everyone comes here with a life mission which is the real reason they incarnate into a human body.  The whole purpose of life in a body is to push the race forward into eventual enlightenment—the definition of that paraphrased is for the human to advance their soul to a point where they become the best of themselves—they arise to their own divinity so that they can know god. And the god in self. Omniscience and omnipresence means present everywhere, including inside the human. Especially inside the human. In fact, humans are the only life form capable of it. Animals can’t aspire to know their inner maker; that privilege belongs to those made in that image.

All around me hurting people had a huge unanswered question—“why?” I knew the why. I had seen it in the film and in the research I embarked on in an effort to locate more clues to the life of a man who by all appearances, was aware of his purpose, his life mission, and embraced it even as it tore his life apart. Bodhisattvas are those who come into human life knowing they have a mission and stay steadfast to that mission no matter how difficult life’s circumstances are. They will not abandon their mission because part of it is to know enlightenment awaits, but to refuse to ascend to that state of being without bringing the rest of humanity with you. Those who wrote me were supposed to feel what they were feeling. Heartbreak was a necessity. It was part of their life journey to encounter Michael Jackson and to be affected overwhelmingly by his life and his death. Teachers do that kind of thing—make you experience things you would never choose for yourself.

I certainly wouldn’t have chosen the role I played in his death and afterlife. I too tried to run from it. I had graduated from seminary with no idea where or who I would serve, only that I would go where drawn or called. I knew intuitively I would not serve in a church. But I never in a million years would have chosen to be Michael Jackson’s fans’ minister. I’m pretty sure it was destiny as a little over a year before, I had traveled to another seminary to take their course and immersive training in Spiritual Emergency. There’s no question that was a calling—it had that feel to it. But I never could have guessed where it would lead and why the training would be so important. Again, I certainly was not in charge.

One more thing about enlightenment—it’s not what you think. Enlightenment is a state of being that for at this time in human evolution, takes a lifetime of discipline to achieve. Very few have arrived. There are a handful on the planet who are known ascendants that are close. They’re waiting for the rest of us to awaken. Michael Jackson’s death awoke millions. We are all that much closer because of the teachers among us who sacrifice on our behalf.

One thing Michael teaches is that he has never been without abuse in his life. Not as a child and certainly not as an adult. A tortured soul? Yes. By his own hand? No. By destiny. What is the teaching we are supposed to get from Michael Jackson? We are supposed to get filled up on bullying. We are supposed to get sick to death (to death!) of observing, designing, perpetrating, participating or being complacent in the face of torture—of other human beings through words or deeds. We are to get so filled up on it and so sick to death of it that our hearts are irreparably broken; for that is what will make us human—our own broken heart echoed in the broken hearts of others. That is where we find our common humanity. It will make us vow to never bully another human being with the kinds of torture we are so capable of inflicting. Michael Jackson was in life, the most bullied human on the planet; in death, he is still bullied. Are we sick to death of it yet? Has that kind of torture of other humans served its purpose on the planet?

Good. Let’s dance.

I mean that. So did Michael. The best dance we can do is the dance of compassion. The lesson is to learn compassion toward self, toward others, and toward the planet. Defend Michael if you must, but do it with compassion for the ignorance of those who seem “other.” With compassion for the boring, mundane, lifeless and soul-less life they must live until they awaken. Understand what misery that is. Understand the amount of pain it takes to wake up. It often takes great tragedy to wake us from the sleep we linger in and cling to and even then it doesn’t always work. Know that waking always takes a broken heart. Remember your own blissful sleep and know it for the illusion it is; we are here to awaken. We are, after all, walking each other home—to god. Do you want to rest? Or do you want everyone to understand human pain the way you do? That it covers and when torn away, reveals our brilliance! If they understand human pain, they are capable of human compassion. So, let me say that again…

We are all walking each other home.

The day will come when we all share the knowledge and ability of how to comprehend and measure the compassion of a man (person) by what kind of energy or aura he (that person) has. Many people saw a kind of light around Michael—some saw it in his videos, in his face, in his dance, in his music, lyrics, writing, his home—Neverland. That is the light of an advanced being. Some saw it. Some felt it or sensed it or at least felt something unusual. Many who knew him personally called him an angel in the flesh. That’s it—that light.

The time will come when enough of humanity will have reached a stage where everyone will be able to indentify it. It will be like second nature. Then the history that is chronicled will evidence the light. When most of us can see it, all of us will soon be able to know it. Michael’s light will be recognized then. His true nature will be revealed. Want to speed that up? Stop the shadow behavior. Stop throwing shade. Invite everybody into the light. You know something the rest of the world is waiting to discover—the light within. You wouldn’t recognize it in Michael if it didn’t exist in you. In this case it does take one to know one. You do not recognize anything in another that doesn’t live within self. That’s how being human works. And that includes your shade.

I’m not saying it’s easy: I am saying it’s worthwhile. The more you work on it and the faster you go, the closer we all get to that brilliance. Michael said that in so many ways that it would be hard to miss the message. You understand what happens when a human being shows his light to the world and invites others to show theirs. You’ve witnessed it thanks to a skinny little moonwalker. So, which to you prefer? The light within shared with the world, or the darkness within? Brilliance or shadow? Light or shade?

The light at work can still be observed. The work is still with us to partake of whenever we wish.  Pictures and videos and vignettes and stories abound. The man was prolific. The work was global. The gift lives on.

I witnessed this very thing once again just last weekend at the Juneteenth Celebration—the celebration of the end of slavery for African Americans. There was a Michael Jackson impersonator at the local venue and as soon as his music began people gathered but in front of everyone and mesmerized by the movement and the music—were little kids. Every color. Every age. They hugged the stage and didn’t take their eye off the mime who became, for a short time, the embodiment of Jackson. They wanted to touch him, keep the hat thrown during “Billie Jean.” They all wanted to high five him at the end of his songs. Even twice removed they “get” the light.

Eventually they climbed up on stage with him. He did exactly what Michael would have done; he scooped them up and held them, kissed them, hugged and high fived all of them. Nobody in the audience seemed to mind that this persona of Michael Jackson was intimately interacting with their children. That audience knew. I knew. You know.

As for the rest of them out there—their souls want to awaken but it takes heartbreak to crack them open. To break the shell or the armor, to penetrate their minds and loosen their feelings, unbearable pain must visit them. Allowing yourself to have feelings means you have to let in the pain. Think back to how you felt when you heard that Michael was gone… remember how your heart hurt. Your head hurt. Your whole body ached. Remember how you thought your heart would burst? How you couldn’t catch a breath? How hard it was to breathe? They’re afraid of that pain. Know with empathy what it’s going to take for them to wake. Understand why they would avoid it. Know too, that they can’t see in themselves what they can’t see in Michael for you can’t see in another what doesn’t live in you. (Or what you hide from in fear that it is indeed empty in there.) Imagine what a gaping vacuum that is.

People who must believe that others are empty of humanness fear that they, themselves are empty. They take comfort in believing that others are as cynical as they are; their cynicism is a protection from feeling the pain of humanity. They don’t believe in the light because they can’t afford to.

Have the compassion that absolutely knows it’s coming for them. And maybe someday the kindness that comes from forgiveness. That’s fierce compassion. Fierce.


If Michael Jackson was/is your mentor and inspired you to do something, start something, contribute to something, create something, join something, donate something, give up something, change something… please write something in the comments and let us know.

Your story may be appropriate for a new publication being planned. More information to follow.



Michael Jackson’s Child Porn

“Boys Will Be Boys” by James Daly
More than a book review.

In 1975, James Daly published a little book that is one of those books that looks like a children’s book but is written for the child in the adults who happen upon it. It’s a “celebration of the adventurous spirit in every little boy. The definition of a boy graces the back cover… “A Boy is the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.”

Daly isn’t the author for the “author” is the great artists and thinkers of our time in the life of their poems and quotes illustrated by Daly’s sweet pastel works that have us know the boys and the subject matter with a few brush strokes of romantic realism.

This book, “Boys Will Be Boys” is one of the books cited by Thomas Sneddon as a pornographic collection of boys in various states of undress that was seized in the raid on Neverland to collect evidence of Michael Jackson’s crimes against children.

It was placed into evidence as proof of Jackson’s collection of “child pornography.” I wanted to see what this book was about and what it looked like. And I wanted to see what Sneddon saw in its pages—proof that MJ was a deviant.

The cover is a Daly painting on a background of forest green. It depicts a group of boys cavorting in a swimming hole with one suspended in midair soon to join the rest who are up to their necks in summer play. The boy jumping into the water is shirtless and has cut off jeans on and is barefoot— appropriate impromptu bathing attire. There is no nudity.

The inside cover of the edition I purchased is inscribed to a male and female- James and Wendy from a woman and man signing Uncle somebody. It was apparently given as a gift. Harvest House Publishers in Eugene, Oregon published the book and everyone knows Eugene, Oregon is a very forward thinking eco-community and spiritual place.

A caveat on the copyright page says that the publisher has made every effort to trace the ownership of all poems and quotes that include a few from the Holy Bible published by the International Bible Society and used with permission. The text copyright date is 2004 and the copyright is affixed for Daly’s artwork but no dates are given. There is contact information in case of the reader’s interest in securing prints of the paintings.

The only undressed male child in the entire book is on the page opposite the credits page and it is a boy in a diaper holding a hose and filling an old time washtub with water while a beagle puppy in the tub awaits his bath. In the foreground are a child’s trucks and toys. It’s the kind of scene you might see in any front or back yard in the heat of summer.

The accompanying quote is by Mark Twain and it talks about how every boy has a hankering to go and search for buried treasure.

The next plate is a boy dressed in shirt and overalls pulling a wagon uphill that hosts a stuffed teddy bear in the back. The page has two quotes—from Robert Louis Stevenson and James Thurber. They both speak to what boys will do when they are grown—guard their toys and escape understanding.

The next page is a boy fishing in his secret spot and shows a barefoot boy in bib coveralls and the requisite flannel shirt reeling in what looks to be a perch to add to the string of perch he’s already landed.

The next page has a title “First Meeting” and depicts a boy, again in bibs meeting a young colt face to face. This time the boy wears a cap.

The next plate is a misty blue and shows a boy in bib overalls and long sleeve shirt, with his dog at his side at dusk, perhaps? He is flying a kite while his companion, dressed identically but with a sideways cowboy hat repairs his in the grass nearby.

The next page looks like a children’s version of “Beat It” as two boys dressed in bib overalls and long sleeve shirts face of with jutted chins and clenched fists in front of a barn. One wears a straw hat with brim and the other a captains hat and a slingshot in his pocket.

Page 9 is another misty plate—this time green and features three quotes: one from Louisa May Alcott, another from Vice President Hubert Humphrey and the third from the Holy Bible. Alcott speaks of a young boy’s indifference to girls becoming abject slavery to them a few years later. Humphrey says how each child is an adventure and opportunity for change and the Ecclesiastes Bible verse advises to let your heart give you joy in your youth and to follow the ways of the heart.

The next page features Shakespeare warning of boys with bugs and Bradford Angler speaking of the fun of being a kid. A selection from Horatio Alger’s The Cash Boy about humility and starting a baseball club and electing a leader- if you build it, they will come.

The three boys on the next page, a painting alone, appear to be playing rock, paper, scissors to decide who as the caption says, it the “odd man out.” The three are dressed in bibs, one in slacks with suspenders and all in long shirts, one vest and all in hats. The beagle puppy accompanies them.

Next we see a boy in bibs and long shirt shooting marbles on the ground with his straw hat at his side. Louisa May Alcott’s Jack and Jill excerpt is about children skating and sledding in Winter. The two quotes on the page speak to the remarkableness of children: James Whitehead calls them messages sent to a time we will not see and Aldous Huxley says this:

Children are remarkable
for their intelligence and ardor,
for their curiosity, their intolerance
of shams, the clarity and
ruthlessness of their vision.

Isn’t that exactly what Michael Jackson said about children?

The next page features the title “Close Inspection” and is a painting of a boy in bibs, long shirt and hat examining a Monarch butterfly that just landed on his chest.
Turn the page and find two little girls in pinafore dresses who appear to be looking at a Bible (two columns of verses on the page) under the supervision of an older boy wearing jeans and a flannel shirt—their older brother, maybe?

The next blue dusky plate shows a Huckleberry Finn character raking leaves with his dog and the first quote on that page is by Dr. James Dobson from Bringing Up Boy about the rebellious kid and tells of the tongue-in-cheek definitions of girls and boys—“sugar and spice and everything nice” and “snakes and snails and puppy dog tails.”

George Crabbe’s quote talks about trying to be good but the next quote by Frances Hodges Burnett from Little Lord Fauntleroy is chilling:

But it so happened that nature
had given to the youngest son gifts which
she had not bestowed upon his elder
brothers. He had a beautiful face and a
fine, strong, graceful figure; he had a bright
smile and a sweet, gay voice; he was brave
and generous, and had the kindest heart
In the world, and seemed to have the power
to make every one love him.

The next page is a painting of a boy leaned over on his stomach in a tire swing with a girl at the top of the tire straddling the rope that hangs it from the tree. The boy’s dog is nearby looking upward. Both are fully dressed, however, this plate is a little risqué for… while the boy is studying the ground, the dog appears to be looking directly up the girl’s skirt.

And that peek-a-boo dog is the raciest thing in this little childrens’ book. Boys cavorting carefree with no thought of the heavy responsibilities that will be foisted upon then soon enough as they stand at the threshold of: teenager.

More cavorting. Pimples. Deodorant. Girls. Prom.

For most boys to men, that is. For Michael Jackson this little book would have been an eerie glimpse into “normal male childhood”—something he would never know. “Have you seen my childhood?”

The rest of his seized porn collection would include Playboys and Hustlers and naughty girl movies. For any red-blooded heterosexual male, this would be normal and proof of the masculine libido maturing. It would be fodder for guffaws and locker room back-slapping. For Michael Jackson, those rules don’t apply.

Seems they never will. Now they’re trying to kill him again with newly hyped stories about old news introduced in a courtroom long ago where he was found innocent on 14 (count ’em) charges. How many times to you have to kick a body to prove to yourself it’s already dead? How long will you need to revisit this macabre ritual annually?

But then it’s not any corpse is it; it’s Michael Jackson and anything goes for there is no moral compass for “journalists” when it comes to Jackson, the most prolific artist of the twentieth century and the most famous man in the world who just happened to be black and wealthy—a monumental taboo lest black lives actually– one day– matter.

The annual regurgitation of tabloid swill isn’t an attempt to put it to rest once and for all what and who Michael Jackson really was “so we can admit the truth all move on…” it’s the further mutilation of a corpse. We have already moved on– to loftier thoughts and remembrances. It’s you smut-peddling yellow journalists who seem unable to let go of him. The guilty like to bury their crimes in deep graves with shallow motives. Now comes the yearly attempt to justify the global crucifixion of a man for game and sport and to cover over the guilt of those who marched him to his grave and the complicity of the rest of us. Throw on yet another layer of dirt.

Jackson died because he couldn’t get any rest. He lived with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the relentless bullying he suffered at the hands of those who perpetually and shamelessly used his name to make a name for themselves. They’re still at it. Take a good look at who they are. Criminals often return to the scene of their crime. Sadists revisit the act itself– over and over and over.