The human being is a curious creature. Made of trillions of cells, hundreds of interlocking systems that work in sync, miles of nerves—and it all works together in perfect harmony on auto pilot. The human brain is the most complex computer in the Universe—it beats anything NASA has and it governs this whole symphony of synchronicity we call a human with a precision that is incalculable. Add to that the capacity to renew and heal itself. Remarkable.
The human psyche holds the archetypal archives of the ancients, has a personality, ego, mind, and can invent anything—and has. Everything that you see in this world is a result of thought; before something can come into being, it must be born as a thought in the mind of a human.
In times of tragedy and in the midst of crisis, the human being is capable of the utmost compassion and care for other human beings—brothers in spirit come upon hard times. Over and over this capacity for compassion and agape shows itself to be an inherent feature of human consciousness. It rises and makes an appearance during the most dire of circumstances—Earthquakes, Tsunamis, floods, tornadoes, nuclear meltdowns, the thrust for authenticity and democracy and the quest for freedom. During crises people reach down inside and pull out the best of the human—finding compassion and common ground.
Since we live in a world of duality: courage-fear, kindness-meanness, hope-despair, war-peace, engagement-indifference, love-hate, trust-betrayal, bullying-befriending, friend-enemy, compassion-alienation, isolation-community, and so on… we learn through contrast on this school called Earth. This classroom perpetually illustrates the extremes of the human spectrum between humanity’s polar opposites: its light on one end and its darkness at the other pole.
The starkest contrast and the one that puzzles as much as it fascinates is the human psyche in relation to others of its species. Religion, psychology, anthropology, Theology, and Sociology have all tried to figure it out: “what makes the human tick?” What makes humans behave the way they do with respect to other humans? The human mind is incomparable in its brilliance and incontrovertible its capacity for the darkness of evil. There is a vast chasm between the human impulse of creativity and the human drive to destroy. Why is that? How is it that humans can behave with almost superhuman compassion and yet incomprehensible treachery? How can it be that the darkest capacity of the human mind oozes a bottomless abyss of black-hearted evil while the light is a shining brilliance that flows the sparkling milk of human kindness?
The world outside us is our mirror. It is where we live and where we live from. If you want to evaluate how your life is going or what is flowing from you, look around and be honest about what you see. If you want to know your capacity for generosity, kindness or love, look at the people around you. Are they loving? Are they reflecting you back? Always. If that reflection makes you uneasy, there is a disconnect between who you think you are and who you are being really. If people around you are indifferent, aloof or unkind, that is who you are being. Is the world a friendly place? Or is it dangerous? That judgment lives in you, not in the world. And that judgment is both a lens through which you observe the world and a magnet that draws a world that mirrors you.
The shadow side of the human psyche is that part below the surface of our awareness. It’s the part of ourselves that we’d rather disown than embrace. We don’t want to recognize it because we have an imaginary picture of ourselves that is the idealized self—the self that we want to be, aspire to become, imagine ourselves to be. We don’t like that perfect picture of who we are disputed or disturbed. We want to believe we are the metaphor of that idealized and “beautiful” self. When we measure ourselves against that idealized self, we don’t like to come up short.
When we have dark thoughts we like to disown them and deny that we think that way. “But I am not capable of that!” we cry. I would never think such a thing! I would never act on that impulse! We separate our shadow self from our idealized self and because the idea of shadow is so painful to us and so foreign to our fragile ego, we project that shadow onto an unsuspecting person who happens along into our world or into our view. If I don’t want to believe I am dishonest while being dishonest about something, I will point out crime and criminals. I don’t want to acknowledge my own capacity for anger so to deny my own internal rage, I point out the anger and rage in the world around me. I tell myself ‘I am not that.’ Or I find somebody who can embody it for me so I can point my finger away from myself. I look for and find an enemy on Facebook or I write nasty things about people on Twitter, hurl insults at them and call them names. Accusations are really confessions in disguise. They don’t tell people about my enemies; they reveal me!
To give you an example of my personal capacity for shadow and how to recognize and integrate it—I will tell you about the time I found out I am capable of killing. A peacemaker all my life, I thought myself incapable of taking the life of another human—no matter what the circumstances. Until I found myself in the perfect storm of events. I was traveling alone late at night in my conversion van coming back from a Hands Across America event organized by Michael and many other celebrity philantropists. My children were peacefully asleep in the back when an infamous and dangerous motorcycle gang surrounded me and began playing chicken on the highway. They tried to get me to slow down so in order to not flinch or show weakness, I kept my foot steady on the pedal. They swooped directly in front of the hood of my van so close that I could have reached out and touched a shoulder. The adrenalin was gushing by that time and I found myself in a Clint Eastwood moment thinking: “Go ahead and try; I will run you over.”
The thought came way too easily; the decision came clearly and quickly. It was startling in its ferocity. When the episode was over and the gang tired of me and moved on, I had to pull off the road at the next gas station to recover because I was shaking so badly. I was shaking not from the experience itself, but from coming face to face with my own capacity for violence. It rattled me. But instead of denying it I embraced it by allowing the reality to settle over me and assimilating the power that came from the singular conviction that I could kill given the requisite circumstances and if I had to. I hoped I never would have to use that power but I must say that after I was done trembling, it was a comfort to know I had that power and conviction within me should I ever need to call upon it. It’s the untamed panther within. But that kind of animalistic instinct and power of the violent impulse should be reserved for use only in an emergency and only once or twice in a lifetime. The problem is that we create drama in our lives deliberately in order to justify discharging that kind of violence. That is dangerous and gets humanity into trouble.
To deny my own capacity for violence would have been to deny the fierce protective Madonna in me. She is a Kali figure—the Hindu goddess that I personally call “eater of evil.” I hope I never meet her in a dark alley or in someone else, but knowing she lives in me is reassuring. She embodies darkness equally as well as she devours it. She is the archetype within that allows me to fantasize about what should be done with people who used Michael and others like him for their own selfish purposes. She acknowledges that the same darkness I see in them lays in wait as potential in me. She allows me to create fantasies so that I don’t have to act on them or project them onto someone else by asking them to wear it for me. When people projected their inner shadow onto Michael Jackson, the results were devastating. They were immeasurable for him as a human, for what the world never received or lost as a result of those projections, in the collective shadow and the inability to rein it in and refrain from demanding that someone else undeservedly wear our darkness for us because we dare not look at it in ourselves.
There is another human capacity that always puzzled me. While researching tabloid journalism for Voices Education and the Words and Violence Curriculum, it especially struck me that there is a phenomenon in collective shadow projection and I ran headlong into its destructive impulse. The tabloid industry says that people truly clamor for scandal, salacious stories and illustrations of the downfall of others. They claim humans crave it. They profess that they only give readers what they truly want which is a graphic picture of the demise of someone famous or a “celebrity.” The tabloids trade in the currency of human misery, debauchery and death. Yes death—of dignity and humanity.
As I learned more and more about who Michael Jackson really was instead of the caricature the media painted, and the shock of discovery wore off, I was determined to understand what happened to him. I wanted to know had this potentially happened to others also at the hands of those wielding power and words irresponsibly? Why had it happened? Was it more than profit driven? I struggled to comprehend why and how Michael Jackson was made the punch line of jokes that we don’t even have to tell, the target for the biggest piling on of unkindness toward one human being this world has ever seen. And for no reason! For I had learned he was innocent and that the proof was available to anyone curious enough to look into it. I wanted to know why he was so hated, so vilified and who was to blame. I wanted to know what in God’s name or in human nature could have made it possible for a whole society, a global culture to make a mockery of a human being and his life, who was an artist and only came to share his talent with the world in order to bring them joy. I railed at god and begged for answers. How could this have gone so wrong? How did a man so beguiling and so innocent become the monster that the world loved to hate?
The world does not want to look, to remember, to admit its culpability. It’s the kind of ugliness that takes the breath, takes the life. It’s a Nazi Germany, negro-lynching racist, burning-at-the-stake Salem witch trial, McCarthyism, ethnic cleansing, dungeon torture kind of ugliness that finds life force in the human shadow but saps the humanity, interrupts the civilized evolution of the species and brings the painful cloak of shame. What is it that the culture heaped upon this skinny little entertainer and why? An inquiring mind wanted to know not why he was drawn and quartered on a public stage. It wondered why it was so hysterical, so widespread and fashionable to hate him?
While I understood how intolerant the culture is of people who molest children and I agree, Michael was found not guilty because the charges were unsupported by the facts. The first case being settled out of court was a mistake and never has the accuser, nor the father, ever given legal testimony—one fled the country and the other committed suicide. The documents and the case supported Michael’s innocence and both times the accusers tried to reach into deep pockets. The media gave only one side of the story each time—the sensational and dark pole only. The light of Michael’s innocence was ignored. But the world seemed eager to believe the worst anyway—to the degree that the label continued long after his trial and even after his passing. What in human nature would allow this?
There are hidden motives in the human psyche that often remain unconscious. There are factors that came together which explain the laser focused unkindness that targeted Michael Jackson for the last half of his adult life. What happened in this case is that powerful elements came together and contributed to the destructive power of focused loathing. The picture that comes to mind is a scene in Star Wars where the Death Star takes aim at the planet Aalderan. The destructive power in a perfect storm of circustances is greater than the sum of its parts. There are major influences and power brokers in the mix of elements that impaled Michael and his career. The confluence of factors can congeal to create a perfect storm of circumstances. But the hate and bullying and its resulting damage could not have been so great without stirring into that perfect mix– human consciousness. And that consciousness was collective– a collective journey of consciousness in the context of what was in the field, morphogenetic field– at the time. With determined research, one of the elements that contributed to the phenomenon that occured is shandow and another revealed itself: Schadenfreude.
Shadenfreude is a noun borrowed from the German language that translated means: “scorn” or “pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.” A little used English almost-synonym is “Epicaricacy” which is an etymological compound of “upon” and “evil.” Epicaricacy was identified by Aristotle as an emotion that was part of the teachings in his classification of virtues and emotions. As the opposite of phthonos with nemesis occupying the mean, Epicaricacy is defined thus: “Nemesis is a painful response to another’s undeserved good fortune” while phthonos is “a painful response to any good fortune deserved or not. The person experiencing epikhairekakos actually takes pleasure in another’s ill fortune.”
In The Anatomy of Melancholy, Robert Burton wrote in the seventeenth century in the Enlightenment, the term to say that out of these two arise those mixed affections and passions of anger, which is a form of revenge; hatred, which is deeply rooted anger; zeal which is offended with him who hurts that he loves; and epikairekakia, a compound affection of joy and hate, when we rejoice at other men’s mischief and are grieved at their prosperity; pride, self-love, emulation, envy, shame.
C.S. Lewis addresses Shadenfreude in his works. In Pilgrim’s Regress his character Humanist says: “our father was married twice, once to a lady named Epichaerecacia and afterwards to Euphuia.” He portrays the sardonic mood as well in The Screwtape Letters which is a manual for the employment of evil.
Epicaricacy or Shadenfreude have similarities to envy, gloating, jealousy, sadism and sardonism.
Shadenfreude and Epicaricacy enjoy the public humiliation of a person. It is taking satisfaction or glee in the downfall of others. It’s bullying taken to extremes. It is a not-so-pretty vice of human beings. Placing people in the stocks in the town square is an example, as is witch burning, lynching of blacks and crucifixion.
This practice of inflicting misery onto others and then watching them squirm or die under the weight of it while humans stand around poking fun, stealing chunks of flesh like vultures while enjoying it gleefully with mirth, is an old time honored tradition. It has a name. We have been at this for thousands of years. We didn’t stop it or demand better through the generations. Each time it occurs, we remain bystanders. Each time we mourn the loss of the gifted and inspired among us. And each time we become a little less human.
Each time we stand helpless in the garden as a beloved is led to the slaughter. We have even begun religions in the name of the fallen and martyred. Each time another lamb is sacrificed there is blood on our hands because we don’t stop it. We believe people are guilty because the “machine” tells us they are guilty. We extinguish those who would be lights because there are those who tell us the light will illuminate things we are better off not knowing. We delight in crucifying those who want to be our saviors and then blame the ones in charge because we don’t challenge them. We focus on the upcoming reunion with a beloved we are sure will come again. But each time one comes who wants to save the world, we send them to an early grave. And each time we sigh and grieve and wait for the return. And when the next one comes who asks us to redeem ourselves, we do the same thing all over again. And we never challenge the wisdom of this blood sport and ritual sacrifice. Not much has changed in two thousand years.
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18 Comments
Thank you Rev. B., I echo the frustration. The unwillingness of us to work on ourselves daily, to broaden our knowledge of self and to put ourselves in others’ shoes. And the unwillingness to see the divine in ourselves, and to see the messengers as the inspiration they are – the gifts they are. We see the hatefulness and the apathy in everyday life also, not just in relation to celebrity. All of the current “issues” in the world brought to the forefront by economical distress and the resulting hue and cry to destroy social responsibility as too expensive. Until we see each other as brothers and sisters of worth, without labels and without greed and acquisition as god, we cannot move forward. We must learn that no one person will save us without our help, and that each of us must take responsibility and act on behalf of others. Each of us must keep working and aspiring to love, and praying. Love and peace.
Thanks Sue. The “dark side” according to Mr. Vader can be seductive. And I believe just as firmly that the push for regime change and democratic process in so many parts of the world and the huge humanitarian responses to natural disasters and even ground zero grass roots protesting the abuse of power organized here in Wisconsin in our state capitol is perhaps the rumblings of hope. Maybe underneath all that visible human freedom fighting is a new respect and push for human dignity? It’s the other polarity. Now if we could just understand that the darkness is actually a human wound, we could embrace our woundedness and heal. My mom used to kiss the owie and put on a bandaid not cut off the “offending” finger.
So absolutely right. My Mom used to also say, when as a child I felt damaged by someone and angry, to “stop them with kindness and a great big hug.” It always worked. Love and peace, Rev. B.
Why instead of indulging in dark, ominous jealousy can people not flip that over into admiration instead, and make what they admire in that other their own? Projecting shadow onto another is like saying that one is themseves, not capable of that same light they seek to squelch in the other. And so it must be destroyed.
Brilliant Emmie- can you come up with a 3 step process for doing exactly that? ~B
I learned a lesson about my own shadow recently. I had been writing a poem about Michael, pondering on how he wasn`t valued as he should have been until he was gone. Everything was going fine until I got to the last verse, for some reason I just couldn`t get it to work out. I knew what I wanted to say but I couldn`t get it down on paper. I struggled for days with the problem, until I finally faced up to the truth. I kept writing “you” and “they,” never “we.” It was hard to look at myself in my own mirror and state honestly that I too had at times been indifferent, or too busy, and bought into the tabloid lies to a certain degree. When I finally admitted the truth to myself that little voice within said, ‘you see, if you write from a standpoint of complete honesty the words will flow, deny your shadow and you will block your creativity.’ All I can say is that since I came face to face with my own shadow, I have been set free. It no longer has power over me. Now if I can just keep trying to shine my light into my community each day, I may yet do my part to make Michael`s dream of a better world come true. We owe him nothing less than our best efforts; he never gave up and stands a a shining example to us all. Thank you for a very thought provoking article Rev. Barbara. It is one I will return to again and again. Love and blessings from Scotland.
Thanks for sharing and I salute your courage to reveal your story. ~B
There is much truth in your words Barbara. So much pain and feeling helpless because this lynching is continuing even after death. There are still people lining up to publish their garbage and lies: an artist with a mannequin of MJ holding the baby on the balcony, a singer named Eminem, mocks and parodies the same act with the desire for money in the “business.” It seems that MJ has been always the goal of mediocrity. There is not a fan who does not have an anecdote of discrimination and humiliation of the memory of MJ. If you try to go on the defense you are branded as “crazy fan” and no one gives credence to a madman. This vicious circle is closed and there is no defense possible because Michael does not have, nor ever had, the benefit of the doubt or the right of reply. God knows I’ve tried going to his defense without success. MJ could be relieved but never innocent! why? Because he was MJ. I sent you a personal message.
I woke-up on this rather ordinary Monday morning to read a less than ordinary blog post and in a sense I did, literally, wake-up as a result. I too have walked in the world of thinking that I couldn’t kill. I took much pride in that – walking in the footsteps of Gandhi was my motto throughout much of my 20’s. I worked long and tirelessly in the human rights arena and in passionate non-violent opposition to the Death Penalty. Yes, I received much scorn from those I didn’t expect would behave in such a manner. What happened is while I was being assaulted with the attacks, I was cultivating hatred for those who were in opposition to my way of thinking – I began to lash out in the very same way people were doing to me. I got angry – very angry and I saw a side of myself that I hadn’t acknowledged before. I didn’t realize this was happening till a good friend mirrored it back to me and I stopped dead in my tracks. I proceeded to have my inner eyes opened a little wider when I watched a movie (for the life of me I can’t remember the name except French fries and mustard might help). Anyway the movie reveals how there is a fine line between when it may be appropriate to kill. It made me pause because I too could – if needed to – do just that and I hope and pray that I don’t ever have to. I did feel it though – I felt it and let it move through me rather than pushing it aside. I am turning that new found force and power into a direction that will make the world a better place – I have had dialogue with that anger and fierce protection and that has been profound.
The final paragraph you write – wow – moved me to tears. So true – I have participated in being the bystander though not anymore as I have awareness of what I am capable of doing. I always feel that the greatest first step is “awareness” and then catching ourselves when we start to go there. The more those of us who have the ears to hear will stand and live in this awareness, the more a shift to living with more compassion and from the heart center will occur. I will be sharing this post of yours – because it needs to be a discussion at the coffee shops and around the water cooler. Thank you Barbara!
My sincere thanks for your kind words Rev. Barbara, but I never thought of my comment as courageous [a wee bit scary perhaps opening myself up to judgement!] When I think of the courage that Michael had to wrap around himself just to get out of bed and face a hostile world, only too willing to use him as their target for their latest blood sports, what is a little sharing between those I meet on the road less travelled. For I fear if you are a fan, supporter or admirer of Michael`s you will always find yourself on the road less travelled. That`s ok, I like the people I meet on this journey, and no matter how many rock strewn obstacles or pools of tears we have to negotiate, I am certain in my faith that no detractor can ever separate us from the love Michael left us. That is his greatest legacy and for those who cannot or will not see it I only have pity. Love and blessings from Scotland
Welcome awake- You may not always see it clearly but the world thanks you and so do I. ~B
Do you think its true that to be able to stand up and speak out loud against the wronging of another, to put it very simply, we have to be willing to be killed? I know that sounds extreme but I have had experience in being beaten and my life threatened for defending others who were threatened. Others with me when I speak up have felt at risk of being injured themselves by proximity and have therefore admonished me to shut up. Do you think there is an element of this in what it is that urges us to “turn a blind eye” and therefore be so often complicit in the crucifying of an innocent? Is this the reality we have to come to terms with in order to “rage against the machine” and “fight the power”? Isn’t this who our saviours really are – those who are willing to be killed for speaking out and acting against the wronging of others? And then we allow them to be killed for defending and protecting us, because we are afraid of being killed as they were, for reciprocating. I wish I could understand why this world is this way. I have been afraid and silent at times and at others managed to open my mouth, fear or no fear. But Michael seems to have been the last straw. My life means less and less to me in the face of the relentless churning of the atrocity machine– a machine I can become part of when fear conquers me. Your writings have been an absolute instrument of self-scrutiny for me, without question. And that scrutiny is getting me to the point of no fear of standing alone. Its been a great present from you Barbara. This latest and powerful writing-gift you posted on my birthday, funnily enough. mille grazi.
Martyrs are willing to be killed for beliefs. Saviors see something amiss in the world and seek to change it. Sometimes martyrs are saviors and sometimes saviors are martyrs. And sometimes not. Placing oneself in physical danger that may invite harm is not always necessary or noble. Yet sometimes it is. But calling for help, reporting something even anonymously making one’s voice be heard, speaking to others about your feelings, speaking up when something is offensive, speaking out against bullying, writing letters of complaint and of admiration or thanks, volunteering your time for a cause, supporting others whose work you admire, being willing to be vulnerable, acting firmly with an open heart, and even praying helps as does holding space for change. There is even knowledge awaiting you in pondering why you asked this question. Doing one’s own shadow work and looking honestly at one’s own motives and adjusting if necessary is saving the world because it raises the frequency of the whole race. It elevates mankind. The decision to act when in harms way is a personal one. Being a martyr is not required and is sometimes even harmful for it cloakes other unconscious fears. Sometimes doing nothing is not an option. Remember this question- rephrased: If you are not part of the solution, are you part of the problem?
Herein lies the story of hope: Once upon a time humankind developed the means for splitting the atom and reaching critical mass via destructive weaponry creating the means to destroy itself and the planet. Once upon a time humankind developed the means for reaching critical mass in the consciousness of humans via the internet and created the key to saving humanity. How does the story end? You write it. In fact, we are writing it now. ~B
Thank you so much Rev. B. for this very informative and painfully truthful post regarding the sometimes very ugly side of “human nature”. I hesitated commenting after reading all of these insightful comments because I didn’t think I could add anything else of substance but I just wanted to say Thanks to all of you. It is a sad thought that despite the amazing wonder of the human body and the seemingly unlimited capabilities of the human brain, it is our emotions and judgements that seem to hold us back from elevating mankind to what we could be, even though that is what makes us each uniquely human.
I actually saw “Avenue Q” a few years ago and I remember laughing along with everyone during the “Schadenfreude” number. It really didn’t dawn on me at the time how unfortunately true that song was and how I have to admit to my own occasional moments of “schadenfreude” no matter how minor they may have seemed to me. If we can be aware of how quick we are to react sometimes without thinking maybe we can at least begin to make a change in ourselves. I remember seeing this T-shirt in a store window at the beach last summer. It said “It’s only funny until someone gets hurt, then it is hysterical.” A little bit of Schadenfreude in that message as well. Guess it is sadly a part of our culture! Is it too late for all of us to “wake up”? I hope not.
I’m awake. You appear to be awake too. Anybody NOT awake here? Nope? Thought so. (She chuckles)
Barbara, I agree with you that prayers work miracles when we cannot physically do something about a situation. My Mother-in-Law is a witness to this. She prays/meditate daily and does this at the same time each day for about 30 minutes. She recites the rosary daily. When she hears someone is sick or something is wrong, she prays for them. Prayers are so powerful. I, myself like to pray at night before going to bed. It is said that when 3 or more people are praying for the same thing in Lord’s name, God is with them. I think whenever we see something unjust, discriminitive, or someone is being bullied, we should pray for them. I believe Michael went through so much suffering, but it was his prayers and strong believe that helped him get through so much. You can also see this trait in his mother. She taught him well.
(Note for Rev B: You had raised a question for me above and I had mentally thought of my response. However because of intervening life circumstances, I was unable to revisit your blog all these months up until today. Hope it isn’t too late for me to finally post a reply.)
I guess a 3 step process might be as follows:
1. Awareness and recognition of the shadow within. Some of the most dangerous people might be those who are oblivious of the shadow they carry and project. A person has to first be willing to acknowledge their dark side and the hurt it causes.
2. Awareness of what the opposite of shadow – ie light, what authentic light really is. Perhaps here spiritual warriors and spiritual advocates of different kinds can help create exposure of what real light is as we all can learn by example and instruction and encouragement. The impetus to learn and change however always will come from oneself.
3. Embracing the light. We might in theory know what light would look like. But do we, can we really feel it when we have carried darkness for so long? It would take work and practise to drop old reflexes and ensure that our good sides are way bigger than our bad sides. The third and last step is maybe where alot of people might fall short. I imagine the work might have to happen at a psychological, intellectual and emotional level.
“That which we admire, we make our own”- note for the envious!
Courage, awareness, discipline, guidance and more – all would be required on the inner journey of moving oneself out of inner shadow towards more light.
Amen. AMEN. ~B