Inner Michael

For many, this week has been a difficult one. Wednesday was the 5th anniversary of the passing of an icon for most. For some, it was the loss of a personal friend. For that is what he was to many of his admirers. Some claim Jackson got them through their childhood. I believe them. Michael Jackson left this planet on June 25, 2009 and for a moment, the world stood still.

Much of the world has acknowledged, formed a permanent opinion (mostly unmoveable,) and moved on with their lives and past Michael Jackson. One of his closest friends recently told me “the controversy surrounding him will never go away.” And that is precisely why many who saw Jackson as a beloved figure have a difficult time with his death even five years later.

Most people, when someone dies, have a ceremony, witness a eulogy and begin to find closure upon a chapter of life ended. For many of Michael Jackson’ fans, the closure is impossible because the truth of his life and true story as a human being has never been told. They cannot yet take a full breath and let out the pain. They have fashioned, in their own way, their own wailing wall. Sometimes they make an annual pilgrimage to a place where they can wail– even if it’s a silent scream.

When someone pokes you in the eye, it causes a lot of pain but then when the offensive instrument is withdrawn whether a finger or words, the wounding begins to heal. But a wound cannot heal if the poking continues again… and again… And that is what fans have had to endure. They have come to know a man whose life was dedicated to his fellow man, who was kind and generous and sensitive. And quite possibly, the loneliest soul on earth. They have spent the time it takes to dig, to research and investigate a life that was anything but ordinary. They have discovered the treachery, greed, corruption and betrayal that surrounds and follows the very famous and wealthy. And for the most famous and wealthy, it is monumentally ugly. It seems everybody took a piece until there was very little to piece together.

They took his privacy, his freedom and finally they took his home. Imagine trying to become the man in history who took down the most famous man on earth, irregardless of the law. Even that is part of the story.

Ironic the latest hit is “Slave to the Rhythm,” for he was exactly that… a slave. To many who traded off of his iconic place in culture for money or for their own fame– vicariously. In some spheres that is called “predation;” in others, “parasite.”

One day the truth will break free. The unraveling has already begun. And truth likes to unravel.

This message penned from his drummer of 30 years: Jonathan Moffett:

Jonathan Phillip Moffett

On ‘This Night’, at ‘This Time’ of “2:26AM”, . . . . I had ‘Just’ arrived home, from the previous day’s into Night’s rehearsal, for a “Great Tour”, set to be……. “A Great Day” had by “All of Us”, . . . and ‘Especially’ Michael……. In my hurry to exit the arena, to get home to embrace ‘Sleep’, . . for the coming day ‘Already’ On It’s Way’, . . . . . . there was ‘No Way’ I could have known, . . . . . ‘No Way’ I Could Have ‘Foreseen’, . . . the events of the coming dreadful morning, . . . only just mere ‘Hours Away’……. And as ‘I’ lay ‘My Head’ Down, . . on “My Pillow’s Keep”, to embrace the lure of “My Night’s Sleep”, . . . . . . no Clue had ‘I’, . . . . of Michael’s history, of ‘Lack Of Sleep’…….. He was a “Man Of Many Hats”, . . . . of ‘All’ The Things ‘He’ had on his slate, . . from Hours, to Days to Weeks……… As ‘I’ lay down to rest, . . . and welcome my sleep, . . . . . little would ‘I’ know, . . . ‘he’ was ‘There’, in His Where a bouts, . . . . ‘Trying’, . . . ‘Fighting’, . . . “Longing” for ‘His’ sleep……. Wish ‘I’ Knew…. Wish ‘I’ could foresee…….. “Some Sign”, . . . that he was in need……….. To Talk with him at nights…. To Comfort him, during these, his desperately ‘Tired’ fights…….. To ‘Answer His Cry’, of ‘his Call’, . . in “Will You Be There”, . . . that ‘I’ might be able to have said, . . . “Yes Michael”, . . . . “I’m HERE”!!!….. Let us talk….. Let us smile…… Since you can’t sleep, let us ‘Spend Time’ on the phone, . . . “LET’s ‘Us’ Stay UP for a while!”…… “I’m here with you”…… “You Are NOT Alone”…….. And ‘I’ will ‘Try’, . . . to lull you to sleep, . . . with the Words of Our Conversations, recited, . . . comprised, in the ‘likes’, of a Song………….. I wish I knew……. I wish he’d confided in me……. For while ‘I’ slept in My peace, . . . . . . he was slowly slipping away from me, . . ‘And US’, ‘YOU’ his “Beloved Ones”, “his Fans”, . . . as I’d/We’d come to learn later that day, and feel, . . . . . “How ‘Could This’ Be”………… ‘My life’, . . “Our Lives ‘Changed’ This Day”, . . . . “5 Long”, yet ‘Seemingly’ “Short Years Ago” in dismay……….. When The “Shock Of The World”, Felt “Round The World”, . . was proclaimed……… And the “Brother In Heart” ‘I knew and loved’, . . . was taken away……. And ‘Only’ “The LOVE” Remains………. Michael……… For “30 Long Years”, . . . . Nearly “Half of ‘My’ Life”, . . . and nearly “Half Of Your’s” was “OURS” to claim!!!……. And the Memories in the “Halls Of My Mind”, . . and on the “Walls that Line My Heart”, . . shall ‘Always’, remain the “Stains” of “Hieroglyphs”, . . ‘Years from Now’, into My Eternity! …….To show The “HiStory”, . . . of “You”, . . ‘And’ Me……… May your Long Deserved ‘Rest’, . . . be In Peace……. I Love You Dearly……… And Miss You ‘Here In Person’, . . Near my life……… The Love you brought and Shared, to ‘This World’, within ‘All Your Fans’, ‘Family’, ‘Children’ and ‘Friends’, . . . . remains………. As in me……. Rest, in peace my dear friend…… I’ll “Always”, . . . remember thee……._

This comes after a 30 year friendship. And this is pretty much the consensus of those who actually KNEW Michael Jackson.

And the fans? They, and not superficial “biographers” have bothered to excavate and explore the trial transcripts, the official documents, the lawsuits, the autopsy report, the constant barrage of paparazzi and tabloid media assault that made the perpetrators of a crime against humanity (oh yes it was) so heinous. They know the sting of overwhelming injustice, futility, helplessness, hopelessness and paralysis. The also know anger, suffering, sorrow and the full range of human emotions that accompany a knowingness that few can share. They understand the propensity of human nature to believe the worst and perpetuate a lie when there is no impulse to investigate the truth. They understand deliberate and malicious malingering only for profit. They understand the sacrifice of humanity, dignity and nobility for the love of money and they feel the pain of shadow chosen over that human nobility.

They are aware of what frenzy, conspiracy, manipulation, and greed can do not just to the human it is directed at, but what is lost when a true visionary is nullified only for… cash. They are not just feeling their own loss but the loss to all of humanity. It is the most visible yet invisible cautionary tale on the planet in the last century.

The are awake and aware in a way the rest of the world is not.

In order to lift them from the grief, if only for a moment, I share a laugh and a secret that only the fans will “get,” and appreciate and understand. If you don’t understand it, just consider it an inside joke and move on.